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You know you're getting old when.
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Just put a reminder on your phone.AFKABartram said:You spend hours wondering whether it’s the green bin or the brown bin the next day and get annoyed your neighbours haven’t put theirs out yet to give you a steer0 -
you need to pitch these jokes a bit higher to get a LOLDavo55 said:
They are a bit flat at the moment.1 -
when you see that snickers advert and think the Elton John bit was better1
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When Scotland get thumped and it doesn’t surprise you.0
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You know when you are old when you remember ladies wearing stockings was no big deal.1
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I always thought it was a big deal, and I'm old!usetobunkin said:You know when you are old when you remember ladies wearing stockings was no big deal.
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You get the hump when they start selling mince pies in Sainsbury’s in September0
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When you have to time your run to the lavi to perfection or you end up cleaning up yourself in the shower afterwards.0
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@ricky_otto does not use a doctor.shine166 said:You spend monday morning at the doctors with a finger up your arse.0 -
Wearing glasses becomes the norm rather than the exception. I used to need them for driving and reading; twice this week I've used them to see what I'm having for dinner.2
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You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle.2
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Stig said:You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle.
No wa*kers wrist?2 -
No......but he’s working on it.DaveMehmet said:Stig said:You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle.
No wa*kers wrist?3 -
By sitting on my hand I can pretend someone else has got a pain in it.DaveMehmet said:Stig said:You don't know how you got your aches and pains. I used to have three recurring twinges. I was so certain how I got them that I gave them names: My Footballers Knee, caused by falling awkwardly and damaging a ligament, my Spanish Elbow caused by spanking it at the bottom of a waterslide and chipping a bone and my Motorbike Shoulder caused by injudicious use of the front brake. Nowadays I get so many aches and pains at random points on my body with no obvious cause that I'd need a binomial classification system to give them all a handle.
No wa*kers wrist?1 -
I've got World Cup knee.
England scored and I celebrated by jumping up and hanging from one of the iron roof strut in O'Neill's Bromley.
When I dropped it smarted a bit a and has never been the same since.
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When you become eligible for free prescriptions .0
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And you need themBlackheathboy said:When you become eligible for free prescriptions .
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when you know you have made a mistake typing in a password, but you carry on anyway - just in case.5
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You think you know where the clitoris is, but just can't put your finger on it.5
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when you remember them before the name change
https://groceries.morrisons.com/webshop/product/Marathon-Retro-Edition-By-Snickers-4-X-417G/491021011?param=marathon&from=search
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... compared to you, Darren Stevens is a mere boy1
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When you wake up in the morning and one eyebrow hair has grown 3 inches overnight.8
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The wife has put a reminder on the phone, but it keeps falling off.guinnessaddick said:
Just put a reminder on your phone.AFKABartram said:You spend hours wondering whether it’s the green bin or the brown bin the next day and get annoyed your neighbours haven’t put theirs out yet to give you a steer1 -
When the man in the garage says , can you open the bonnet and you’ve no idea where the catch is .0
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When you need different glasses for reading and distance.
When you put your glasses down for a moment, forget where and can't see well enough to find them. Then realise you pushed them up on to the top of your head.2 -
You go in a pub get funny looks when you ask for a glass with your bottle of beer. You just get a blank look when you ask for a whisky mac.2
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Or a light and bitter.Dippenhall said:You go in a pub get funny looks when you ask for a glass with your bottle of beer. You just get a blank look when you ask for a whisky mac.2 -
You only know three artists on the shortlist for the Mercury music prize.2
