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Act Your Age - Nah, you're alright

Six-a-bag-of-nuts
Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,127
in Fun, Jokes & Captions
I'm 64 years old, well respected at work and amongst my huge extended family.
Anyway, er, thought this local landmark needed embellishment.
Got me to thinking that the good people of CL must have done some much more outrageous things not befitting of their age.
Care to share?

Comments

  • LennyLowrent
    LennyLowrent Posts: 2,705
    edited August 2018
    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)
  • stonemuse
    stonemuse Posts: 33,991
    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    mph or age?
  • stonemuse
    stonemuse Posts: 33,991
    cafcfan said:

    I'm 66 and too many to even contemplate. The one I'm most proud of: I left a series of signs sellotaped all over my niece's house for her 6-year-old son to follow. (There may have been a mention of "treasure".) The last one said "Henry push this" with an arrow pointing to a button. He was still in his school uniform standing under the shower at the time......

    He thought it was hilarious, my niece not so much, especially when she found out the tape I'd used was some sort of industrial strength permanent adhesive stuff that her husband left lying around and it was almost impossible to get off and when you did get it off, it took some of the finish from the banister rails, the doors, wallpaper and paint with it.

    Brilliant
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    stonemuse said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    mph or age?
    Door Number...
  • Fumbluff
    Fumbluff Posts: 10,121
    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
  • Rossman92
    Rossman92 Posts: 3,650
    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
  • Justin20474
    Justin20474 Posts: 756
    Rossman92 said:

    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
    Was it a princess? (Explanation for the younger audience, there was once a car called Austin Princess) :neutral:
  • LennyLowrent
    LennyLowrent Posts: 2,705
    As king Eric said: "when the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea."
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  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,417
    Justin20474 said:

    Rossman92 said:

    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
    Was it a princess? (Explanation for the younger audience, there was once a car called Austin Princess) :neutral:
    More likely an Escort. ;)
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    T_C_E said:

    Justin20474 said:

    Rossman92 said:

    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
    Was it a princess? (Explanation for the younger audience, there was once a car called Austin Princess) :neutral:
    More likely an Escort. ;)
    Or a Midget or a Probe. Or just about anything it seems. Poor Herbie. https://telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-having-sex-with-1000-cars.html
  • Fumbluff
    Fumbluff Posts: 10,121
    T_C_E said:

    Justin20474 said:

    Rossman92 said:

    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
    Was it a princess? (Explanation for the younger audience, there was once a car called Austin Princess) :neutral:
    More likely an Escort. ;)
    How cavalier of you
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,332
    Justin20474 said:

    Rossman92 said:

    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
    Was it a princess? (Explanation for the younger audience, there was once a car called Austin Princess) :neutral:
    Did the princess have a riley porsche accent?
  • Leroy Ambrose
    Leroy Ambrose Posts: 14,435
    44. Still draw a nob in the back of every hotel room bible, if there is one
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    Still struggle to supress a giggle when I hear someone fart
  • McBobbin
    McBobbin Posts: 12,051
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    44. Still draw a nob in the back of every hotel room bible, if there is one

    I vary it between "best wishes, God" and "all of the characters in this novel are entirely fictional, and any similarity to people's living or dead is entirely coincidental"
  • stonemuse
    stonemuse Posts: 33,991
    Leroy Ambrose said:

    44. Still draw a nob in the back of every hotel room bible, if there is one

    lol I now have no choice but to do this myself when next in a hotel
  • Exiled_Addick
    Exiled_Addick Posts: 17,168
    Rossman92 said:

    Fumbluff said:

    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    You had sex with a car?
    What you've never stuck your wang in a tailpipe? Christ mate its 2018, anything goes
    I’m 4 by 4 curious and I’d thank you for respecting that I’m am who I am.
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,827
    ForeverAddickted said:

    Still struggle to supress a giggle when I hear someone fart

    There is nothing funnier than a fart in a classroom
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  • Clem_Snide
    Clem_Snide Posts: 11,735
    edited August 2018
    Myself and @ricky_otto have a few I could mention......

    The night we couldn't get a cab in Lewisham and decided to "borrow" a police car to get home - in full view of about 10 coppers!

    The night we decided to "borrow" a dumped car in Beckenham to get home and when we got in it found it had no steering wheel - when the police arrived I sat in the car making brum brum noises and pretending to drive off.

    Throwing almost an entire hotel room out of the window and into the Albert Dock in Liverpool.

    At a pub in Burslem before a Tuesday night game with Port Vale, I went to the toilet and came back to insults and threats from the locals - Mr Otto had decided to tell them I had recently been released from prison for credit card fraud involving OAPs!!!

    After the Engalnd vs Panama game convincing a diabetic Millwall fan to drink a pint of dark fruits cider laced with a dose of every single condiment available in Wetherspoons.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    Clem_Snide said:

    Myself and @ricky_otto have a few I could mention......

    The night we couldn't get a cab in Lewisham and decided to "borrow" a police car to get home - in full view of about 10 coppers!

    The night we decided to "borrow" a dumped car in Beckenham to get home and when we got in it found it had no steering wheel - when the police arrived I sat in the car making brum brum noises and pretending to drive off.

    Throwing almost an entire hotel room out of the window and into the Albert Dock in Liverpool.

    At a pub in Burslem before a Tuesday night game with Port Vale, I went to the toilet and came back to insults and threats from the locals - Mr Otto had decided to tell them I had recently been released from prison for credit card fraud involving OAPs!!!

    After the Engalnd vs Panama game convincing a diabetic Millwall fan to drink a pint of dark fruits cider laced with a dose of every single condiment available in Wetherspoons.

    Good times - I’m sure there are many more that have been forgotten - one that springs to mind...

    1-1 draw at Man City... you literally threw me in to a wardrobe and proceeded to throw anything you could get your hands on at my head.


  • Addickted2TheReds
    Addickted2TheReds Posts: 7,734
    Get a room you two...
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    Addickted2TheReds said:

    Get a room you two...

    We used to - it just used to get smashed up all the time.
  • blackpool72
    blackpool72 Posts: 23,664
    Just cought up with this thread.
    Brilliant.
    After today's game I was a miserable old git.
    This thread has had me laughing out loud.
    Quality
  • Six-a-bag-of-nuts
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,127
    MrOneLung said:

    ForeverAddickted said:

    Still struggle to supress a giggle when I hear someone fart

    There is nothing funnier than a fart in a classroom church
    Fixed :smile:
    I am a non-believer and throughout my childhood I would spend any visit to church in a state of suppressed hysteria waiting to explode with laughter at the intense solemnity and seriousness.
    When I say childhood, I mean life.
  • Six-a-bag-of-nuts
    Six-a-bag-of-nuts Posts: 8,127

    Leroy Ambrose said:

    44. Still draw a nob in the back of every hotel room bible, if there is one

  • SuedeAdidas
    SuedeAdidas Posts: 7,731
    LennyLowrent said:

    First car sex at 52. Non commercial !!! (2nd at 58...)

    That’s a 6 second improvement mate.

    Good going.

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