Lazy football cliches
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half a chance
No, it's a chance. A good chance or even a slim chance but it's still a chance.
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"Thought we did enough to deserve the 3 points" - No you didn't you failed to score more than the opposition" I thought we dominated the game" - You lost"All over the park" - What, even on the swings and seesaw?"Early doors" - what does that even mean?0
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We were the better team.
No you lost.0 -
This one - I wonder if it's ever been used in a murder trial.
'He's not that sort of lad'0 -
'A very intelligent player' - he's slow.'The first two yards are in his head' - he's slow.Both ridiculous and almost always used about Teddy Sheringham.0
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"He's just like any other normal young man."
Usually said after a player has done something REALLY silly such as crashing a high performance sports car, got nicked outside a nightclub, been accused of rape or all three.
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'The lads done great'
'I'm pleased for the lads'
'The lads battled and showed commitment'
' I'm pleaed for the gaffe'
'We'll take each game as it comes'
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When a forward cripples a defender 'that was a forward's challenge'. No - it was a blatant assault. (Often used to describe Paul Scholes)
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'At the end of the day a point is better than none'
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"We need goal line technology for incidents like that".0
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When asked about a personal performance/goal: "What's important is that we won"
Also: "I don't usually say anything about the referee, but he got it wrong today"
When a wrong decision is given towards you: "They all seem to go against us, so we deserved one lucky one".
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"The lads gave 110%". Is there such a thing?
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Government is working out how to take 110%.0
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Alan Hansen is the king of the cliché: "passing and movement" FFS.0
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The one that grinds my gears is, "it evens itself out over a season", particularly why you shouldn't moan about some decision some incompetent mug has made. They probably even themselves out for the top four (and we probably do ok in the league that we're in), but if you're a small team in the Premiership it will not even itself out.
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When a team has been battered for 90 minutes and loses and the manager says: " I thought we deserved to get something out of the game". Yes - and that something was feck all.
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When a team has been battered for 90 minutes and loses and the manager says: " I thought we deserved to get something out of the game". Yes - and that something was feck all.
Neil Warnocks response to every game.
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This is one of the worst - when a great shot goes in - "you don't save them" or "the keeper had no chance". Really? Because even in my short life of watching football iv seen every single part of the goal covered by saves and the most poweful shots saved. There may be shots that are hard to save or would require world class goal keeping to keep out but NONE are impossible to save.0
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And I offer you this gem:
"It shows he is passionate". This relates to a player having a strop on being subbed. It isn't because 'he is passionate', it is because he knows the manager thinks he was playing cack and he could be on the bench for the next match (followed by playing on loan for Dag & Red).
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How about "It's not todays result that has cost us relegation, we're paying the price for a poor season overall"
Heard that from many Palace fans a few years ago. Well they were relegated that day. If we hadn't scored they would have survived!
ROFL!
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Similarly, how misused and overused is 'Must-win game'?
We beat West ham 4-0 in a must-win game. We got relegated and they stayed up.
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Away goals count double. No they don't, you idiot.
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This is a bit off piste but for the life of me I never ever figured out what Ron Akinson was on about when he said " So and so gets the ball.....little lollipop" what the hell is a lollipop apart from being a frozen confectionery?0
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a don goodman favourite;
''he's hit that one too well''
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"potential Banana skin"
There is nothing potential about a banana's skin. It's there, it's a real thing.
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"this game's a 6 pointer"
it's not
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This would be a much shorter thread if we asked 'what do commentators/managers say that DOESN'T annoy you?' wouldn't it?
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And another Racist Ron saying was 'an eyebrows ball'. I'm convinced he made these up in order to be deemed 'a character'.
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Another Big Ron one was the reducer in midfield, i.e the thug who licks lumps out of the opposition.0
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Too good to go down....
sounds like many a girl I have known...sigh.
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