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Conference (and video) calls
Chizz
Posts: 28,346
As there's a fans forum conference call (FFCC) taking place right now, it might be interesting to see if anyone has any tales of how conference calls or video conferencing has gone wrong.
Conference calls often have a dull and painful process you have to go through prior to connecting, whereby you are asked to record your name, by means of introduction and for the organiser to be able to do a roll-call afterwards by playing back the participant list. That was too dull and boring for me. So, I always used to introduce myself as someone else. A childish and pointless process, but I used to enjoy saying clearly, when asked by the electronic system for my name, "Stan Laurel", "Archbishop Desmond Tutu", "Prince Arthur Nzeribe", "Canaan Banana", etc... Until, one time, I dialled into a C-level call, in order to present my latest project to the international board of the company I was working in and, as I connected, having gone through the process of giving a false name, an alert played to all participants, in an electronic voice: "Attention please, "the late Arthur Askey" has just joined the call".
What conference calling shenanigans can other Lifers share?
Conference calls often have a dull and painful process you have to go through prior to connecting, whereby you are asked to record your name, by means of introduction and for the organiser to be able to do a roll-call afterwards by playing back the participant list. That was too dull and boring for me. So, I always used to introduce myself as someone else. A childish and pointless process, but I used to enjoy saying clearly, when asked by the electronic system for my name, "Stan Laurel", "Archbishop Desmond Tutu", "Prince Arthur Nzeribe", "Canaan Banana", etc... Until, one time, I dialled into a C-level call, in order to present my latest project to the international board of the company I was working in and, as I connected, having gone through the process of giving a false name, an alert played to all participants, in an electronic voice: "Attention please, "the late Arthur Askey" has just joined the call".
What conference calling shenanigans can other Lifers share?
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Comments
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I was working from home in my last job one afternoon and was on a project that I'd been locked away in an office for a couple of months at work with another bloke. He was a top lad and had a right laugh together.
Anyway we'd been calling each other all day back and forth with updates etc then on one occasion late in the afternoon I saw his number coming up and out of boredom and to wind him up answered it "Kaplan kebab house, what can I get you?."
There was a deadly pause of about 5 seconds before I heard the Director of the project say "That's how he's answering calls now is it" and some muffled voices. My mate came on the line and said "Hi, it's me....erm...yeah...I've got x,x,x,x, and x with me" and he reeled of the 5 senior members of the project team who checked in now and then including a senior partner at the firm and a couple of other senior bods.
Was half tempted to see it through and tell them that they'd got the wrong number and if they didn't want a lamb sheesh then they could get off my line. Didn't though and just blagged through it and cracked on.
Tried to put my business game on but my shoulders were going up and down line a jackhammer as i tried to stifle a fit of hysterics. Fortunately I was in the comfort of laying on my bed whereas my work pal was trying to stifle his laughter in a room full of unamused suits.
Left a few months after that.
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Been on a couple where I've heard participants snoring. Called one out once by asking him a question, no answer, tried again, no answer. Was 3 in the morning where he was so I suppose it shouldn't have been a surprise but he didn't stay on the project long. I often used to do them in my undercrackers or dressing gown - embarrassing when you realise it's a video conference:-)
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Good thing you werent knocking one out to a bit of porn thenchurch-lane said:Been on a couple where I've heard participants snoring. Called one out once by asking him a question, no answer, tried again, no answer. Was 3 in the morning where he was so I suppose it shouldn't have been a surprise but he didn't stay on the project long. I often used to do them in my undercrackers or dressing gown - embarrassing when you realise it's a video conference:-)1 -
Forgot I was due to be on an afternoon call with boss / whole team after a very long lunch. He called to ask if I was dialing in, which I then did. Told everyone I was in a Costa to account for the noise, and bullshitted my drunken way through.
you had to be there....4 -
I regularly have one to one Skype video calls. When we have more than two of us on the call we go audio only. It was mentioned to me late into a long call with a few other people that I may not want to be sitting there picking my nose,,,as I'd left the video on foolishly! Ooops.1
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One of my mates told me some stories about his ex boss - who was a bit of a Berk - and conference calls.
On one call he blurted something out about them considering shutting one of the offices and making the people there redundant, not realising that those people were all on the call.
Another time they dialled in and he starts by saying "Hello".
Hello was the reply.
Who's that? he said.
Who's that? came the reply.
My mate cracked up and had to tell him that he was talking to his own echo.
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