My wife was in the pub the other night and six Russian sailors came in and started beating her with iron bars, my neighbour said to me are you going to help? I said no six of them should be enough.
This is another one Her "Do you think.I should dye my hair brunette?" Me "Yeah, why not, I think it would look nice." Her "So you don't like it blonde then?"
Ffs!
on the way to R and N's wedding we drove past leeds castle and my mrs turned to me
her "bloody hell, we got here quick" me "where" her "leeds"
Technically correct as the place Leeds Castle is in is called Leeds.
Was round my brothers last night and he stuck on eurovision as they were handing out the points, after a couple of minutes his gf asked why wasn't America there as they would surely win it!! After that classic she asked where abouts lezland is and was it a country in a country.... She's always good for a laugh!
Doing some DIY this morning minding my own business all going well for a change, when the missus walks in '' everything ok she asks'' just as my drill bit snaps in half!
I've banned her from asking me the Charlton score because you can guarantee that if we are winning 1-0, she asks the question and the oppo score!
I once managed to convince my missus that Johnny Cash was singing the song on the radio about a fella he didn't get on with ........ "Sam Quinten I hate every inch of you".
Made up this whole story about how he wrote the song as his revenge after a bar room brawl ..... "you've cut me and you've scarred me through and through".
I once managed to convince my missus that Johnny Cash was singing the song on the radio about a fella he didn't get on with ........ "Sam Quinten I hate every inch of you".
Made up this whole story about how he wrote the song as his revenge after a bar room brawl ..... "you've cut me and you've scarred me through and through".
Comments
; )
The old time jokes are the best
Q. Name a famous Paul
A. Elton johns swimming pool
*if its on the board I'll give you the money myself
In the last 5 mins :-
Me: I'd rather watch The Champions League Final next Saturday, than go to a "party".
Wife: Who's playing, is it Palace ?
Wife: Talking to someone on her mobile, she says "hang on a minute, I'll just get my mobile".
You're on it you daft bint :-)
I've banned her from asking me the Charlton score because you can guarantee that if we are winning 1-0, she asks the question and the oppo score!
give me strength
Made up this whole story about how he wrote the song as his revenge after a bar room brawl ..... "you've cut me and you've scarred me through and through".
"Poor Sam", she said.
Her "Why don't we just put Justin Bieber or someone like that in we would definitely win"
Me "Justin Bieber is Canadian"
Her "Are Canada in it?"
She also wouldn't believe Georgia is in Europe, she was adamant that it's a state in America and they've got it wrong.
Just for completeness :P