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Realising that life's to short.

2

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  • cafcnick1992
    cafcnick1992 Posts: 7,451
    I feel terrible even hearing this. I really hope things improve for you. Be thankful for small mercies - your partner is OK
  • Zinedine Bagheri
    Zinedine Bagheri Posts: 527
    That's so incredibly sad Jake. My condolences to you and your family. RIP George.
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    Rip baby George


    Jake take care stay strong, god bless
  • razil
    razil Posts: 15,041
    How truly awful for you, yes life is too short.
  • Bcaddick
    Bcaddick Posts: 445
    So sad to read your post Jake...Stay strong for you and your partner, thank heavens she is ok.
  • ken_shabby
    ken_shabby Posts: 6,277
    I can't say I've ever suffered anything so devastating. It's very tough, but you have to stay strong for your partner. Life is too short, but time does heal (but it takes a bloody long time). Thoughts are with you.
  • Sillybilly
    Sillybilly Posts: 9,240
    Dreadful. Thoughts are with you. God bless.
  • Danepak
    Danepak Posts: 1,632
    I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your family. Really puts things into perspective.
  • RalphMilnesgut
    RalphMilnesgut Posts: 1,751
    No experience to share but you do have my thoughts.
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,292
    Every parents worst fear. My heart goes out to you both.

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  • cfgs
    cfgs Posts: 11,495
    Mate that is just horrific. Time doesn't make you forget, but it will help make the pain bearable.

    RIP George
  • blackheathaddick
    blackheathaddick Posts: 1,405
    I wasn't sure whether to share this myself online as a lot of people on here know me, but if maybe what I say can help you even a little then it's worth a try. My wife and I lost our baby last year. Not in the same circumstances, and not as far along as you, but it still had an effect, and a year later still has an effect. It's suprising how often it happens. Whilst it won't make you feel any better there are many couples out there going through the same, but people just dont know it.

    I have close family members who have suffered miscarriage. A work colleague lost their baby at birth, and my wife's good friend lost their baby girl a few days after birth. I dont say anything of this as if to lessen what you are going through, because right now your world will feel like it's fallen down around you. But more to say that there are people out there that have gone through similar, and if you are open to talking (which is very important), and it seems that you are, then you will find them quickly.

    If I can offer any advice from my own experience, is that this will probably effect your other half very differently to you, sometimes in ways that you wont understand, and the memory of it for her will come back at times when you may least expect it. Without being crass, her period will be a monthly reminder, as well as other things. Also her hormones will be everywhere at the moment. You will be going through a horrendous time, but you need to be stronger for her, because even if she isnt the type to admit it she will need you. There may be times when your relationship is strained almost to breaking point. Those are the moments to remember why you were together in the first place, because that's when you need to take a deep breath, and be strong for her because it'll probably take her longer to start dealing with it.

    Secondly communication. Dont avoid it like the white elephant in the room. Try to talk to your other half about it. On her terms. But talking things out will release them a little. Things stuck inside will never be dealt with. They need to be let out to start easing them.

    I dont know if any of this helps. But it would have helped me if someone had given me an idea of what was to come when I was stuck in some doctors office on my own, in a backstreet scanning centre in India, when I had just found out, and wasnt allowed to be in the room with my wife when she had it confirmed. Hope it helps.



  • PL54
    PL54 Posts: 10,757
    I went through a very similar experience 10 years ago and time does heal. The only positive is that it shows that the pair of you can hopefully conceive children together so give it time.

    My one other word of advice would be to try and concentrate on what you can influence and that is your relationship with Mrs Jake, be there for each other.

    As my old Uncle Bob said: "What's lost is lost, we can't regain what went down in the flood, but happiness to me is you and I love you more than blood."
  • Algarveaddick
    Algarveaddick Posts: 21,191
    That is so sad, heartfelt sympathy to you and all your family Jake.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,903
    Man this thread is tough reading. There's just no words. I'm so so sorry for anyone contributing or reading who sadly goes through this or similar.

    Jake, if there is anything in the short-term anyone here or we collectively can assist with, please don't be afraid to ask.

  • Amos on the wing
    Amos on the wing Posts: 1,802
    My heart goes out to you and your family Jake. Stay strong.
  • Dippenhall
    Dippenhall Posts: 3,922
    As a parent of long standing I cannot think of anything more devastating to happen, and my heart goes out to you. You will have children and time will heal and you will not lose the place in your memories where you can still love your baby George even if he is no longer with you.
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 38,019
    Thats terrible mate, absolutely devastating. Stay strong Jake.
  • SheffieldRed
    SheffieldRed Posts: 3,772

    Sorry to read that.

    Contact SANDS, they may be able to help you / your partner in some way.

  • Plumstead_Micky
    Plumstead_Micky Posts: 932
    A very tragic story Jake; a reminder how flimsy life can be. George the hero.
    You probably want the world to stop right now. I hope the messages here help.

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  • Chizz
    Chizz Posts: 28,356
    No-one can fully appreciate what you and your partner have gone through, Jake. But, I am sure everyone would like to wish you and her the very best.

    You owe it to George to pick yourselves up - however hard that is - and carry on living your life as fully as you can. You'll never forget him, but that means he lives on forever, through you two. You'll never replace him, but you can honour him through the rest of your lives.

    I am sure it's going to be tough for you both. But I am equally sure there's someone who has given everything so that you can be together.

    Good luck, Jake, Very best wishes.
  • JohnBoyUK
    JohnBoyUK Posts: 9,047
    There are no words. A close friend went through the same thing recently. As SheffieldRed says above, contact SANDS, they may be able to help.
    Stay strong Jake.
  • 3blokes
    3blokes Posts: 4,610
    Really sorry to hear that. We lost a baby at 30 weeks over 6 years ago and it was an incredibly difficult and painful experience.
    The only advice I can give which I hope helps is to keep an eye on your partner because the loss stays with them in a profound way, and I don't think it ever truly goes away. It is often close to the surface and I found that the life however short needs to be acknowledged and respected for what it was. It is easy not to talk about it, but it is better to do so for both your sakes.
    And that will be true for you also. It will get you at unexpected times, even now as I'm typing this, I can feel that sadness coming back so I'm going to stop here and wish all the best to you both and just try to support each other as best you can.
    Take care
    Jon


  • cafc4life
    cafc4life Posts: 4,646
    That' is awful mate. Thoughts go to you and your lady. Stay strong
  • red_murph
    red_murph Posts: 2,460
    I read your post last night Jake and I still don't know what to say.

    Just that my thoughts are with you and your family fella.
  • Fiiiiiish
    Fiiiiiish Posts: 1,671
    Stay strong Jake, don't keep it locked up, talk to one of a number of people who are undoubtedly looking out for you and your partner at this devastating time.

    My thoughts are with you, extremely sad.

    RIP little George
  • Nug
    Nug Posts: 4,627
    My thoughts are with you and your partner.

    RIP George, a true hero
  • lancashire lad
    lancashire lad Posts: 15,649
    I wish you and your partner the strength to get through this tradegy, and as others have said keep communicating, it's the only way through.
  • GlassHalfFull
    GlassHalfFull Posts: 2,351

    Unbearably sad. The little guy fought so bravely - be very proud you both gave him such character ....
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,445
    I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry to hear this.

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