You know you're getting old when.
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When you take a prescription to the chemist and tell you no longer have pay.
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T_C_E said:
When you take a prescription to the chemist and you can’t remember whether you have to swallow them or shove em up your arse.
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Make a Tommy Cooper reference at work - most of the team look back blankly at me..."never heard of him" they reply in unison2
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I didn't even know what a Global Positioning Satellite was until I looked it up. That's old.guinnessaddick said:When you have had 3 GPS retire during you lifetime.
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When you go to the canteen and it looks as though it's a crèche where the young staff congregate.0
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You fall asleep in a theatre. We’re in the orchard for Awful Auntie, the lights came on for the interval and woke me up.1
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DaveMehmet said:
You fall asleep in a theatre. We’re in the orchard for Awful Auntie, the lights came on for the interval and woke me up and I'd pissed myself.
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When you drop your bookmark on the station platform and as you struggle to bend down to pick it up, a woman who you are sure is a lot older than you nimbly reaches down and picks it up for you3
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....you die.2
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You know what a mixed tape is.
A mixed tape could be for a lover, a friend or yourself. It would take patience, time, devotion and love. LPs and records scoured, albums borrowed, tracks selected and then taped onto a brand new C60 or C90 cassette.
When finally complete it could be used in the car audio system to impress your passengers or presented to your lover or friend in an act of total selfless devotion. A representation of your sensitivity and dedication.
Nowadays a playlist can be made in minutes and shared online in seconds. All very clever, but where is the love man?
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When the twenty-four year old girl at work refers to house music as "from the olden days"2
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You call a mix tape a mixed tape10
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I still treasure the 1967 Summer of Love compilation tape I made in 1983, an inspired selection of songs and sequencing.Raith_C_Chattonell said:You know what a mixed tape is.
A mixed tape could be for a lover, a friend or yourself. It would take patience, time, devotion and love. LPs and records scoured, albums borrowed, tracks selected and then taped onto a brand new C60 or C90 cassette.
When finally complete it could be used in the car audio system to impress your passengers or presented to your lover or friend in an act of total selfless devotion. A representation of your sensitivity and dedication.
Nowadays a playlist can be made in minutes and shared online in seconds. All very clever, but where is the love man?
It's 20 years since I had a tape machine to play it!
Oh and my kids still laugh about the flowers I drew on the title sleeve
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When you drop a twenty pound note and as the wind dictates where and how fast it blows, you know letting it go and risk losing it is a better option than chasing it.1
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When you wake up in the morning and everything is stiff. Apart from the one thing that used to be.7
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When you walk into your study and see the programme of the 1st Charlton v Millwall match you went to as a youngster in a frame, 1968 (we lost 4-3).0
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When your house has a study...ffs, even our Footman no longer calls it that...Daarrzzetbum said:When you walk into your study and see the programme of the 1st Charlton v Millwall match you went to as a youngster in a frame, 1968 (we lost 4-3).
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Also got a sewing room and a Tack room Mr LTGTR, that's what you get when you move to Tropical Daarrzzet
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When you're
pup all night...
... going to the toilet for a pathetic dribble-piss.0 - Sponsored links:
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you’ve turned in to a dog? at least you don’t have to clear up your own poo anymore I guess.Stig said:When you're pup all night...
... going to the toilet for a pathetic dribble-piss.
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I’m getting old and slow - sparring with my 16 year old son, dropped my guard for a second - the body punch he landed has resulted in him fracturing 3 of my ribs. Shameful.3
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I won't do that anymore. My boy is bigger than me, does martial arts and thinks it's really funny to get me pinned on the floor pleading with mum to make him stop.ricky_otto said:I’m getting old and slow - sparring with my 16 year old son, dropped my guard for a second - the body punch he landed has resulted in him fracturing 3 of my ribs. Shameful.
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Sorry to hear that mate but glad you shared it so we can avoid making you laughricky_otto said:I’m getting old and slow - sparring with my 16 year old son, dropped my guard for a second - the body punch he landed has resulted in him fracturing 3 of my ribs. Shameful.
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Same my boy is taller than me and weighs more. Can’t get the better of him nowadays.Baldybonce said:
I won't do that anymore. My boy is bigger than me, does martial arts and thinks it's really funny to get me pinned on the floor pleading with mum to make him stop.ricky_otto said:I’m getting old and slow - sparring with my 16 year old son, dropped my guard for a second - the body punch he landed has resulted in him fracturing 3 of my ribs. Shameful.
