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Things that make you feel old

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  • Arsenetatters
    Arsenetatters Posts: 5,975
    You have no  idea what ‘substack is’ and being disappointed with moshing you don’t bother googling it. 
  • BlackfenLen
    BlackfenLen Posts: 169
    Going swimming at Fairfield with the family and finding out it's an "inflatable" session and spending 50mins face planting the water so many times that I actually stopped 15mins from the end of the session feeling like I needed a HIA
  • red10
    red10 Posts: 834
    Fell over on the stairs kicking a balloon during the playoff final, some kind soul picked me up. Old gits rule, if attacked, can't run so will fight to the death !!!!
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,680
    I received a cold phone call today from a guy who wanted to find out if I was eligible for a 50% discount on new windows. 

    The word eligible always confuses me with its similarity to illegible.  Anyway he was a motormouth and needed stopping so I shouted out, 'I don't want to be legible', obviously opting for something between the two and somehow sounding a bit like Frank Spencer at the same time.



    He got the message 
  • red10
    red10 Posts: 834
    Raith_C_Chattonell said:
    I received a cold phone call today from a guy who wanted to find out if I was eligible for a 50% discount on new windows. 

    The word eligible always confuses me with its similarity to illegible.  Anyway he was a motormouth and needed stopping so I shouted out, 'I don't want to be legible', obviously opting for something between the two and somehow sounding a bit like Frank Spencer at the same time.



    He got the message 
    I find fcuk off seems to do the trick. Thought cold calling was illegal but I might be wrong. Used to get so many spam calls after moving and having a new phone number but thankfully they seemed to have dried up a bit.

  • ross1
    ross1 Posts: 50,974
    If you have a Sky landline then get Sky shield, free of charge. Stops all unnecessary calls
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,024
    Arsenetatters said:
    You have no  idea what ‘substack is’ and being disappointed with moshing you don’t bother googling it. 
    Not knowing either, I took the plunge into Google. You were right to anticipate disappointment, it's incredibly mundane.

    Here's what I have gathered: Substack is the brand name of an online platform for publishing stuff. If you want to read the stuff that's being published on it, you can visit their website or download a dedicated app. If you want to publish stuff there, you can open your own 'Substack'. There seems to be a lot of debate online about the difference between a Substack and blog. I'm not sure I've gotten to the bottom of it, but looking at their website, it seems that it's probably easier to incorporate other media into your writing and make it all look pretty. It also seems like the company are promoting themselves amongst professional and wannabe-professional writers rather than just anyone in the general public. In short, It's the brandname of a nice bloglike thing. Sorry, for any disappointment this post has caused.
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,680
    ross1 said:
    If you have a Sky landline then get Sky shield, free of charge. Stops all unnecessary calls
    It is supplied by Sky, but I don't have a talk contract with them so I'm not illegible legible eligible. 
  • IdleHans
    IdleHans Posts: 10,968
    Arsenetatters said:
    You have no  idea what ‘substack is’ and being disappointed with moshing you don’t bother googling it. 
    Mehmet must have been worried. "Substack? I've never done that!"

  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,628
    edited July 24
    Having a kick about, with a group of primary school age kids. Haven't played for over 20 years, brain thinks that not a problem, my 60 year old body not responding to actions that once came naturally to me.
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  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,601
    guinnessaddick said:
    Having a kick about, with a group of primary school age kids. Haven't played for over 20 years, brain thinks that not a problem, my 60 year old body not responding to actions that once came naturally to me.
    I packed up playing when I was 50, 7 years ago. God knows what I’d do to myself if I played now. Did an hour in the gym earlier (nothing too strenuous) and am achy and creaky enough after that.
  • iainment
    iainment Posts: 8,039
    Stumbling, cracking my shin and getting a golf ball sized haemotoma.

    Especially as when I played football the amount of times I got hacked on the shin with no effect.
  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 581
    DaveMehmet said:
    guinnessaddick said:
    Having a kick about, with a group of primary school age kids. Haven't played for over 20 years, brain thinks that not a problem, my 60 year old body not responding to actions that once came naturally to me.
    I packed up playing when I was 50, 7 years ago. God knows what I’d do to myself if I played now. Did an hour in the gym earlier (nothing too strenuous) and am achy and creaky enough after that.
    tried walking football, and couldn't believe quite how crap I was- no ability to trap, pass or shoot- all gone.
  • SporadicAddick
    SporadicAddick Posts: 6,855
    edited July 25
    To give some of you hope. I stopped playing at 33. I’ve just started again at 52 (7 a side on quarter pitch, Astro). Most others in their 30s and I don’t look too out of place.

