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What's everyone doing tonight?

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  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    EricBanterna said:
    Redvalleyeast said:
    ForeverAddickted said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk off without being caught.
    Try a dangerw@nk and call your wife as your doing it... See if you can get done before she catches you!! 
    Mate of mines regular dangerw@nk was knocking one out in bed whilst his Mrs was asleep next to him. Never got caught apparently. So he said anyway.
    I say random women's name during sex to see if the missus is paying attention. 

    I have the bruises to prove she does. 
    Why not really catch her by surprise and say random men’s names. That will give her something to think about. 
  • Scoham
    Scoham Posts: 37,364
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.


    no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps. 
    What flavour crisps?
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    Scoham said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.


    no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps. 
    What flavour crisps?
    Pot Noodle...
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited January 2021
    Scoham said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.


    no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps. 
    What flavour crisps?
    The new walkers ones. “Dennis  Nilsen human remains flavour” not bad to be fair. 
  • Scoham
    Scoham Posts: 37,364
    ricky_otto said:
    Scoham said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.


    no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps. 
    What flavour crisps?
    The new walkers ones. “Dennis  Nilsen human remains flavour” not bad to be fair. 
    Decent, might have to go out and get a pack or two.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    ricky_otto said:
    Scoham said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.


    no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps. 
    What flavour crisps?
    The new walkers ones. “Dennis  Nilsen human remains flavour” not bad to be fair. 

  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,552
    Just had a Chinese now about to watch The Wheel.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Falling asleep. I used to think I was tired all the time with twins. And then Covid come along!
  • palarsehater
    palarsehater Posts: 12,296
    Just smashed a curry couple of bottles of cobra and currently watching the aviator 
  • killerandflash
    killerandflash Posts: 69,835
    Been watching The Masked Singer. The person voted out tonight was

    Glenn Hoddle


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  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,655
    Chizz said:
    I am off to a cocktail bar tonight for pre-dinner drinks, then dinner at a restaurant, followed by open mic night at my local pub, if I can get in. 
    Interesting.  I pictured you sinking deep into a leather chair, g and t in hand, in a gentlemen’s club.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    Scoham said:
    ricky_otto said:
    Scoham said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.


    no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps. 
    What flavour crisps?
    The new walkers ones. “Dennis  Nilsen human remains flavour” not bad to be fair. 
    Decent, might have to go out and get a pack or two.
    You won’t regret it. They are like the Smiths  Salt and shake packets - except the salt could be anything ranging from anus to a bit of brain. Keeps you guessing and much more intriguing than guessing who the masked singer is. 
  • Chizz
    Chizz Posts: 28,329
    edited January 2021
    Blackheathen said:
    Chizz said:
    I am off to a cocktail bar tonight for pre-dinner drinks, then dinner at a restaurant, followed by open mic night at my local pub, if I can get in. 
    Interesting.  I pictured you sinking deep into a leather chair, g and t in hand, in a gentlemen’s club.

  • EricBanterna
    EricBanterna Posts: 1,740
    ricky_otto said:
    EricBanterna said:
    Redvalleyeast said:
    ForeverAddickted said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk off without being caught.
    Try a dangerw@nk and call your wife as your doing it... See if you can get done before she catches you!! 
    Mate of mines regular dangerw@nk was knocking one out in bed whilst his Mrs was asleep next to him. Never got caught apparently. So he said anyway.
    I say random women's name during sex to see if the missus is paying attention. 

    I have the bruises to prove she does. 
    Why not really catch her by surprise and say random men’s names. That will give her something to think about. 
    Haha definitely giving that a go. 
  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,655
    Perfect Chizz, perfect.  Very good. I forgot to mention a copy of the Financial Times on your lap.
  • sillav nitram
    sillav nitram Posts: 10,157
    Whisky-A-Go-Go New York
  • usetobunkin
    usetobunkin Posts: 2,179
    Roast Dinner and Chateau Neuf du Pape, Apple Crumble, Cognac then gout!
  • Miserableoldgit
    Miserableoldgit Posts: 21,458
    Watching Palace lose.
    *hopefully 
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Falling asleep again!
  • Redrobo
    Redrobo Posts: 11,330
    Miserableoldgit said:
    Watching Palace lose.
    *hopefully 
    That would be Palace without Zaha. They will certainly not win!
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  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 51,981
    Thought I'd stay in tonight.
  • Redrobo
    Redrobo Posts: 11,330
    Miserableoldgit said:
    Watching Palace lose.
    *hopefully 
    Glad you reminded me. 3-0 down now. Tee hee 🙂
  • Redrobo
    Redrobo Posts: 11,330
    4-0. Really enjoying the game.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    Redrobo said:
    4-0. Really enjoying the game.
    Got even better when Ayew went down begging for a penalty that got ignored!!
  • Redrobo
    Redrobo Posts: 11,330
    They are NOT a one man team. 😂
  • Ormiston_Addick
    Ormiston_Addick Posts: 8,810
    Redvalleyeast said:
    ForeverAddickted said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk off without being caught.
    Try a dangerw@nk and call your wife as your doing it... See if you can get done before she catches you!! 
    Mate of mines regular dangerw@nk was knocking one out in bed whilst his Mrs was asleep next to him. Never got caught apparently. So he said anyway.
    True story - and no it’s NOT me.

    My mates wife made friends with a radical feminist that was married to this bloke called Clint - he was an air conditioning engineer.

    Anyway, after she had their second kid she decided she did not want to have sex with him any more for some feminism related reason - can’t recall the exact details.

    Anyway poor old Clint - he was only mid 30s - was getting balls bluer than the sky and needed some relief so when he woke up in the middle of the night with a boner he decided he needed to take matters into his own hands.

    Unfortunately he must have been bashing the bishop rather too enthusiastically as he woke up his wife who went into an absolute rage about how she felt violated and - here’s the kicker - she called the fucking Police!

    So the Old Bill turn up at about 3am and end up persuading her that you can’t really prosecute a bloke for having a Tommy in his own bed but advised the mortified Clint that he should find somewhere more private next time!
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    Ormiston_Addick said:
    Redvalleyeast said:
    ForeverAddickted said:
    ricky_otto said:
    I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk off without being caught.
    Try a dangerw@nk and call your wife as your doing it... See if you can get done before she catches you!! 
    Mate of mines regular dangerw@nk was knocking one out in bed whilst his Mrs was asleep next to him. Never got caught apparently. So he said anyway.
    True story - and no it’s NOT me.

    My mates wife made friends with a radical feminist that was married to this bloke called Clint - he was an air conditioning engineer.

    Anyway, after she had their second kid she decided she did not want to have sex with him any more for some feminism related reason - can’t recall the exact details.

    Anyway poor old Clint - he was only mid 30s - was getting balls bluer than the sky and needed some relief so when he woke up in the middle of the night with a boner he decided he needed to take matters into his own hands.

    Unfortunately he must have been bashing the bishop rather too enthusiastically as he woke up his wife who went into an absolute rage about how she felt violated and - here’s the kicker - she called the fucking Police!

    So the Old Bill turn up at about 3am and end up persuading her that you can’t really prosecute a bloke for having a Tommy in his own bed but advised the mortified Clint that he should find somewhere more private next time!
    Yeah Yeah, sort of thing any offender would always say ;)

    So where did you decide to do it next time

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