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Hands up. Who's got a cleaner?

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    Greenie said:

    Carter said:

    When I had a housemate he drove me up the wall with his questionable cleanliness standards. We started off on a week on week off basis for general cleaning which had to include a proper clean of the bathroom and kitchen. He was just incapable of doing this and half the time the bathroom looked worse than before he'd attempted to clean it. Shit down the pan was also a bone of contention for both of us.

    So after a few months of him driving me mad I suggested if he didn't want to do it or was unwilling to up his game we should get a cleaner. So we did, she cost 60 quid a week and would come round every weekday and the place was immaculate.

    Problem was she was a smoking hot Romanian girl and my penis ended up inside her on a few occasions which made her feel awkward and also made me realise the novelty of shagging a fit Romanian bird wore off when she was round my house every day regardless and choosing penis over the cleaning on many occasions yet still holding her hand out for her dough, which then becomes a whole other type of employment and one that I thought was best veered away from. So sadly that stopped and I eventually beat some decent housekeeping standards into my housemate

    I do 90% of the cleaning indoors now, my wife leaves too much stuff just lying around so I'm always putting things away and staying on top of stuff, her way is more 'let it build up through the week and waste your weekend doing housework that could have been done during the working week little and often'

    I don't find cleaning therapeutic but if it has to be done it has to be done to very high exacting standards which I'm not sure I could afford

    @Dazzler21 likes cleaning, maybe get him round, just dont stick your pe........well you know.......!
    I don't like cleaning!
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    Carter said:



    I do 90% of the cleaning indoors now, my wife leaves too much stuff just lying around so I'm always putting things away and staying on top of stuff,

    She's probably just too busy with something or other...
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    We had one a few years back, who was a friend of the MIL. Mrs GA made us tidy up before she came! FFS.
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    We had one for a few months around my wife being heavily pregnant and the first few months with twins, but not something we could sustain longer.

    Good luck to those who do / can. Not convinced I’m wholly comfortable of someone in my property alone who you don’t really know.

    You don't brass much then mate?
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    Not me! Work full time, as does Mr RRH, but not something I've considered and don't think it sets a good example to my children to expect others to clean up after ourselves. Is my house a shiny show home? No, it generally looks 'lived in' but to me that makes my house my home.
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    We had one for a few months around my wife being heavily pregnant and the first few months with twins, but not something we could sustain longer.

    Good luck to those who do / can. Not convinced I’m wholly comfortable of someone in my property alone who you don’t really know.

    Yeah I was like this when the missus wanted a cleaner so I ended up Insisting they couldn’t do the bedrooms, promising to do them myself.
    So now we have a pristine house and really dusty bedrooms oops.
    I may have to renegotiate...
    Ours is weekly, £25 and I think she’s dragged it out to 2-hrs a trip once or twice but it’s usually less. She’s good tho...
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    edited October 2018

    Ok, time to fess up. I'm a cleaner who does mainly commercial big cleans but occasionally will do someones flat/house.
    One day we were asked to do an end of tenancy clean of a flat in Beckenham. The lady asked for two men as she wanted furniture moved and the carpets cleaned underneath.
    Soooo, the first thing to move was am MFI chest of drawers, of which the bottom drawer fell apart as soon we touched it. Needless to say it was her toy drawer, dildoes of all shapes and sizes, butt plugs the lot.
    Of the 4 hours we were there i probably spent two carefully putting the drawer back together with blu tack and some sellotape we had. The lady came back, inspected the work, paid us and we were out of there like a rocket.

    That drawer was rigged and she hoped the two men would be up for some games!
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    Carter said:


    So after a few months of him driving me mad I suggested if he didn't want to do it or was unwilling to up his game we should get a cleaner. So we did, she cost 60 quid a week and would come round every weekday and the place was immaculate.

    Problem was she was a smoking hot Romanian girl and my penis ended up inside her on a few occasions

    A truly horrible problem! :-)
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    I feel hugely morally conflicted about it... but... yes, we have a cleaner. She comes once a fortnight and has been very worthwhile. With both the wife and I working full time in jobs that can have unpredictable schedules, a toddler, and various other time commitments cleaning just always ended up sliding down the priority list. We'd keep the bathrooms and kitchen at non cholera inducing levels, but that was about it. This forces us to have a good tidy up at least every couple of weeks and just keeps the general grime down to acceptable levels. Doesn't cost us much and has lifted the weight of one responsibility from our shoulders.
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    No cleaner - my husband and I share the cleaning.
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    Carter said:

    When I had a housemate he drove me up the wall with his questionable cleanliness standards. We started off on a week on week off basis for general cleaning which had to include a proper clean of the bathroom and kitchen. He was just incapable of doing this and half the time the bathroom looked worse than before he'd attempted to clean it. Shit down the pan was also a bone of contention for both of us.

