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I had to lift this, it made me laugh...(from Frankie Valley)
WSS
Posts: 25,079
DID YOU KNOW - In the following seven games last season, this is how Mister Darren Bentleman the Gentleman fared:
1) West Ham (a) - failed to score.
2) Man Utd (h) - failed to score.
3) Bolton (h) - failed to score.
4) Chelsea (a) - failed to score.
5) Pompey (h) - scored once.
6) Villa (a) - failed to score.
7) Arsenal (h) - failed to score.
This makes a grand total of ONE goal from seven games. And as we Addicks all so clearly recall, he ended up scoring a stonking total of EIGHTEEN Premiership goals last season - which was enough to get him on the back-up list for the England World Cup campaign as assistant deputy stop-gap stand-in emergency striker, behind a motley selection of bean-poles blingers cripples and schoolchildren.
Fast forward to 2006-2007. So far, in those same seven fixtures this season Benty has thumped in a magnificent FOUR goals, compared to just one last season. Which means, if you extrapolate (nice word, that) his current hit-rate across the whole season, our Darren is going to score - wait for it - approximately SEVENTY-TWO goals in the Premiership.
Dont believe me? Well do the math. Eighteen multiplied by four. Readers, we are going to clean up this year! Benty is going to single-handedly win us the Prem AND the Cup - and probably the Fair Play League and the Programme of the Year Award as well.
And even if he doesnt, no way are we going down - NO WAY! Answer me this: when was the last time that a team got relegated with a man scoring seventy-two goals in a season for them? I'll tell you, friends - its never happened. And its not going to happen this season either.
Positive thinking, you see? Beat that, Monica!
1) West Ham (a) - failed to score.
2) Man Utd (h) - failed to score.
3) Bolton (h) - failed to score.
4) Chelsea (a) - failed to score.
5) Pompey (h) - scored once.
6) Villa (a) - failed to score.
7) Arsenal (h) - failed to score.
This makes a grand total of ONE goal from seven games. And as we Addicks all so clearly recall, he ended up scoring a stonking total of EIGHTEEN Premiership goals last season - which was enough to get him on the back-up list for the England World Cup campaign as assistant deputy stop-gap stand-in emergency striker, behind a motley selection of bean-poles blingers cripples and schoolchildren.
Fast forward to 2006-2007. So far, in those same seven fixtures this season Benty has thumped in a magnificent FOUR goals, compared to just one last season. Which means, if you extrapolate (nice word, that) his current hit-rate across the whole season, our Darren is going to score - wait for it - approximately SEVENTY-TWO goals in the Premiership.
Dont believe me? Well do the math. Eighteen multiplied by four. Readers, we are going to clean up this year! Benty is going to single-handedly win us the Prem AND the Cup - and probably the Fair Play League and the Programme of the Year Award as well.
And even if he doesnt, no way are we going down - NO WAY! Answer me this: when was the last time that a team got relegated with a man scoring seventy-two goals in a season for them? I'll tell you, friends - its never happened. And its not going to happen this season either.
Positive thinking, you see? Beat that, Monica!
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Comments
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i think he is brilliant.
after doing a bit of writing myself, churning it out day in day out is so hard, yet to remain funny makes it even tougher.
keep it up Frankie0 -
Agreed, he's a legend.0
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Should probably put in the link: Frankie Valley (Article in Full)0
