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Excuses for being ill.

smudge7946
smudge7946 Posts: 4,131
in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Pedro 45 posted the following about Ray Harper claiming that he was unwell because

- his original gig was postponed as he caught a disease after giving a sheep the kiss of life, and it got re-arranged on a night when we drew 1-1 with Bolton I think (1976?)

Has anyone else ever fallen ill from something bizzare/slightly iffy sounding or hard to explain to the beak?

Comments

  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,590
    Posted this on here before but a gay guy I used to work with was off sick. His doctors certificate read..... Collapsed rectal muscles.
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    DaveMehmet said:

    Posted this on here before but a gay guy I used to work with was off sick. His doctors certificate read..... Collapsed rectal muscles.

    WTF happened to confidentiality?

  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,358
    I worked with guy who rung in with the excuse; I've had an absolute skinful, see you tomorrow.
    I dont know if he was angling for the bullet but within 3 months he got transfered followed by a nice redundancy,
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,590
    maybe_baby said:

    DaveMehmet said:

    Posted this on here before but a gay guy I used to work with was off sick. His doctors certificate read..... Collapsed rectal muscles.

    WTF happened to confidentiality?

    Don't worry, he didn't say who'd done it.
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    DaveMehmet said:

    maybe_baby said:

    DaveMehmet said:

    Posted this on here before but a gay guy I used to work with was off sick. His doctors certificate read..... Collapsed rectal muscles.

    WTF happened to confidentiality?

    Don't worry, he didn't say who'd done it.
    lol

  • Leroy Ambrose
    Leroy Ambrose Posts: 14,435
    When I was a kid, I called into my weekend job on a Saturday telling them I wouldn't be coming in as I was playing cricket. Needless to say when I turned up the next day I was politely told to fuck off...
  • Miserableoldgit
    Miserableoldgit Posts: 21,458
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    When I was a kid, I called into my weekend job on a Saturday telling them I wouldn't be coming in as I was playing cricket. Needless to say when I turned up the next day I was politely told to fuck off...

    Did you win ?

  • I_Saw_Semedo_Score
    I_Saw_Semedo_Score Posts: 1,632
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    When I was a kid, I called into my weekend job on a Saturday telling them I wouldn't be coming in as I was playing cricket. Needless to say when I turned up the next day I was politely told to fuck off...

    Haha got to admire the youthful naivety of not even bothering to lie.
  • iainment
    iainment Posts: 8,039
    I don't know if this is true but a friend told me that someone at his work rang in saying he needed the day off as his girlfriend was having a baby.

    Came in the next day and was asked if it was a girl or boy and replied he didn't know - you have to wait 9 months to find out.
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    I had a bloke call in sick once, so I asked him just how sick he was ffs. I'm in bed with me sister was his reply!

    ....and yeah, he was Norwich!

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