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So everyone's got a Josh Magennis story right?

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Comments

  • wmcf123
    wmcf123 Posts: 5,850
    roseandcrown said:

    ValleyGary said:

    So what you’re saying with the snow story is he put in a lot of effort but ultimately it was down to someone else to come along and get a result.

    Yes, sounds very Josh Magennis.

    Yep does the hard donkey work for someone else to take the glory.

    Haven't seen much glory this season
  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    He stopped a runaway train from killing my puppies. With one hand.
  • paulie8290
    paulie8290 Posts: 23,352
    Sorry but I got you all beat, best Big Josh story ever.

    I was walking near Sparrows Lane and saw Josh walking, shouted oi Josh he never even turned round.
    So I walked up to him and it turned out not to be him.

    How funny is that :wink::wink:

    Disclaimer: this never really happened
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,494
    Big Josh once got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris' foot broke into a hundred pieces
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,335
    paulie8290 said:

    Sorry but I got you all beat, best Big Josh story ever.

    I was walking near Sparrows Lane and saw Josh walking, shouted oi Josh he never even turned round.
    So I walked up to him and it turned out not to be him.

    How funny is that :wink::wink:

    Disclaimer: this never really happened

    You'll never get a stand up gig.
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,494
    ElfsborgAddick said:

    paulie8290 said:

    Sorry but I got you all beat, best Big Josh story ever.

    I was walking near Sparrows Lane and saw Josh walking, shouted oi Josh he never even turned round.
    So I walked up to him and it turned out not to be him.

    How funny is that :wink::wink:

    Disclaimer: this never really happened

    You'll never get a stand up gig.
    Stand up or sit down, for you I hear there's little difference!
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited March 2018
    Dazzler21 said:

    ElfsborgAddick said:

    paulie8290 said:

    Sorry but I got you all beat, best Big Josh story ever.

    I was walking near Sparrows Lane and saw Josh walking, shouted oi Josh he never even turned round.
    So I walked up to him and it turned out not to be him.

    How funny is that :wink::wink:

    Disclaimer: this never really happened

    You'll never get a stand up gig.
    Stand up or sit down, for you I hear there's little difference!
    Cut him a bit of slack, he’s had to walk home from work today.


    image
  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,430
    PaddyP17 said:

    Yeah, Josh is a top bloke.

    A couple years ago I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in, but Josh Magennis.

    I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but I was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want to bother Josh, but she wouldn't stop.

    Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Josh Magennis put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

    Wow! a winner?
  • oohaahmortimer
    oohaahmortimer Posts: 34,306
    Day two of the 5th and final Ashes test in Sydney , the mrs and kids had flown home early on in the evening and the 4 dads are free . So with an Aussie mate we go to some trendy(ish) bar in Bondi , Strauss and Matt Smith are in there ....
    I’m out my nut and hear some northern Irish accents from a few young ladies , I go over dribble and talk shit before getting them to join in with a chorus of du du du Josh Magennis which they dutifully joined in with before moving away swiftly to talk to people not the same age as their dad

    There’s my shit Josh Magennis story
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,335
    ricky_otto said:

    Dazzler21 said:

    ElfsborgAddick said:

    paulie8290 said:

    Sorry but I got you all beat, best Big Josh story ever.

    I was walking near Sparrows Lane and saw Josh walking, shouted oi Josh he never even turned round.
    So I walked up to him and it turned out not to be him.

    How funny is that :wink::wink:

    Disclaimer: this never really happened

    You'll never get a stand up gig.
    Stand up or sit down, for you I hear there's little difference!
    Cut him a bit of slack, he’s had to walk home from work today.


    image
    Sorry about the outfit but at least it kept me warm.

