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You know you're getting old when.
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Porridge is 50.
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…You have succumbed to buying a hot water bottle because your feet are too cold when going to bed. 🥸0
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so am I now!!!Stig said:Porridge is 50.0 -
Flew back into England last night, today damp chilly touring the estate and looking how the plants have coped, seem instantly to be full of aches and pains.0
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Should have got one of the staff to do it.jonseventyfive said:Flew back into England last night, today damp chilly touring the estate and looking how the plants have coped, seem instantly to be full of aches and pains.5 -
Your ears get bigger and your dick gets smaller - so Alan Bennett says4
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Draw cord chino1
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When your daughter sign's your birthday card and adds "not long now dad". Cheeky cow7
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You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.1
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Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
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I had to google it 🥸2
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I've logged onto Charlton Life and am getting adverts for "Prepaid Direct Cremations". Not bloody likely, I'm not paying up front for that when there's a roll of bin bags under the kitchen sink. What is a 'direct' cremation anyway? Is there an indirect cremation where they can only set light to you after the flame has touched someone else?2
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wouldn't that be offside?Stig said:I've logged onto Charlton Life and am getting adverts for "Prepaid Direct Cremations". Not bloody likely, I'm not paying up front for that when there's a roll of bin bags under the kitchen sink. What is a 'direct' cremation anyway? Is there an indirect cremation where they can only set light to you after the flame has touched someone else?8 -
You're definitely not the last person. When I googled it I also found this.Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.
Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle
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Heads off to Sainsburys Charlton.Raith_C_Chattonell said:
You're definitely not the last person. When I googled it I also found this.Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.
Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle 4 -
Courgette and Aubergine, you fancy a bit of Ratatouille!Raith_C_Chattonell said:
You're definitely not the last person. When I googled it I also found this.Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.
Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle 3 -
Pack of hot dogs a a bottle of gentleman's relish? Run a mile.3
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When you’re told that a crown you are having replaced is over 60 years old, tooth knocked out by a right hook whilst playing rugby at school. I suppose I can’t complain after all that time, but unfortunately the root is knackered so will almost certainly replaced by an implant.0
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.... when you both have a free flu jab appointment today
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...and there's actually only one of you.charlton4ever said:.... when you both have a free flu jab appointment today 11 -
Apparently, an inverted cauliflower means you fancy Charlton to win and damaged sprout means you still hate RolandRaith_C_Chattonell said:
You're definitely not the last person. When I googled it I also found this.Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.
Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle 3 -
And we all know what a pot noodle and a box of tissues means.Raith_C_Chattonell said:
You're definitely not the last person. When I googled it I also found this.Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.
Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle 7 -
…and don’t mention the custard 🤓Karim_myBagheri said:
And we all know what a pot noodle and a box of tissues means.Raith_C_Chattonell said:
You're definitely not the last person. When I googled it I also found this.Arsenetatters said:You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal.
An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.
Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle 2 -
Yesterday I bought milk, bread, tomatoes and potatoes I must be a supermarket sex machine.4
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I hope it wasn’t a French stick.iaitch said:Yesterday I bought milk, bread, tomatoes and potatoes I must be a supermarket sex machine.0 -
Or plum tomatoes0
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The check out lady looked at my shopping and said 'you're single aren't you?'Arsenetatters said:
I hope it wasn’t a French stick.iaitch said:Yesterday I bought milk, bread, tomatoes and potatoes I must be a supermarket sex machine.
'Yes' I said 'did you deduce that from the small amount of shopping I had?'
'No' she said 'you're an ugly bastard'.24 -
Seeing an ad from a distance for Age (Concern) Scotland on the train and thinking "I must check that out when I get off the train"5
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...and my pavlovian response to getting home from work. Head to change into house clothes and whenever my trousers are half way down I suddenly need to pee in the next 2 seconds. Haven't gotten into my head that I should visit a toilet before I leave anywhere just yet. Always found it strange that my Mum and Dad would ask to visit the facilities just before they left friends' houses. Seemed strange to think that their thanks for a nice night was to urinate or defecate, but I'm beginning to realise why now!2
