I can empathise having seen my parents go through similar.
It's not easy to see or deal with.
I agree with Daggs that we should be able to end our lives when we choose or when our loved ones see that the person inside has gone.
Agreed 100%
The anti-euthenasia brigade have not got a clue and many of them have probably never been in the position of seeing loved ones suffer. Who are they to judge?
This is not a simple issue - if a law is introduced and not worded correctly it can put the lives of many at risk. There are many disabled and elderly people whose lives are seen as 'less important' by society including I'm sorry to say some of the medical profession.
One thing to consider when your parents are getting on a bit is having their house and worldly goods put into your name. I know some will disagree but when the care has to be paid for, it soon puts a big dent into any savings or the sale of their house. About £1000 a week is the norm for Alzheimers care.
It is not that simple the local authority can still claim the money back if they can prove the property was transferred to avoid paying healthcare costs.
I can empathise having seen my parents go through similar.
It's not easy to see or deal with.
I agree with Daggs that we should be able to end our lives when we choose or when our loved ones see that the person inside has gone.
Agreed 100%
The anti-euthenasia brigade have not got a clue and many of them have probably never been in the position of seeing loved ones suffer. Who are they to judge?
I've thought long and hard about replying to this posting because it is so wrong and the sheer crassness of that statement I've highlighted in bold has upset me deeply although I do not blame EA for that as he is quite reasonably and rightly expressing his opinion on a forum.
However I will simply state that some members of the 'anti-euthanasia brigade' have indeed seen loved ones suffer actually and are acutely aware of their vulnerability to exploitation and thus the need for protection from the unscrupulous. This is Red Midland's thread so I will leave it there.
Red (M) my mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease and passed away shortly before Christmas 2014.
It is extremely distressing to see anyone, especially a parent, affected by this disease and it is emotionally difficult to experience your own mother seemingly not recognising you, completely ignoring you or as you describe behaving violently towards you. M you and I have met and are similar in age. I can only speak for myself and tell you that I came to some sort of terms with it (you never accept it) by remembering that my relationship with my mother at 2 years old was different to my relationship at 12, 22 and so on.
So it is with Alzheimer's. As you know it is a progressive disease and you have 'good' and 'bad' days dependent on the progression of the disease or how secure or insecure the sufferer feels on a given day. In that sense the relationship is different each time you see her just as it has been, in a different way, at various stages throughout your life.
It is impossible to know exactly what goes on in the head of someone with Alzheimer's. My mother lost the power of speech and gabbled away in an impenetrable language of her own with the odd lucid word coming through taking you aback. In her own way, even if she was apparently ignoring me (us), she seemed quite happy in herself walking around and amusing herself. Then suddenly you'd either get a lucid word or two or you could see in her eyes that she was "back in the room" for a moment or two. One thing she did like to do to the end was singing and music. She couldn't articulate the words but the "humming" was in tune. I was singing Christmas carols with her 5 days before she passed away.
I have a photograph of four generations of my family: my mother, me, my daughter and my grandson (my mother missed seeing her second great grandson by three weeks). I don't know whether she knew that the baby in that photo was her great grandson or not but I do remember the momentary smile on her face and the way she stroked his head (sadly not caught on camera) before disappearing once more into her own world.
It is distressing to see the dramatic changes but who am I to judge the quality of my afflicted mother's life? I may not understand it but there is plenty I don't understand with those afflicted with other forms of illness such as addiction. Do we kill everyone whose perceived quality of life doesn't conform to a "conventional norm?" If so who determines what that "norm" is? Is it done on utilitarian economic grounds? How do we know they want to die if they cannot communicate that fact?
We live in a society where divorce is widespread and people have multiple partners giving rise to "relatives" beyond even half and step parents, brothers, sisters and children. A lot of these people are going to see money "wasted" (in their eyes) on care and, having little regard for the vulnerable person, advocate assisted suicide for their own financial gain rather than the interests of the vulnerable person given half a chance. Such avarice is an unattractive facet of human nature sadly.
