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Les Dennis

135

Comments

  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 9,002
    I gave Jim Davisons missus a good shoeing a few years back, well if it's good enough for him.......
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    I had some fella call me a cheapskate in the boozer the other night, so I threw his drink over him!!! Ffs
  • Saga Lout
    Saga Lout Posts: 6,845
    I had to lamp Jim Bowen once when he caught my in bed with the twins and told me I'd get nothing for 2 in a bed.
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    Dropped Dimbleby with a head butt.

    He won't ask me that question again.
  • Algarveaddick
    Algarveaddick Posts: 21,201
    I once had to dig Charlie Chester in the mooey after he said "knicker elastic" in front of my great aunt.

    He wasn't nearly so cheerful after that, I can tell you.
  • Macronate
    Macronate Posts: 12,915
    caught Humpty Dumpty shoplifting during my time as a store detective. he put up a fight initially but his bravado turned out to be a yolk. when we got him back to the interview room he soon cracked
  • EastStand
    EastStand Posts: 4,110
    I think this is one of my favourite threads of all time.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,641
    caught Humpty Dumpty shoplifting during my time as a store detective. he put up a fight initially but his bravado turned out to be a yolk. when we got him back to the interview room he soon cracked
    I heard he had drug problems, he was probably scrambled at the time
  • bigstemarra
    bigstemarra Posts: 5,098
    Kicked that bastard Godfrey (off of Dad's Army) in the mush once - you should have seen his teeth flying out! Mug.

    He'll have a right job trying to eat one of his sister Dolly's upside-down cakes after that!

    That'll teach him to give it the biggun about his 'weak bladder' and asking to be excused from parade duty so he can have a gipsy's kiss, language like that in front of the Vicar AND the Verger.....men of the cloth! The man is scum.

    Mind you, I had to scapa afterwards coz Corporal Jones came looking for me with his bayonet fixed and things were about to get pwopa nawty as Mainwaring had had a few and striped Sgt Wilson with a home made shank (there was a war on, after all)....good job I made a beeline for a nearby buddlia like a V2 rocket.

    Got a bit of a scratching of Private Frazier into the bargain. If I ever see that melt again he is DOOMED.
  • buckshee
    buckshee Posts: 7,869
    I threw empty cans and food wrappers from the disabled bit of the north upper onto some herbert

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  • nolly
    nolly Posts: 12,122
    Nice one Buckshee
  • rikofold
    rikofold Posts: 4,051
    Once had to slap Jilly Goolden at a wine tasting. Claret everywhere.
  • Penfolds Perm
    Penfolds Perm Posts: 550
    Once caught my Mrs sitting on Pinocchio's face.

    I thought '' He's lying again ''
  • gilbertfilbert
    gilbertfilbert Posts: 2,282
    Once caught my Mrs sitting on Pinocchio's face.

    I thought '' He's lying again ''
    No, he was going lie, truth, lie, truth...
  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,732
    edited March 2012
    I got punched by michael winner about a year ago. I only told him to calm down dear
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,641
    Matt willis was giving it large in a club a couple of years ago. Busted him good and proper.
  • redcarter
    redcarter Posts: 1,013
    I once had a tear up with Winston Churchill over some tinned fruit. I thought I'll fight em for the peaches...
  • AddickUpNorth
    AddickUpNorth Posts: 8,325
    Danny Dyer launched into me a while ago with a right load of wideboy verbals. Was a bit scared at first then it clicked - it's Danny Dyer ffs. So I laughed in his face and he skulked away sobbing.
  • Swerve
    Swerve Posts: 1,244
    Punched Russ Abbott at The Valley last week. He kept going on about the atmosphere.
  • AddickUpNorth
    AddickUpNorth Posts: 8,325
    Punched Russ Abbott at The Valley last week. He kept going on about the atmosphere.
    Like it.

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  • Six-a-bag-of-nuts
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,133
    Poleaxed Billy Cotton in my youth then bent down to his ear and shouted wakey wayyyykeeeee
  • hoof_it_up_to_benty
    hoof_it_up_to_benty Posts: 22,497
    Saw this red red robin keep bobbing round my garden - I shot it.
  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,513
    Saw this red red robin keep bobbing round my garden - I shot it.
    Ooooooh............. a bit near the mark that one hoof it!!!!

  • Pelham123
    Pelham123 Posts: 380
    edited March 2012
    The late Jimmy Saville once queue jumped me in a chipoil in Salford. Decked him like an old lady in the snow with a well aimed pickled egg. The fall snapped his cigar in two. Put some manners on him. Told him straight 'try fixing that Jimbo'.
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Matt willis was giving it large in a club a couple of years ago. Busted him good and proper.
    Weren't he in Mcfly? ;-)
  • thewolfboy
    thewolfboy Posts: 2,934
    David Walliams gave me a hard time in the Travel Shop. He said, "the computer says No." Picked him up, twirled him around and flung him through the window. Last seen swimming down the river. Twat.
  • Rob
    Rob Posts: 11,879
    I once met Jim Bowen as I was coming out of the gents in my local boozer. I politely asked him what he was doing there and he just laid into me. Bully.
  • Oakster
    Oakster Posts: 6,812
    i was on the receiving end when Jimmy Hill got pwoper nawty the other day.

    Sly old sod chinned me :(
  • Rufus_Ambition
    Rufus_Ambition Posts: 605
    I Hi-de-Hit Paul Shane in the chops when he called me a "soft southern p**f".
  • March51
    March51 Posts: 3,256
    Regan once told me 'You're nicked'. I told him to put his trousers on.

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