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  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,335
    edited March 2018
    oohaahmortimer said:

    Day two of the 5th and final Ashes test in Sydney , the mrs and kids had flown home early on in the evening and the 4 dads are free . So with an Aussie mate we go to some trendy(ish) bar in Bondi , Strauss and Matt Smith are in there ....
    I’m out my nut and hear some northern Irish accents from a few young ladies , I go over dribble and talk shit before getting them to join in with a chorus of du du du Josh Magennis which they dutifully joined in with before moving away swiftly to talk to people not the same age as their dad

    There’s my shit Josh Magennis story

    Unless Bondi has changed a lot since I was there in 2002 for the Ashes, Bondi is their version of Margate.

    What a f****** s*******!
  • hoof_it_up_to_benty
    hoof_it_up_to_benty Posts: 22,522
    I fought alongside Josh in the trenches in WW1 - he's older than he looks. Saved me from certain death when he put his head in the way of a stray mortar bomb.
  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,430
    hoof_it_up_to_benty said:

    I fought alongside Josh in the trenches in WW1 - he's older than he looks. Saved me from certain death when he put his head in the way of a stray mortar bomb.

    The last sentence exposes your lie sir. There is no way Josh would of made that header and you sir would be surely brown bread!
  • dizzee
    dizzee Posts: 5,616
    I saw him score once.
  • paulie8290
    paulie8290 Posts: 23,352
    dizzee said:

    I saw him score once.

    Give it a few years and that will be a username on here
  • cabbles
    cabbles Posts: 15,292
    paulie8290 said:

    Sorry but I got you all beat, best Big Josh story ever.

    I was walking near Sparrows Lane and saw Josh walking, shouted oi Josh he never even turned round.
    So I walked up to him and it turned out not to be him.

    How funny is that :wink::wink:

    Disclaimer: this never really happened

    I thought you were going to tell us one about when you signed him for Wolves on Football Manager and he got 22 goals and you got promoted to the Premiership.
  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    PaddyP17 said:

    Yeah, Josh is a top bloke.

    A couple years ago I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in, but Josh Magennis.

    I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but I was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want to bother Josh, but she wouldn't stop.

    Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Josh Magennis put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

    I've read this at least 3 times now and it is the funniest and most disturbing thing I've read on CL for some time.
  • hoof_it_up_to_benty
    hoof_it_up_to_benty Posts: 22,522
    Wheresmeticket? said:

    PaddyP17 said:

    Yeah, Josh is a top bloke.

    A couple years ago I got roped into watching my 3 month old niece while my sister got her hair done. So there I am, sitting in the waiting area of a hair salon with my niece, and who walks in, but Josh Magennis.

    I was nervous as shit, and just kept looking at him as he read a magazine and waited, but I was too scared to say anything to him. Pretty soon though my niece started crying, and I'm trying to quiet her down because I didn't want to bother Josh, but she wouldn't stop.

    Pretty soon he gets up and walks over. He started running his hands through her hair and asked what was wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry or something. So Josh Magennis put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted his shirt. He breast fed her right there in the middle of a hair salon. Chill guy, really nice about it.

    I've read this at least 3 times now and it is the funniest and most disturbing thing I've read on CL for some time.
    Sounds like an episode of Family Guy.
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,257
    Haha Paddy!!
  • wmcf123
    wmcf123 Posts: 5,850
    ElfsborgAddick said:

    oohaahmortimer said:

    Day two of the 5th and final Ashes test in Sydney , the mrs and kids had flown home early on in the evening and the 4 dads are free . So with an Aussie mate we go to some trendy(ish) bar in Bondi , Strauss and Matt Smith are in there ....
    I’m out my nut and hear some northern Irish accents from a few young ladies , I go over dribble and talk shit before getting them to join in with a chorus of du du du Josh Magennis which they dutifully joined in with before moving away swiftly to talk to people not the same age as their dad

    There’s my shit Josh Magennis story

    Unless Bondi has changed a lot since I was there in 2002 for the Ashes, Bondi is their version of Margate.

    What a f****** s*******!
    Hi said "ish" but there is nothing trendy about Bondi; went in 2012 and it is pretty grim

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