You know you're getting old when.

LenGlover said:

CharltonKerry said:

Blackheathen said:

You can remember listening on the wireless to Typhoon Tyson (ably assisted by Brian Statham) deal to the Aussies in Australia. Then Fred Trueman terrorising the Indians who backed away to square leg to get out of the way.

Those were the days.

Seeing Freddie Trueman getting his 300th wicket against the South Africans at the Oval, saving up beer bottles and returning the empties to the off license up the road, finding out we were short and nipping over his wall, to return the same bottles about 6 times over, to pay on the gate and to get the train up there. Sitting on grass by the rope eating warm sandwiches. Those were the days

Going to a test match and forgetting England's opponents.

Fred took his 300th wicket against Australia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_zvf1Bcw6U

I think they've been showing the video to England's current test team, unfortunately they've taken on what the batsman's done, not the bowler.

eaststandmike said:

man_at_milletts said:

When the NHS 'shitkit' arrives in the post.

Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.

I "caught" my own mega log.
Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat.
Have some payback you bastard.

Postman now refusing to deliver to me.

man_at_milletts said:

Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

eaststandmike said:

man_at_milletts said:

When the NHS 'shitkit' arrives in the post.

Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.

I "caught" my own mega log.
Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat.
Have some payback you bastard.

Postman now refusing to deliver to me.

Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.

There were instructions?

Solidgone said:

Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

man_at_milletts said:

Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

eaststandmike said:

man_at_milletts said:

When the NHS 'shitkit' arrives in the post.

Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.

I "caught" my own mega log.
Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat.
Have some payback you bastard.

Postman now refusing to deliver to me.

Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.

There were instructions?

1. Take a piss.
2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel.
3. Do your business
4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card.
5. Pick plate up and empty into loo.
6. Flush contents.
7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie
8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).

Simples - Any questions?

Add to that store the shit covered card in a cool dry place for the test on day two, oh yes and do the same for day three. WTF, I at least thought it was only the one test, pop it in the bag and post it, three days!!!

When you google a "rap" CD as a Christmas present requested by your Grandson and you get this!

Solidgone said:

Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

man_at_milletts said:

Six-a-bag-of-nuts said:

eaststandmike said:

man_at_milletts said:

When the NHS 'shitkit' arrives in the post.

Wearing a rubber glove and catching it can be effective or using an ice cream tub”.

I "caught" my own mega log.
Then on a crazy impulse I went and hurled it a next doors cat.
Have some payback you bastard.

Postman now refusing to deliver to me.

Remind me to read the instructions next time, I must have missed that bit.

There were instructions?

1. Take a piss.
2. Place a small plate in the loo and cover it with kitchen towel.
3. Do your business
4. Scrape a sample of your log and place on card.
5. Pick plate up and empty into loo.
6. Flush contents.
7. Use small plate for toast or egg/sausage sarnie
8. Leave plate to be washed (saving water by using the late twice).

Simples - Any questions?

Wow, no wonder they call you Solidgone!

SuedeAdidas said:

iainment said:

RaplhMilne said:

When you fill in the back of a prescription form, and realise you now get it for free !

Don't forget your 60+ plus Oystercard!
Brilliant and just £20 for free travel all over the London TFL zones.

Make your mind up mate

It's a one off admin charge then free travel.

When you see the League 2 goal of the weekend was scored by Jamal Campbell-Ryce. You look him up and see he's 34.

At a recent game, the old chap sitting near me produced a blanket for his knees, for a split second (honest) I nearly swiped it.

When you get real enjoyment from a newly laid smooth road surface

When you go to the supermarket and whilst docking your shopping trolley back in the docking station you take out your shopping bag put it down next to the trolleys and drive off home leaving it in the trolley docking bay.
15 minutes later, having reached home and then raced back......unbelievably it’s still there!
You then get back home take the shopping bag out of the car and put it down next to rear wheel whilst you get dog out of car and inside the house.
You then go inside and change into onesey and slippers, phone rings and talk for a few minutes which leads to you having to make another call to someone else for about another 15 minutes.
You then go into the kitchen to unload the shopping bag only to realise you’ve left the bleeding shopping outside in the street........it was still there.
F’ing unbelievable!

No.....in a small country town nowadays.

When as a 19 year old I went out with woman 19 years older than myself and you realise she is 80 this year!!

T_C_E said:

When as a 19 year old I went out with woman 19 years older than myself and you realise she is 80 this year!!

It would sound even worse if you were tell people your ex-girlfriend was born before the Second World War started...

Baldybonce said:

T_C_E said:

When as a 19 year old I went out with woman 19 years older than myself and you realise she is 80 this year!!

Yes, I always liked the older woman but have to dig them up now.

Ah, can’t beat a bit of Necrophilia. What’s your cut off point? Anything over 2 months is too much like hard work.