This has not been an easy post for me to make and I apologise if it is disjointed but I do not normally express such things in public. However RM's post touched a chord and I feel it important to let him know he is not alone in going through this. I don't profess to have any answers at all other than my personal experience with my own mother but if it helps at all PM me.
I can empathise having seen my parents go through similar.
It's not easy to see or deal with.
I agree with Daggs that we should be able to end our lives when we choose or when our loved ones see that the person inside has gone.
Agreed 100%
The anti-euthenasia brigade have not got a clue and many of them have probably never been in the position of seeing loved ones suffer. Who are they to judge?
I've thought long and hard about replying to this posting because it is so wrong and the sheer crassness of that statement I've highlighted in bold has upset me deeply although I do not blame EA for that as he is quite reasonably and rightly expressing his opinion on a forum.
However I will simply state that some members of the 'anti-euthanasia brigade' have indeed seen loved ones suffer actually and are acutely aware of their vulnerability to exploitation and thus the need for protection from the unscrupulous. This is Red Midland's thread so I will leave it there.
Red (M) my mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease and passed away shortly before Christmas 2014.
It is extremely distressing to see anyone, especially a parent, affected by this disease and it is emotionally difficult to experience your own mother seemingly not recognising you, completely ignoring you or as you describe behaving violently towards you. M you and I have met and are similar in age. I can only speak for myself and tell you that I came to some sort of terms with it (you never accept it) by remembering that my relationship with my mother at 2 years old was different to my relationship at 12, 22 and so on.
So it is with Alzheimer's. As you know it is a progressive disease and you have 'good' and 'bad' days dependent on the progression of the disease or how secure or insecure the sufferer feels on a given day. In that sense the relationship is different each time you see her just as it has been, in a different way, at various stages throughout your life.
It is impossible to know exactly what goes on in the head of someone with Alzheimer's. My mother lost the power of speech and gabbled away in an impenetrable language of her own with the odd lucid word coming through taking you aback. In her own way, even if she was apparently ignoring me (us), she seemed quite happy in herself walking around and amusing herself. Then suddenly you'd either get a lucid word or two or you could see in her eyes that she was "back in the room" for a moment or two. One thing she did like to do to the end was singing and music. She couldn't articulate the words but the "humming" was in tune. I was singing Christmas carols with her 5 days before she passed away.
I have a photograph of four generations of my family: my mother, me, my daughter and my grandson (my mother missed seeing her second great grandson by three weeks). I don't know whether she knew that the baby in that photo was her great grandson or not but I do remember the momentary smile on her face and the way she stroked his head (sadly not caught on camera) before disappearing once more into her own world.
It is distressing to see the dramatic changes but who am I to judge the quality of my afflicted mother's life? I may not understand it but there is plenty I don't understand with those afflicted with other forms of illness such as addiction. Do we kill everyone whose perceived quality of life doesn't conform to a "conventional norm?" If so who determines what that "norm" is? Is it done on utilitarian economic grounds? How do we know they want to die if they cannot communicate that fact?
We live in a society where divorce is widespread and people have multiple partners giving rise to "relatives" beyond even half and step parents, brothers, sisters and children. A lot of these people are going to see money "wasted" (in their eyes) on care and, having little regard for the vulnerable person, advocate assisted suicide for their own financial gain rather than the interests of the vulnerable person given half a chance. Such avarice is an unattractive facet of human nature sadly.
This has not been an easy post for me to make and I apologise if it is disjointed but I do not normally express such things in public. However RM's post touched a chord and I feel it important to let him know he is not alone in going through this. I don't profess to have any answers at all other than my personal experience with my own mother but if it helps at all PM me.