    ps the +20 year old Copa Mundials still doing a job...
  • CharltonKerry
    CharltonKerry Posts: 2,960
    Having to renew my driving license for a second time because I’m over 70
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,024
    gringo said:
    DaveMehmet said:
    guinnessaddick said:
    Having a kick about, with a group of primary school age kids. Haven't played for over 20 years, brain thinks that not a problem, my 60 year old body not responding to actions that once came naturally to me.
    I packed up playing when I was 50, 7 years ago. God knows what I’d do to myself if I played now. Did an hour in the gym earlier (nothing too strenuous) and am achy and creaky enough after that.
    tried walking football, and couldn't believe quite how crap I was- no ability to trap, pass or shoot- all gone.
    I've never played it, but can't imagine for a second I'd be ay good. I couldn't trap, pass or shoot, even in my prime. The only qualities I brought were energy and aggression. It must be ridiculously hard to go flying in when you're not allowed to move beyond walking pace.  
  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 581
    Stig said:
    gringo said:
    DaveMehmet said:
    guinnessaddick said:
    Having a kick about, with a group of primary school age kids. Haven't played for over 20 years, brain thinks that not a problem, my 60 year old body not responding to actions that once came naturally to me.
    I packed up playing when I was 50, 7 years ago. God knows what I’d do to myself if I played now. Did an hour in the gym earlier (nothing too strenuous) and am achy and creaky enough after that.
    tried walking football, and couldn't believe quite how crap I was- no ability to trap, pass or shoot- all gone.
    I've never played it, but can't imagine for a second I'd be ay good. I couldn't trap, pass or shoot, even in my prime. The only qualities I brought were energy and aggression. It must be ridiculously hard to go flying in when you're not allowed to move beyond walking pace.  
    ah but people cheat and walk v fast.
  • thai malaysia addick
    thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,334
    gringo said:
    Stig said:
    gringo said:
    DaveMehmet said:
    guinnessaddick said:
    Having a kick about, with a group of primary school age kids. Haven't played for over 20 years, brain thinks that not a problem, my 60 year old body not responding to actions that once came naturally to me.
    I packed up playing when I was 50, 7 years ago. God knows what I’d do to myself if I played now. Did an hour in the gym earlier (nothing too strenuous) and am achy and creaky enough after that.
    tried walking football, and couldn't believe quite how crap I was- no ability to trap, pass or shoot- all gone.
    I've never played it, but can't imagine for a second I'd be ay good. I couldn't trap, pass or shoot, even in my prime. The only qualities I brought were energy and aggression. It must be ridiculously hard to go flying in when you're not allowed to move beyond walking pace.  
    ah but people cheat and walk v fast.
    I'd prefer ambling football
  • jonseventyfive
    jonseventyfive Posts: 3,353
    Ozzy popping off , slowly all my old favourites are going.
  • ValleyGary
    ValleyGary Posts: 37,980
    edited July 25
    That I started this thread nearly 13 years ago! 😫
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  • fat man on a moped
    fat man on a moped Posts: 932
    Found out today I can pay in cheques via my banking app.
    How technology has changed! 
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,680
    fat man on a moped said:
    Found out today I can pay in cheques via my banking app.
    How technology has changed! 
    When did that change?


  • CharltonKerry
    CharltonKerry Posts: 2,960
    After a major foot operation I started my recovery which do far has been around 6 months, now been told I got another 12 months before I’m back to normal. Prior to my operation I couldn’t walk 500 steps for around 2 years. Then yesterday I’m told by my consultant that the new pain in my hip is because I’ve basically forgotten how to walk correctly and I need physio to re teach me. He added with a smile that I will be learning what I learnt over 70 years ago when I was 2. 
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,647
    Just booked a prostate exam 👆😃
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,680
    edited August 27
    Whenever I hear mention of Luton Airport I silently say, 'No Luton Airport' ala Lorraine Chase from 1976.

    https://youtu.be/8ydVbn0gMk4
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,024
    Baldybonce said:
    Just booked a prostate exam 👆😃
    "Don't worry, it's quite usual to get an erection", said my doctor.
    "But I've not got an erection", I replied.
    "No, but I have", he confessed. 
  • Baldybonce
    Baldybonce Posts: 9,647
    Stig said:
    Baldybonce said:
    Just booked a prostate exam 👆😃
    "Don't worry, it's quite usual to get an erection", said my doctor.
    "But I've not got an erection", I replied.
    "No, but I have", he confessed. 
    In that case...
    I said "Dr, your ring hurts"
    She said "that's my watch"
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,680
    Baldybonce said:
    Stig said:
    Baldybonce said:
    Just booked a prostate exam 👆😃
    "Don't worry, it's quite usual to get an erection", said my doctor.
    "But I've not got an erection", I replied.
    "No, but I have", he confessed. 
    In that case...
    I said "Dr, your ring hurts"
    She said "that's my watch"
    This is a true story. 

    My urologist was half way through my examination when he said, "It doesn't feel too bad, but if you want a second opinion I could always shove another finger up".

    (To be clear, this was the first and last time that a man with his finger up my arse made me giggle).


  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,363
    Baldybonce said:
    Stig said:
    Baldybonce said:
    Just booked a prostate exam 👆😃
    "Don't worry, it's quite usual to get an erection", said my doctor.
    "But I've not got an erection", I replied.
    "No, but I have", he confessed. 
    In that case...
    I said "Dr, your ring hurts"
    She said "that's my watch"
    You don't want to hear, "Look no Hands"
  • Raith_C_Chattonell
    Raith_C_Chattonell Posts: 5,680
    When someone slows allowing you to cross the road.

    You give a cheery wave, hop off the kerb and trot across ... except you haven't actually hopped off the kerb and you haven't actually trotted anywhere.  All you've managed to do is invent a new candidate for the ministry of silly walks and arrived at the other side in a slower time than if you'd walked normally.  Dunno why I do that  :/.

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