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Questions which must be answered

man_at_milletts
man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
in Fun, Jokes & Captions
You're in a lift which suddenly starts hurtling to the ground. Do you

a) Jump up and down in the hope that you'll be in the air when it slams into the ground
b) Keep avoiding eye contact with the other people and pretend it ain't happening
c) Poop yourself
d) Something else

A years supply of Marmite for the best something else.

N.B. More than one of the above maybe the correct answer.
«1

Comments

  • redcard
    redcard Posts: 3
    Put your head between your legs,and kiss your arss goodbye.
  • Leroy Ambrose
    Leroy Ambrose Posts: 14,435
    D - lob one off
  • Deadred
    Deadred Posts: 1,514
    edited November 2012
    d) Wake yourself up quickly before the dream becomes a nightmare.
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,782
    Think to myself "so, this is how it felt to be a Millwall supporter in 2005"............................
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    d) Get really pissed off cos its only January and you didnt get much time to use all that Marmite
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    d) Get out your phone and update your location on Facebook
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    d) Do a handstand so you are then actually going upwards, saving yourself from death.
  • ChiAddick
    ChiAddick Posts: 1,781
    I may be wrong but jumping up and down wouldn't make a difference. You will still hit the ground at the same speed. Maybe a couple milliseconds after everyone else if you time it right ;)
  • Shag
    Shag Posts: 4,555
    D) Start a thread on Charlton life about it
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,782
    ChiAddick said:

    I may be wrong but jumping up and down wouldn't make a difference. You will still hit the ground at the same speed. Maybe a couple milliseconds after everyone else if you time it right ;)

    D) post a serious answer on CL............................

    ;-)
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  • Dizzle
    Dizzle Posts: 5,190
    D) Danger Wank - Have to bust before you hit the ground
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    d) Take the stairs
  • lordromford
    lordromford Posts: 7,770
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    D - lob one off

    Could be embarrassing if you're only on the first floor!

    :-O
  • carly burn
    carly burn Posts: 19,453
    D) Ring the society of black lawyers.
  • Lincsaddick
    Lincsaddick Posts: 32,345
    edited November 2012
    D) Start singing: 'Love in an elevator .. living it up 'til I hit the ground'
  • johnny73
    johnny73 Posts: 4,567
    D) Kill everyone else in the lift, create a mattress out of their bodies, lay on top of them and hope they absorb the violent impact as the lift hits the ground.
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    d) Press the button for the 2nd floor
  • fattmatt
    fattmatt Posts: 580
    I saw this on 'Mythbusters'. Jumping won't work. You have to lay on the fattest person. If you're the fattest person you're stuffed.
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Bugger! I forgot to mention. Jessica Ennis and Susan Boyle are in the lift also.
  • Deadred
    Deadred Posts: 1,514
    edited November 2012
    fattmatt said:

    I saw this on 'Mythbusters'. Jumping won't work. You have to lay on the fattest person. If you're the fattest person you're stuffed.

    Can I be the first to say then ...Unlucky Matt.
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  • dizzee
    dizzee Posts: 5,616
    Bend your knees
  • hawksmoor
    hawksmoor Posts: 2,608
    Climb through the emergency hatch in the roof and stand on top of the lift, laughing at all the suckers stuck inside.
  • fattmatt
    fattmatt Posts: 580
    'Fattmatt' is kinda ironic. I'm 12 stone!
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    D) ask myself "what would jesus do?"
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    man_at_milletts said:

    Bugger! I forgot to mention. Jessica Ennis and Susan Boyle are in the lift also.

    Take Jessica from behind while she's sucking Subo's cock!

  • Deadred
    Deadred Posts: 1,514
    edited November 2012
    fattmatt said:

    'Fattmatt' is kinda ironic. I'm 12 stone!

    So is Deadred! no offence then (smiley face).
  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,194
    d) Die
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,973
    edited November 2012
    man_at_milletts said:

    Bugger! I forgot to mention. Jessica Ennis and Susan Boyle are in the lift also.

    d) finger SuBo, maybe even up the bum, then wipe it on Ennis' top lip. This should turn Jess into a fit of Olympic proportions. Ennis, with her face smelling like a plate of scampi fries and prawn cocktail skips, starts tearing the lift apart with a combination of running, throwing and jumping. She then k/o's Boyle, stretches her body into a hammock tied on the remains of the elevator and we hang in safety whilst it hits the floor. and shes sucking me off.
  • Uboat
    Uboat Posts: 12,194
    ValleyGary said:

    man_at_milletts said:

    Bugger! I forgot to mention. Jessica Ennis and Susan Boyle are in the lift also.

    d) finger SuBo, maybe even up the bum, then wipe it on Ennis' top lip. This should turn Jess into a fit of Olympic proportions. Ennis, with her face smelling like a plate of scampi fries and prawn cocktail skips, starts tearing the lift apart with a combination of running, throwing and jumping. She then k/o's Boyle, stretches her body into a hammock tied on the remains of the elevator and we hang in safety whilst it hits the floor. and shes sucking me off.
    Stranger things have happened...
  • DRF
    DRF Posts: 2,455
    Sorry to be unimaginative but I would totally do the first one. I mean - imagine telling everyone about it if it worked!

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