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You know you're getting old when.

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  • When you have to get up 30 minutes before your normally meant too so you can do your stretches to loosen your body up before even attempting to get out of bed.
  • edited September 2021
    When you have to get up 30 minutes before your normally meant too so you can do your stretches to loosen your body up before even attempting to get out of bed.
    That's called a w*nk mate
  • Music in Oak after game seemed ridiculous. So loud, with heavy bass, that none of bar staff could hear orders. I feel a lot older than mid-30s right now. 
  • You watch Charlton and haven’t a clue what those professional footballers are actually trying to do…
  • Music in Oak after game seemed ridiculous. So loud, with heavy bass, that none of bar staff could hear orders. I feel a lot older than mid-30s right now. 
    Addicts to victory?
  • You realise that neither of the US Open women's finalists were born when the September 11 attacks took place.
  • The name Nicki Manaj comes up on the news and you say Nicki who?

    Further research tells me she has just told 22 million followers that her cousin's, friend's testicles swole up after getting a jab.

    Sometimes I think I'm on the very fringe of society and slipping further away every single day.  :#    

  • The name Nicki Manaj comes up on the news and you say Nicki who?

    Further research tells me she has just told 22 million followers that her cousin's, friend's testicles swole up after getting a jab.

    Sometimes I think I'm on the very fringe of society and slipping further away every single day.  :#    

    I've only just heard of him n all mate
  • The name Nicki Manaj comes up on the news and you say Nicki who?

    Further research tells me she has just told 22 million followers that her cousin's, friend's testicles swole up after getting a jab.

    Sometimes I think I'm on the very fringe of society and slipping further away every single day.  :#    


    I think Prof. Chris Witty put her in her place yesterday at the briefing.
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  • When you mess up your order at a McDonald’s drive thru. 
  • When, within 30 seconds, you can correctly guess 10 of the 11 players that Charlton fielded against Huddersfield in 1964, but you can only remember about two of the team that played in a game two years ago.
    Can I have a go?
    Rose, Hewie, Kinsey, Bailey, Haydock, Tocknell, Kenning, Matthews, Firmani, Edwards, Glover.
    I think we played that side in almost every game, with Peacock, Durandt getting in occasionally.
    I couldn't name the 2 years ago team either!
  • When, within 30 seconds, you can correctly guess 10 of the 11 players that Charlton fielded against Huddersfield in 1964, but you can only remember about two of the team that played in a game two years ago.
    Can I have a go?
    Rose, Hewie, Kinsey, Bailey, Haydock, Tocknell, Kenning, Matthews, Firmani, Edwards, Glover.
    I think we played that side in almost every game, with Peacock, Durandt getting in occasionally.
    I couldn't name the 2 years ago team either!
    The side I first remember clearly was Duff, Sewell, Hewie, Tocknell, Hinton, Bailey, Lawrie, Matthews, Leary, Edwards, Kinsey. Fred Lucas filled in for anyone who was injured.
  • When, within 30 seconds, you can correctly guess 10 of the 11 players that Charlton fielded against Huddersfield in 1964, but you can only remember about two of the team that played in a game two years ago.
    Can I have a go?
    Rose, Hewie, Kinsey, Bailey, Haydock, Tocknell, Kenning, Matthews, Firmani, Edwards, Glover.
    I think we played that side in almost every game, with Peacock, Durandt getting in occasionally.
    I couldn't name the 2 years ago team either!
    The side I first remember clearly was Duff, Sewell, Hewie, Tocknell, Hinton, Bailey, Lawrie, Matthews, Leary, Edwards, Kinsey. Fred Lucas filled in for anyone who was injured.
    Ah, that was a season or 2 before.
    Leary left in summer 1962
  • You p*** yourself.
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  • edited September 2021
    You’re walking across hungerford bridge after a good night out and you pass two geordies, one male, one female and the female is bitching about these singers like Tina Turner who try and sound like they are American and can’t do it..
  • edited September 2021
    You’re walking across hungerford bridge after a good night out and you pass two geordies, one male, one female and the female is bitching about these singers like Tina Turner who try and sound like they are American and can’t do it..
    OK, I know you young ’uns think she’s Swiss…
  • When you have works dinner and drinks tonight so you shoot off early from work, so you can get some kip before you meet the lads.
    Just in cab home now, there's still life in the old  dog yet. Although think the missus is guna kick that out of me when I walk through the door.
  • When you’re watching Antiques Road Show and items come up that you remember seeing in the shops when you were a kid.
    Went the Barcelona’s football museum and they have boots under glass similar to the ones I used to play in and kids were laughing. They had a pair of Adidas with the three stripes in blue - the first colour used on a football boot apparently. I remember so wanting a pair of them. Eventually got a pair second hand.
  • I bet Elton John remembers with pleasure being referred to as 'hip' in the 70s. (old speak for cool, sexy, awesome).

    The word has a whole new meaning for him now since he fell awkwardly on a hard surface causing him much pain. His 2021 tour of the UK and Europe has had to be delayed by nearly two years.  So the hip that gave lip to his zip, is now causing him nothing but gyp. 

    I feel for him.  


  • You have to have a camera inserted up your bum twice in a week, all trace of dignity gone.
  • You have to have a camera inserted up your bum twice in a week, all trace of dignity gone.
    Elton may look forward to it.
  • edited September 2021
    When someone overtakes you at 71 mph on a motorway and you mumble 'mad idiots' under your breath.
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