A very thoughtful post @LenGlover and thank you for your comments. I'm sorry to hear your mum went through the same thing and yes your right, I need to remember the good times more. Assisted suicide is a very emotive subject and there are certainly dangers as you have highlighted. I'm not saying its the answer, in fact your post has made me question myself, however unless I've missed it over the last few years, it is time we, the public, had a full and frank debate about it. However in the meantime I'll just hope my mum does not suffer for very much longer, and thanks for the offer of the PM I may take you up on that as time progresses.
My wife's dad is in a home and whilst they care for him well - the person he was is dead. It is very hard for those who are close as to everybody else he is alive. It is a terrible illness. None of us would want to live through it when it reaches a certain point and you stop becoming who you are.
One thing to consider when your parents are getting on a bit is having their house and worldly goods put into your name. I know some will disagree but when the care has to be paid for, it soon puts a big dent into any savings or the sale of their house. About £1000 a week is the norm for Alzheimers care.
Absolutely right. Some people will think it is mercenary transferring an inheritance early, it is being sensible.
Comments
There is no easy answer.
However I will simply state that some members of the 'anti-euthanasia brigade' have indeed seen loved ones suffer actually and are acutely aware of their vulnerability to exploitation and thus the need for protection from the unscrupulous. This is Red Midland's thread so I will leave it there.
Red (M) my mother suffered from Alzheimer's disease and passed away shortly before Christmas 2014.
It is extremely distressing to see anyone, especially a parent, affected by this disease and it is emotionally difficult to experience your own mother seemingly not recognising you, completely ignoring you or as you describe behaving violently towards you. M you and I have met and are similar in age. I can only speak for myself and tell you that I came to some sort of terms with it (you never accept it) by remembering that my relationship with my mother at 2 years old was different to my relationship at 12, 22 and so on.
So it is with Alzheimer's. As you know it is a progressive disease and you have 'good' and 'bad' days dependent on the progression of the disease or how secure or insecure the sufferer feels on a given day. In that sense the relationship is different each time you see her just as it has been, in a different way, at various stages throughout your life.
It is impossible to know exactly what goes on in the head of someone with Alzheimer's. My mother lost the power of speech and gabbled away in an impenetrable language of her own with the odd lucid word coming through taking you aback. In her own way, even if she was apparently ignoring me (us), she seemed quite happy in herself walking around and amusing herself. Then suddenly you'd either get a lucid word or two or you could see in her eyes that she was "back in the room" for a moment or two. One thing she did like to do to the end was singing and music. She couldn't articulate the words but the "humming" was in tune. I was singing Christmas carols with her 5 days before she passed away.
I have a photograph of four generations of my family: my mother, me, my daughter and my grandson (my mother missed seeing her second great grandson by three weeks). I don't know whether she knew that the baby in that photo was her great grandson or not but I do remember the momentary smile on her face and the way she stroked his head (sadly not caught on camera) before disappearing once more into her own world.
It is distressing to see the dramatic changes but who am I to judge the quality of my afflicted mother's life? I may not understand it but there is plenty I don't understand with those afflicted with other forms of illness such as addiction. Do we kill everyone whose perceived quality of life doesn't conform to a "conventional norm?" If so who determines what that "norm" is? Is it done on utilitarian economic grounds? How do we know they want to die if they cannot communicate that fact?
We live in a society where divorce is widespread and people have multiple partners giving rise to "relatives" beyond even half and step parents, brothers, sisters and children. A lot of these people are going to see money "wasted" (in their eyes) on care and, having little regard for the vulnerable person, advocate assisted suicide for their own financial gain rather than the interests of the vulnerable person given half a chance. Such avarice is an unattractive facet of human nature sadly.
This has not been an easy post for me to make and I apologise if it is disjointed but I do not normally express such things in public. However RM's post touched a chord and I feel it important to let him know he is not alone in going through this. I don't profess to have any answers at all other than my personal experience with my own mother but if it helps at all PM me.
Not much more to add other than thoughts are with you @Redmidland
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-68232649