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This year's official Top 100 Charlton Christmas book list
grumpyaddick
Posts: 6,597
1.PowerPoint by Katrien Moore. An amazing story based on real life events of a young woman who finds that a third class law degree from Blankenburg Polytechnic and a brief flirtation with a septuagenarian tycoon, provides the perfect fast-track to the top flight of English football. "An inspiration for all of us with ambition and no ability," (The Antwerp Chronicle). Only £29-99
2.My winning formula by Roland Duchatalet. The charismatic football maverick reveals his proven mathematic equation that shows if you use at least 5 coaches and 187 players in one season and ensure that at least 86.98% are complete crap, you can propel a team languishing in the second tier of English football to the bottom half of the same division. A life-changing read and the ultimate Christmas bargain at £465-50 (Euros also accepted).
3.The 2% must die by Professor Ron Smelling. Award-winning sociologist Professor Ron Smelling of Antwerp university shows that in all organisations there is a 2% minority that will never comply with the leader's wishes due to psychiatric and mental deficiencies on their part. In this scientific blockbuster, Smelling uses a number of PowerPoint slides to show that if those 2% are simply eliminated (from the equation) that organisation will immediately reach the Premiership. Only £19-99.
4.I love Roly by Colin '1961' Duchatelet. A tear jerking love story of one man's undying loyalty to an eccentric electronics entrepreneur; a beloved father-figure who never returned his calls. "The ultimate unrequited love story" (4-4-2 magazine) "Very sad indeed" (The Sun). "He never had friends at school" (Colin's Mum). Only £1-99 if you agree to talk to Colin.
5. No Substitute (for the Belgians) by Keith Peacock In a rapid re-working of this Valley classic , Charlton legend Keith Peacock explains that working for the Belgians is in fact far more interesting than being the Football League's first ever substitute and this has nothing at all to do with him being sacked if he says otherwise. Only £2-99 with trade in option for any original copy of No Substitute (photos only in black & white).
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2.My winning formula by Roland Duchatalet. The charismatic football maverick reveals his proven mathematic equation that shows if you use at least 5 coaches and 187 players in one season and ensure that at least 86.98% are complete crap, you can propel a team languishing in the second tier of English football to the bottom half of the same division. A life-changing read and the ultimate Christmas bargain at £465-50 (Euros also accepted).
3.The 2% must die by Professor Ron Smelling. Award-winning sociologist Professor Ron Smelling of Antwerp university shows that in all organisations there is a 2% minority that will never comply with the leader's wishes due to psychiatric and mental deficiencies on their part. In this scientific blockbuster, Smelling uses a number of PowerPoint slides to show that if those 2% are simply eliminated (from the equation) that organisation will immediately reach the Premiership. Only £19-99.
4.I love Roly by Colin '1961' Duchatelet. A tear jerking love story of one man's undying loyalty to an eccentric electronics entrepreneur; a beloved father-figure who never returned his calls. "The ultimate unrequited love story" (4-4-2 magazine) "Very sad indeed" (The Sun). "He never had friends at school" (Colin's Mum). Only £1-99 if you agree to talk to Colin.
5. No Substitute (for the Belgians) by Keith Peacock In a rapid re-working of this Valley classic , Charlton legend Keith Peacock explains that working for the Belgians is in fact far more interesting than being the Football League's first ever substitute and this has nothing at all to do with him being sacked if he says otherwise. Only £2-99 with trade in option for any original copy of No Substitute (photos only in black & white).
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Comments
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That made me smile on the 08:16 from Farnborough0
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Very funny Grumpy0
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6. And Then There Were None
In depth profile of West Upper occupants for season 2016/176 -
7. Dream of the Red Chamber
Sint Truiden's training ground IT support hopes of landing the Charlton managers' job following a chance encounter chatting football with Roland Duchatelet whilst upgrading his PC to Microsoft Office 20164 -
8 - The East Stand Diet by DNC - The crazy new diet where you get slim on only 14 chips8
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9 Excessive Grooming
One man's over-worked battle to maintain communications and output for a South London football club6 -
10. It's All Gone Pete Tong
Story of the surprise booking for the legendary 12.30-1.30 lunchtime booking slot for Crossbars ahead of a home game against Wolves8 -
Hunt for the Black and White in October... A harrowing tale of murder and deception as Roland and his Belgian accomplices hunt down the fans who wore black and white scarves in October, can anyone escape as the 'goal' net closes on the brave few resistance members9
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The Asset Sweater - By B Kensell - The highly anticipated sequel to 'I Used to Work For Arsenal' is a daring tale of one mans vision to raise money by installing 'large' TV screens in the stands6
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Fifty Shades of Trains... From the writers that brought you "Dude where's my train" comes a new foray into erotic fiction, its the tail of a mans journey as he crosses Britain in a Charlton shirt and he looks for his new dream locomotive7
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Catcher In Peckham Rye... After enjoying unrivaled success in South West London an eager young CEO targets 20,000 fans with an unconventional marketing drive targeting this untapped Charlton heartland. "Yes I know it's traditionally a Millwall area ...but some fans will prefer red shirts to blue and this is the market we're targeting".7
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Phone photography for beginners - Katrien Moore
Following her hugely successful foray into the literature world with 'Powerpoint', Moore returns with this excellent guide to capturing great photos on your mobile phone. The stand out chapter includes a tutorial on taking elevated group shots.
