Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Best Jokes from Edinburgh Festival..

Sir Chrissy
Sir Chrissy Posts: 609
edited August 2010 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Not overly keen on one liners..

I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places

Comments

  • Sussex_Addick
    Sussex_Addick Posts: 741
    Bo Burnham:

    “Do you like impressions?” (Cue some general audience agreement.)

    “‘Why?’” (Cue some audience befuddlement.)

    “That was Socrates.”
  • creepyaddick
    creepyaddick Posts: 6,152
    The Tommy Cooper one liners played on an advert on radio recently made me chuckle

    I had a dream about eating a 10lb marshmallow, when I woke up, the pillow had gone!
  • Friend Or Defoe
    Friend Or Defoe Posts: 18,071
    Another Tommy Cooper one.

    I broke my hand and asked the doctor if I would be able to play the piano after it's healed, he said yes, I said that's good as I couldn't before!
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    Absolute Tommy Cooper classic, Defoe!
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,590
    My mother in law said to me "I hope I get to dance on your grave"

    "So do I" I replied "I'm being buried at sea"
  • Eddie Firmani
    Eddie Firmani Posts: 650
    Favourite TC joke - Went to the doctor and said I've got a bad leg, what can I do? He said limp.
  • clivey_hero
    clivey_hero Posts: 328
    Man walks into a Bar...............Oooowww umpphh , it was an iron bar
    or
    TC to doctor " I keep thinking I am a dog"
    Doctor " jump up on to the couch "
    TC " sory I'm not allowed on there "


    oouch
  • Friend Or Defoe
    Friend Or Defoe Posts: 18,071
    Another Tommy Cooper one.

    He's walking down the street with 2 large sacks of sugar and gets stopped by a police officer.

    PC: What's in those sacks?
    TC: Sugar, one for my tea and one for my coffee.

    The officer then wacks him over the head with his truncheon

    TC: Ouch, what was that for?
    PC: A lump for your coco!

Categories

“Marketplace”