Working children living at home
He wont be paid a fortune, but it'll be more money than he's ever seen in his life. We intend to let him keep the whole of his first pay packet, but it's time (at 19 and a half) that he made a contribution to his keep.
It's not something I've thought about previously, having assumed he'd spend the rest of his life having lie-ins and smoking dope, but does anybody have a guide for what is a fair contribution to the vast quantities of food that he inhales every time the fridge door is opened?
All contributions gratefully received.
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Check out local rents and charge similar given that in reality he will get free food, laundry, heating etc.
You could always stick it in an account and give it to him later when he buys somewhere or 'settles down' in some other way.
You've then got the double bonus of having taught him the value of money and the need to contribute and helped him to save a deposit too.23 -
Just a suggestion Idle, but I'd take about 10-15% of what he earned and if you can afford it, put it away for him (without him knowing) so when he does eventually look for a place of his own he has contributed towards his own deposit.
This will be a great surprise for him in a few years time and I'm sure he'll be eternally grateful.20 -
Great minds Len (I should have typed quicker!!)
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Well I'm not giving him the whole lot back, but it's a great idea.
Thanks both.2 -
You could always teach him a bit of independence and tell him to keep a small fridge in his room with his own bits and bobs, obviously still give him meals but let him be responsible for his own "extras" he'll also learn that food don't come cheap and respect you more. Then just take a small contribution towards household bills and utilities. Also like @Brendan_O_Connell idea, ask for slightly more than you need and put some aside for him.0
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My parents did this with my sister, and it was gratefully received. I, on the other hand, couldn't move out fast enough. I don't feel like I missed out as I still empty their fridgeBrendan_O_Connell said:Just a suggestion Idle, but I'd take about 10-15% of what he earned and if you can afford it, put it away for him (without him knowing) so when he does eventually look for a place of his own he has contributed towards his own deposit.
This will be a great surprise for him in a few years time and I'm sure he'll be eternally grateful.12 -
Charge him market prices and get yourself a season ticket on the sofa.5
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Think when i started work early 90s I was earning 9200 a year and was giving my folks 120 a month, which I reckon was about 15%. That went up to 150 over the next couple of years.
Personally I think it's important to get used to allocating some of your wages for non spending things. As soon as I started work I also took out a 10yr endowment which ended up earring f all, but got me into the mindset of saving and being disciplined with my earnings.2 -
It's a difficult one. We have lots of friends who have working children like us and there seems to be no 'norm' of what you take, more it depends on the parents' financial situation and the new worker's earnings. But we all agree it is crucial that they begin to pay their way, however big or small the contribution is they make.2
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Kick him out.
It'll be for his own good in the long run.8 - Sponsored links:
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I really like the idea of charging him something and, if you can afford it, setting it away for him for later. I can tell you as a millennial who has been relatively successful professionally, down payments on houses make the barrier to home ownership incredibly difficult. It's something he's not thinking about now, and nor should he be, I'm only starting to think about it at 30. But I think it's something that could be immensely helpful in the long run.
I also think learning responsibility beyond just finances is important. I spent a couple months with my parents in between moves while my dog Cass was recovering from heart trouble. Just doing the shopping, laundry, washing up, can make a big difference. For us, the fact that I can help watch my parents' dog, who is a rescue and has a lot of issues with barking, really helped. I think things like asking him to cook (for himself to start, maybe, don't want anyone getting food poisoning), do the shopping, do his laundry, all that.
At the end of the day, a lot of it depends on your son, and how mature he is. I moved out to go to uni at 18, have lived all over, and have only come back on rare occasions, but I know that when I'm home I want to help contribute so that 1) I don't get lazy, and 2) it just helps the living situation regardless.5 -
I've changed my mind. I do hope he reads this.8
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Retire and get him to keep you as it has been the other way round for long enough. Alternatively, do what I do and charge him 10% of his take home pay, it's a bargain.0
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Rent is "supposed" to be 1/3 of your take-home pay - in London, it's often half or more. 1/3 seems reasonable.2
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When I started work in 88 I paid 60 quid but salary was only 7500 (and 3600 of that was London weighting)0
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I want to add on to what I wrote above. I think sometimes we overuse the term "responsibility" when it comes to young people, or people in general. It tends to be associated with having a job, a house, a family, etc., and that's not something you can teach until it happens. Instead, I think it's better to teach him to be a conscientious person. He's not going to own a home, or have a family, or whatever at his age. But if he learns how he impacts other people, and paying rent and helping out around the house is very much included in that, I think it's an excellent lesson, and something which will make him a better person in the long run.0
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you sgould think yourself lucky """MrOneLung said:When I started work in 88 I paid 60 quid but salary was only 7500 (and 3600 of that was London weighting)
when I started work in 1983 & earnt around £4k pa (I remember my first monthly pay was £280) and my parents starting taking £100 pm from me - this increased to £125 a year or so later & by the time I left home in 88 I was paying £150 pm.