Still, forcing him to watch Charlton is lifetime punishment for his actions.0 -
@ricky_otto and @Baldybonce, thank you for posting, I feel better about myself now. For as long as I can remember my eldest has had a real thing about beating dad. At about fifteen or sixteen he beat me in a mess about wrestle for the first time. At the timeI thought, 'that's it - he's done it - there's nothing to prove anymore - it'll stop'. How wrong I was. For the next two years beating me was like an obsession with him. We were pretty evenly matched; he won some, I won some. But by eighteen he was bigger and better than me and I never won another 'bout'. I thought 'there'll be no fun now that he's winning all the time, it'll end soon'. But still he wouldn't stop. He'll be 24 this month, and there's nothing cheers him up in a bored moment like beating dad. The other day he put me in a half nelson and lifted me off the floor - the pain in my shoulder! But he just laughs and calls me a wuss. He's got a friend who's in a wheelchair as the result of a motorbike accident. His friend is going on a course called combat for wheelchair users. And guess what? My son says, "I'm going along with him. How much fun will that be being able to fight sitting in a chair". Oh no, I sense that I won't be free of this even when he's sitting down now. I always thought I'd been a pretty good dad to him, but I must have been a real bastard in a past life to get all this.6
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Try wriggling yourself into a position where you can get a tenner out of your pocket. It works sometimes but my boy is only 15.Stig said:@ricky_otto and @Baldybonce, thank you for posting, I feel better about myself now. For as long as I can remember my eldest has had a real thing about beating dad. At about fifteen or sixteen he beat me in a mess about wrestle for the first time. At the timeI thought, 'that's it - he's done it - there's nothing to prove anymore - it'll stop'. How wrong I was. For the next two years beating me was like an obsession with him. We were pretty evenly matched; he won some, I won some. But by eighteen he was bigger and better than me and I never won another 'bout'. I thought 'there'll be no fun now that he's winning all the time, it'll end soon'. But still he wouldn't stop. He'll be 24 this month, and there's nothing cheers him up in a bored moment like beating dad. The other day he put me in a half nelson and lifted me off the floor - the pain in my shoulder! But he just laughs and calls me a wuss. He's got a friend who's in a wheelchair as the result of a motorbike accident. His friend is going on a course called combat for wheelchair users. And guess what? My son says, "I'm going along with him. How much fun will that be being able to fight sitting in a chair". Oh no, I sense that I won't be free of this even when he's sitting down now. I always thought I'd been a pretty good dad to him, but I must have been a real bastard in a past life to get all this.
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My boy is going to get Servere punishment - I’m going to plant a pile of pornos under his bed (something like 50+ housewives or attitude magazine) and a box of Kleenex. Next time his mates are around they will be discovering them.Stig said:@ricky_otto and @Baldybonce, thank you for posting, I feel better about myself now. For as long as I can remember my eldest has had a real thing about beating dad. At about fifteen or sixteen he beat me in a mess about wrestle for the first time. At the timeI thought, 'that's it - he's done it - there's nothing to prove anymore - it'll stop'. How wrong I was. For the next two years beating me was like an obsession with him. We were pretty evenly matched; he won some, I won some. But by eighteen he was bigger and better than me and I never won another 'bout'. I thought 'there'll be no fun now that he's winning all the time, it'll end soon'. But still he wouldn't stop. He'll be 24 this month, and there's nothing cheers him up in a bored moment like beating dad. The other day he put me in a half nelson and lifted me off the floor - the pain in my shoulder! But he just laughs and calls me a wuss. He's got a friend who's in a wheelchair as the result of a motorbike accident. His friend is going on a course called combat for wheelchair users. And guess what? My son says, "I'm going along with him. How much fun will that be being able to fight sitting in a chair". Oh no, I sense that I won't be free of this even when he's sitting down now. I always thought I'd been a pretty good dad to him, but I must have been a real bastard in a past life to get all this.
@DaveMehmet - can I borrow from your collection (the mags, not the tissues).
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When your youngest child has his 28th birthday and you realise you probably won't be around in 28 years time for his 56th!0
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When you spend 20 minutes trying to change settings on FB only to remember you have a VPN switched on!!
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