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One thing that will get you into Heaven and one thing that will get you into hell
Henry Irving
Posts: 85,211
Keep it light
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Comments
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Heaven - If you mean the nighclub, a pair of leather chaps should do it
Hell - Season ticket to Palace0 -
Hell - Licking the shoelaces of your fellow commuters
Heaven - offering to rub cocoa butter into the stretchmarks of fatties0 -
heaven - random acts of unsolicited kindness (although admittedly some of them are more a case of enlightened self interest, like paying some kid's bus fare as it was less hassle than waiting for them to finish arguing with the driver about why their oyster card wasn't working)
hell - releasing inflated condoms out of our form window on the last day of school, that then drifted out over the convent wall into the road.0 -
Booing the team will get you into hell judging by some of the reactions on this forum.
Clapping the team after a very poor performance should see you through the pearly gates though.0 -
Heaven - being nice to little, fluffy kittehs
Hell - Telephone voting for an act on X Factor0 -
heaven - being generally polite and having decent manners.
hell - laughing at tourettes sufferers (sorry to any ****ers on here who may have it).0 -
Heaven - Saying thank you to Rachel after a marathon sex session
Hell - Not saying thank you to Rachel after a marathon sex session0 -
Heaven- lending a mate a condom in a drunken hour of need in The Venue
Hell- not telling him for 9 months you'd put a pin prick in it.0 -
[cite]Posted By: paulbaconsarnie[/cite]
hell - laughing at tourettes sufferers (sorry to any ****ers on here who may have it).
ADMIN MESSAGE
"1. Bad language
Our soft policy of asking people nicely to avoid swearing is falling on deaf ears. Equally, replacing the odd letter or two with a * doesn't automatically make it ok."
Heaven & Hell - pointing out other peoples wrong doings by being a pedantic c***0 -
[cite]Posted By: oohaahmortimer[/cite][cite]Posted By: paulbaconsarnie[/cite]
hell - laughing at tourettes sufferers (sorry to any ****ers on here who may have it).
ADMIN MESSAGE
"1. Bad language
Our soft policy of asking people nicely to avoid swearing is falling on deaf ears. Equally, replacing the odd letter or two with a * doesn't automatically make it ok."
posters0 - Sponsored links:
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chap0
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is that for real?0
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Heaven - stopping at a crossing for an old lady with loads of shopping
Hell - running her down when she's halfway across[cite]Posted By: kigelia[/cite]Hell - Licking the shoelaces of your fellow commuters
Heaven - offering to rub cocoa butter into the stretchmarks of fatties
You are soooo weird :-)0 -
[cite]Posted By: aliwibble[/cite]heaven - random acts of unsolicited kindness (although admittedly some of them are more a case of enlightened self interest, like paying some kid's bus fare as it was less hassle than waiting for them to finish arguing with the driver about why their oyster card wasn't working)
hell - releasing inflated condoms out of our form window on the last day of school, that then drifted out over the convent wall into the road.
Ali, are you into RAoKing then? I try my best most weeks to do something. Most people think I'm mad but hey ho.
Heaven - see above.
Hell - let's be honest the last few years following CAFC would've inspired Dante to add another circle if he were about and an addick.0 -
Heaven ..Helping an old lady with her bags.... Hell....Nicking her purse out the bag while helping her0
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I sincerely believe our mortal coil is Hell but it's about variations of...
So, going down further into Hell: be an extreme substance abuser.
Towards Heaven: Take the ascetic path and don't allow your senses to dominate you.0 -
I can not belive that either heaven or hell exist, well not at least until I see it on the OS.0
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Heaven - Doing what Eric Cantona did.
Hell - Showing any sypathy for Palace in their hour of need.0 -
Heaven: Always willing to do favours for people and im generous
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Hell: was a lil ***BEEP***** at school and in general when i was younger0 -
Stealing Danny Baker's ideas from his radio program Mr Irving?0
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[cite]Posted By: stonemuse[/cite]Stealing Danny Baker's ideas from his radio program Mr Irving?
As always, as always : - )0 -
Heaven: Working your way up the ladder in record time at ITV management and cancelling Loose Women
Hell: Finding Patrick Kielty remotely amusing0 -
Well as Henry started this thread it has to be:
Heaven: referring to the away end as the Jimmy Seed stand
Hell: calling it the South stand.0 -
[cite]Posted By: eaststandmike[/cite]Well as Henry started this thread it has to be:
Heaven: referring to the away end as the Jimmy Seed stand
Hell: calling it the South stand.
Is the right answer ; - )
I should have said things wot you have actually done in your lives but hey too late now.0 -
Ooops mine was too heavy.
How about, slowing down to let someone out, or make to a right hand turn across you.
Preventing some tosser from cutting in after he jumps the queue at traffic lights.0 -
Heaven shooting Jeremy Kyle
Hell watching Jeremy Kyle0 -
Only unofficially, and when the opportunity presents itself.[cite]Posted By: Bournemouth Addick[/cite]Ali, are you into RAoKing then? I try my best most weeks to do something. Most people think I'm mad but hey ho.
Seth, and here was I thinking it'd be your obsession with goats.[cite]Posted By: seth plum[/cite]Heaven shooting Jeremy Kyle
Hell watching Jeremy Kyle0 -
Right one more to add here....
Heaven: Walking drunk girls back to their house and not taking advantage (very hard but done several times)
Hell: I shat in my mates bath once when paraletic worse thing is he lives with his parents and brother oops, this has done the rounds with all my mates so no harm in mentionning on here lol0
