A Frenchman Went to the Lavatory
(Tune - Le Marsellaise)
A Frenchman went to the lavatory,
To enjoy a jolly good shit;
He took his coat and trousers off,
So that he could revel in it;
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before
Ou est le papier, ou est le papier;
Monsieur, monsieur, j'ai fait 'manure';
Ou est le papier!
C'MON ENGLAND
Jock Strap Ensemble 