    So after a few months of him driving me mad I suggested if he didn't want to do it or was unwilling to up his game we should get a cleaner. So we did, she cost 60 quid a week and would come round every weekday and the place was immaculate.

    Problem was she was a smoking hot Romanian girl and my penis ended up inside her on a few occasions which made her feel awkward and also made me realise the novelty of shagging a fit Romanian bird wore off when she was round my house every day regardless and choosing penis over the cleaning on many occasions yet still holding her hand out for her dough, which then becomes a whole other type of employment and one that I thought was best veered away from. So sadly that stopped and I eventually beat some decent housekeeping standards into my housemate

    I do 90% of the cleaning indoors now, my wife leaves too much stuff just lying around so I'm always putting things away and staying on top of stuff, her way is more 'let it build up through the week and waste your weekend doing housework that could have been done during the working week little and often'

    I don't find cleaning therapeutic but if it has to be done it has to be done to very high exacting standards which I'm not sure I could afford

    From cleaning your gaff to cleaning your pipes. It's all cleaning.
    why shouldn't she get weighed out?
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    We had one when I lived at home and I've seriously been considering getting one for my own place recently, just because I don't want to spend the free time that I do have cleaning. I can only imagine those saying they enjoy cleaning or that it's relaxing don't have a job where they work particularly long hours.
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    Not me! Work full time, as does Mr RRH, but not something I've considered and don't think it sets a good example to my children to expect others to clean up after ourselves. Is my house a shiny show home? No, it generally looks 'lived in' but to me that makes my house my home.

    What? So by that logic I assume you do all your own plumbing, your own electrics and empty your own rubbish bins?
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    We're getting one soon. Moving into a bigger place with a baby on the way in a few weeks, won't have the desire to clean. One of the builders said his wife does it for £10ph so will probably go for that, not going to get it any cheaper.
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    Nobody cleans to relax mate, that's insane!

    I clean as fastidiously as I do because I would find it impossible to relax in a messy home once I'd finished my days bullshit for my employer

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    Be interesting to know how many have a contract and pay their cleaners cash in hand.
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    MrOneLung said:

    Be interesting to know how many have a contract and pay their cleaners cash in hand.

    Not many I'd imagine, I know at least 5 girls who do part time cleaning and I can guarantee it's all cash in hand.

    I know one girl who runs a proper cleaning company and all is legit, it wasn't initially though

    I don't begrudge people doing stuff like this for cash, it becomes a problem if things get stolen or doors don't get locked and the culprit was some Doris or Dave who did some cleaning for a score as they would be harder to pin down and prosecute or claim home insurance against than a VAT paying firm
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    I feel hugely morally conflicted about it... but... yes, we have a cleaner. She comes once a fortnight and has been very worthwhile.

    Spend a bit more time on foreplay, be a bit more generous a lover and that will increase her frequency thus alleviating the moral conflict somewhat.
    Does that work then? Asking for a friend
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    I doubt Doris or Dave would exceed the VAT threshold on a score an hour.
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    Carter said:

    When I had a housemate he drove me up the wall with his questionable cleanliness standards. We started off on a week on week off basis for general cleaning which had to include a proper clean of the bathroom and kitchen. He was just incapable of doing this and half the time the bathroom looked worse than before he'd attempted to clean it. Shit down the pan was also a bone of contention for both of us.

    So after a few months of him driving me mad I suggested if he didn't want to do it or was unwilling to up his game we should get a cleaner. So we did, she cost 60 quid a week and would come round every weekday and the place was immaculate.

    Problem was she was a smoking hot Romanian girl and my penis ended up inside her on a few occasions which made her feel awkward and also made me realise the novelty of shagging a fit Romanian bird wore off when she was round my house every day regardless and choosing penis over the cleaning on many occasions yet still holding her hand out for her dough, which then becomes a whole other type of employment and one that I thought was best veered away from. So sadly that stopped and I eventually beat some decent housekeeping standards into my housemate

    I do 90% of the cleaning indoors now, my wife leaves too much stuff just lying around so I'm always putting things away and staying on top of stuff, her way is more 'let it build up through the week and waste your weekend doing housework that could have been done during the working week little and often'

    I don't find cleaning therapeutic but if it has to be done it has to be done to very high exacting standards which I'm not sure I could afford

    You wouldn’t happen to still have her number would you, my friend could do with a cleaner....
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    edited October 2018
    I did have a cleaner for about 6 months around 10 years ago.

    It was entirely justifiable:

    I am lazy and because I had some disposable income I thought I was more important than I actually was and paying someone to clean my house fuelled that delusion. A bit like cocaine.
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    Mrs GA made us tidy up before she came! FFS.

    I had a girlfriend like that.
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    Riviera said:

    Yep we have a cleaner and a gardener.


    No chauffeur?
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    Yes we have a cleaner once a week.

    I spend all my time cleaning out chicken coops so the last thing I want to do is clean my own coop.
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