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Best bit of advice you've ever been given when starting out in life?

Stuart_the_Red
Stuart_the_Red Posts: 1,851
edited August 2009 in Not Sports Related
My Uncle's tip to me was:

If in doubt, always pick the one with the big tits.

It's worked for me.
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Comments

  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,633
    Might as well, had, as wished you had.
  • Miserableoldgit
    Miserableoldgit Posts: 21,458
    Drink.............
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    "If your drowning them puppies, can I have the one with the brown nose?"
  • SparrowsLane
    SparrowsLane Posts: 169
    My old man said follow West Ham
    I said F*** off B******* You're a C***
  • CHG
    CHG Posts: 4,529
    Don't look so hard on everything.
  • wickford
    wickford Posts: 863
    When getting married...
    I asked a bloke at work, in his sixties, what his recipe for a long and happy marriage was.
    He told me that he had sat down with his wife and worked out a structure for decision making to avoid conflict.
    She said that she would decide where they lived, where he worked, when they would have kids and what car they would drive.
    He should deal with any really important decisions.
    I asked him what the really important ones could be.
    He replied 'fortunately, none of those have ever come up'!

    :-)
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    In all seriousness, always told my son some basic rules

    Respect your elders
    Be polite with people until they no longer deserve it
    Dont be a bully
    Dont drop litter
    Dont Thieve
    Dont eat yellow snow
  • Chizz
    Chizz Posts: 28,338
    Find a woman you don't like and buy her a house. In the long run it's quicker and cheaper than getting married and divorcing.
  • SpicedAddick
    SpicedAddick Posts: 737
    "Happy Eighteenth birthday son, get out of my house"
  • MrLargo
    MrLargo Posts: 7,989
    My mate's dad told him when he was in his mid teens "Remember son, everyone's a c*nt".

    He still stands by that opinion now, miserable sod.
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  • suzisausage
    suzisausage Posts: 11,502
    If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all
  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,651
    You've got two ears and one mouth.....

    Do as you would be done by...
  • BlackForestReds
    BlackForestReds Posts: 17,952
    There are several windows at the bookies that take-in money..but only one that pays the stuff out.
  • March51
    March51 Posts: 3,256
    Never talk badly ('badmouth') anyone, it'll always come back to you and cause problems! Got that from the old man on my first day of work, along with: keep nails clean and boots shiny.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,291
    From when I was on teacher training - always be nice to the support staff (lab-techs, photocopy room, librarian, school secretaries etc). If they like you they're more likely to be willing to go out of their way to help you if you're having a last minute panic about something, and if you piss them off they have (plausibly deniable) ways of making your life hell. The same is true of most office jobs I think; piss off the receptionists, admin and IT at your peril.
  • Cuff
    Cuff Posts: 308
    edited August 2009
    Always get your round in
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,850
    [cite]Posted By: Cuff[/cite]Always get your round in

    That's a good un, coming from the tightest man on earth!









    *steps back and waits for the bite
  • Kap10
    Kap10 Posts: 15,572
    breathe you bastard!
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,825
    Don't believe anything until is on the OS
  • heavenSE7
    heavenSE7 Posts: 1,282
    You can do anything if you put your mind to it..

    My problem is that I don't know what my mind is.
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  • NorthStandUltra
    NorthStandUltra Posts: 2,540
    Don't eat yellow snow.....


    Also, if a ball runs into the road, slow down as a child usually follows it.
  • Cuff
    Cuff Posts: 308
    Exclude Off_it from all future rounds you buy!
  • addick1965
    addick1965 Posts: 5,092
    [cite]Posted By: DA9[/cite]In all seriousness, always told my son some basic rules

    Respect your elders
    Be polite with people until they no longer deserve it
    Dont be a bully
    Dont drop litter
    Dont Thieve
    Dont eat yellow snow

    I got told most of the above except the snow bit and 1965jr is being told the same.
  • Cardinal Sin
    Cardinal Sin Posts: 5,233
    The late great Brian Clough was once asked this question by a schoolboy who wrote to a dozen or so celebrities at the same time via the News of the World (unknown to them). Cloughie's r
    written advice was, "son, if you expect a reply you should always enclose a stamp- addressed- envelope." You've got to love Cloughie.
  • jimmymelrose
    jimmymelrose Posts: 9,753
    Large advised me not to cry when I fell over:

    'You never see Derek Hales cry do you?'

    Couldn't argue with that.
  • Amos on the wing
    Amos on the wing Posts: 1,802
    It's nice to be nice- Advice given to me from a woman who could only speak 4 words of english
  • Maglor
    Maglor Posts: 702
    My dad told me when you get married volunteer to do the dishes and then break her best crokery

    Worked the first time round but this time I had to buy a dishwasher
  • Stone
    Stone Posts: 3,026
    Again on the marriage theme.

    My mate told me "never give a time when you'll be back home, then you can never be late".
  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,561
    don't ask people on internet boards for advice on girls
  • uncle
    uncle Posts: 4,209
    My uncle told me to HATE Arsenal HATE Tottenham REALLY HATE Chelsea and REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE Millwall. I listened to him a lot. He spoke a lot of sense

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