A piece of string walks into a pub and asks for a pint. The barman says "I'm sorry, we don't serve string in here."
The piece of string leaves and ties itself in a knot and rolls around on the floor. It then walks back into the pub, heads up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman says "aren't you the piece of string I just refused to serve?" The string replies, "no, I'm a frayed knot."
The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted.
'An ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.
'Matt's out on his bike and his mum is telling him off'
'Looks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!'
'Jason has had his skate board taken off him
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!
Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're having sex?'
'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar'.
Comments
The piece of string leaves and ties itself in a knot and rolls around on the floor. It then walks back into the pub, heads up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman says "aren't you the piece of string I just refused to serve?" The string replies, "no, I'm a frayed knot."
An elderly man wrote to his son in prison bemoaning the fact that he was unable to dig his tomato patch.
in his allotted phone call the son implored his father not to dig the tomato patch because that’s where the bodies were buried.
Within hours a team of detectives turned up with spades to dig up the tomato patch. No bodies.
”Sorry Dad’ wrote the son ‘that was the best I could do”
Quiz - one section related to answers that had a drink in the answer...
Q. Which former international rugby player reportedly had an affair with Princess Diana?
A. One of the family answered......
Will Carlsberg
🤣
The only way to pull off a lockdown afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Mars Bar and tell him to report on all the street activities.
He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
'There's a car being towed from the car park,' he shouted.
'An ambulance just drove by!'
'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.
'Matt's out on his bike and his mum is telling him off'
'Looks as if the Sanders are going into full isolation!'
'Jason has had his skate board taken off him
After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!'
Startled, his mum and dad shot up in bed!
Dad cautiously called out,
'How do you know they're having sex?'
'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Mars Bar'.
My wife rang the emergency number when I started laughing at Mrs Brown's Boys.
Anyone for fried eggs with basil massage erotic horse? I suppose it's better than chicken in spit.