I think the idea of you giving him some back years down the line is an excellent one - as a financial advisor I have often citef this to my clients, even if they didn't need the money themselves I said it would be a good way of him to start learning to budget & to value money0 -
My Dad used his mothers rule with his advice to me, save a third, spend a third and give a third to your Mum for housekeeping.8
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I say let him enjoy his youth. He's got the rest of his life to realise the soul crushing reality of financial planning.
He's just got a job (to your surprise it seems) so why not let him enjoy the fruits of his Labour for a bit and realise the value of hard work. The reality check can come after.5 -
He now needs to upgrade his dope smoking to some super ak47 skunk how can he do this if your taking money off him . ( bloody parents3
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On a serious note he needs to pay something. How many of us thought when we had a job that are parents were tight taking £50 a week of us. Now we would all run home and probably pay £300 a month. This includes tv lience.washing.ironing. food.bills.etc. One lesson I learnt was when I was 19. I went in to hospital for 2 weeks when I got out my dad asked for the house keeping I told him I've been in hospital and have only got 2 weeks money. He said if you owned your own home the mortgage company don't care were you been they want your money. Ask him for £200 a month. If he wasting his money on dope booze and women put it up and if you can afford it put some a side. But then again you've brought him up for the last 19 years for free . So spend the lot .0
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When I moved back into my parents house a few years ago after a career change and geographical move, my following job was £13k per year.
My stepdad initially made me pay £433 per month which at the time was over 50% of my wages. After a few months it went down to £300 a month which was about 35% of my wages.
All in all, due to the large cut taken out of my salary, I wasn't able to save for a deposit until I got a pay rise a couple of years later.
It isn't meant to be a sob story but more of a case of the first two replies to this thread are great and if that had been set up for me, I would have been on my own 2 feet again much quicker. It is right to charge for housekeeping but as long as it is reasonable compared to their take home pay.3 -
That's not wasting moneycafcledbury said:On a serious note he needs to pay something. How many of us thought when we had a job that are parents were tight taking £50 a week of us. Now we would all run home and probably pay £300 a month. This includes tv lience.washing.ironing. food.bills.etc. One lesson I learnt was when I was 19. I went in to hospital for 2 weeks when I got out my dad asked for the house keeping I told him I've been in hospital and have only got 2 weeks money. He said if you owned your own home the mortgage company don't care were you been they want your money. Ask him for £200 a month. If he wasting his money on dope booze and women put it up and if you can afford it put some a side. But then again you've brought him up for the last 19 years for free . So spend the lot .
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He's probably going to want to go a little bit higher than smoking weed at some point as well.cafcledbury said:He now needs to upgrade his dope smoking to some super ak47 skunk how can he do this if your taking money off him . ( bloody parents
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If it's got tits or tyres it will cost you moneyricky_otto said:
That's not wasting moneycafcledbury said:On a serious note he needs to pay something. How many of us thought when we had a job that are parents were tight taking £50 a week of us. Now we would all run home and probably pay £300 a month. This includes tv lience.washing.ironing. food.bills.etc. One lesson I learnt was when I was 19. I went in to hospital for 2 weeks when I got out my dad asked for the house keeping I told him I've been in hospital and have only got 2 weeks money. He said if you owned your own home the mortgage company don't care were you been they want your money. Ask him for £200 a month. If he wasting his money on dope booze and women put it up and if you can afford it put some a side. But then again you've brought him up for the last 19 years for free . So spend the lot .
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Late nineties I was still living at home and taking home around £700 a week most weeks and still moaning about giving my parents £50 a week!AFKABartram said:Think when i started work early 90s I was earning 9200 a year and was giving my folks 120 a month, which I reckon was about 15%. That went up to 150 over the next couple of years.
Personally I think it's important to get used to allocating some of your wages for non spending things. As soon as I started work I also took out a 10yr endowment which ended up earring f all, but got me into the mindset of saving and being disciplined with my earnings.
Now I live in the real world I realise how lucky I was .
I know more and more parent @IdleHans are taking money off their kids but secretly putting half away for them to help when they decide to move out.2 -
The first thing I did when I got a job was move to my Grans - as I knew she wouldn't take any housekeeping. I managed to save up enough money to buy a flat by the time I was 19. Not all people can be that disciplined I know. But the time I got to 23 I had 2 flats.
There is some good advice on here. It's so much harder nowadays - so the idea of taking money off of him and giving it back as a deposit is a great one.0 -
take 25% of what he earns and try and put some away (say 10%) without him knowing for when he needs a deposit etc2
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Important to make a contribution once you start earning, prepares you well for later life0
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even in my first job back in 1991, I earned £35 @ week on a YTS scheme and gave my mum £10 @ week.0