Photographers World says 'includes great tips on relaxing your subjects by laughing as you snap - guaranteeing only the most joyful of reportage photographs'.
Efficient Recruitment - Katrien Moore
Proving that there really is no end to her talents and following hot on the heels of 'Powerpoint' and 'Phone photography for beginners', Moore is able to demonstrate how to efficiently and effectively recruit senior positions in your organisation with the minimal of fuss. In her concise three step strategy she is able to demonstrate how you can scan the market, interview all of the best candidates and fill senior roles within 48 hours. If your organisation doesn't have 48 hours then Moore has help for you too as she spells out her no lose strategy in the chapter 'promote the post boy on an interim basis'.
Business Week says 'revelationary, a unique take on recruitment that will save recruiting managers in all types of business the pain and effort of actually considering their next appointment, 'promote the post boy...' is a genius 'lose-win-win' strategy, if it's successful then your superiors think that you can spot unrealised talent, if it fails then you were only covering the gap until you could find the 48 hours required to run a full search anyway'.
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NightMeire – A gruesome horror tale in which a once packed office full of support staff get mercifully culled by a sinister invisible entity from abroad who preys on what he calls ‘Headcount’12
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I See Things That No One Else Can See by Are Two Chalets – This revolutionary new book, on what looks upon first glance as 500 blank pages is in fact the authors blueprint for success. This is a best seller in Belgium4
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Fraeye on the Wall Danny Wallace's hilarious sequel to Join Me sees a Belgian third division manager accidentally taking over at an English Championship club.
Boardroom with a View A photographic retrospective for the 98th percentile.
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Kidnapped Robert Louis Stephenson's epic tale of human trafficking through a SouthEast London football club5
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The Football Games ... Twelve Managers all from different regions in Belgium fight it out to the death as President Duchatalet introduces a new way of hiring Managers for his Football Clubs, only the ones who produce results will survive10
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24 - the book Bauer tries to save thousands from a seemingly irrepressible Belgian menace5
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The Liar, The Witch and the Boardroom ... Four curious Charlton fans on a Stadium tour somehow find themselves outside a random door, curiosity get the better of them and upon entering they find themselves in a magical Boardroom, during their adventures they come across a pitiful faun (Richard) who does as he's told, a evil witch (Katrien) who tries to lead the fans astray... and a liar (Roland) who annoyingly keeps coming back to life!!11
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Interim Farm
In a modern twist on the Orwell classic, renowned author Roland Duchatelet writes a semi-autobiographical tale in which he owns a number of farms across Europe, claiming he loves each of his ‘children’ equally.
On these farms are a host of animals, some big, some small, but 99% of them shit at football. In order to show off their prowess and make them profitable at the market, he uses Excel spreadsheets and the experience of Farmer Fry to decide which of his 3-legged donkeys in Belgium would be suited to life England. Then charges the farm for it.
Many existing favourites are put out to pasture whilst Farmer O’Meire is left to sabotage protests and quell unhappy farm staff and visitors:
“No one believes more firmly than Comrade Duchatelet that we are all equal. He would be only too happy to let you make your decisions for yourselves. But sometimes you might make the wrong decisions, comrades, and then where should we be?”
The novel rushes towards a crescendo when upon Comrade Duchatelet uses his other mouth piece, Farmer Fry, to declare that “all managers are interim but some are more interim than others.”
In the end each farm is left with no visitors, no identity, just a few cute chicks and piglets who are sold for a pittance to whichever butcher first comes knocking.10 -
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50 Must have hairstyles for 2016- Paulie and his Nan run through their top picks, from the 70's mullet to the 90's Bowl cut. A must have for anyone looking to freshen up their barnet in the new year.5
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To Kill a MockingFan ... After years of trying to provide this website with Rumours and inside scoops, Colin finally loses it and goes on a rampage3
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Raging Bull –Roland Duchatelet explains his vision for footballing glory with his infamous football network ideology. Comes with an updated chapter titled ‘How to Succeed in the Transfer Window’0
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Watt-LePointe - a series of emails between supporters and Roland questioning the clubs transfer policy.0
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A Tale of Two Cities: How the comings and goings at Charlton are managed from a secret bunker in Antwerp.
The Road to Little Dribbling: Charlton attempt to break their FA Cup hoodoo with a first round win against non-league minnows.
Go Set A Watchman: The story of Roland's instructions to Katrien on Head Coach Recruitment.
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and her Lover: Detailed exposé of all the candidates interviewed for the Head Coach job.
The Fry Chronicles: Diary of an intern. Also available in Belgium as Het Dagboek van Karol Fraeye.4 -
Jamie's 30 Minute Meals - Jamie Oliver book, full of sumptuous photo's highlighting all the food you can purchase at Charlton after queueing for just half an hour.5
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Genuine LOLs here, Grumpy's were excellent. Keep them coming0
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Minor League Report - A full behind the scenes look at how the data is analysed and collated on Charltons new superstar striker from the Belgian 4th division.3
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Groundhog Day ... The Autobiography of Roland Duchatalet covering the first two years of his Charlton reign4
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Watt ado about Nothing ... An indepth thriller into just went on between Tony Watt and the rest of the Management Team prior to his move to Cardiff City0
