Got pissed at a party, fell down the stairs and peeled top of a finger like it was a banana on something that was sticking out of the wall...that hurt.
Crashed my push bike into an upturned car on a blind corner (he'd taken it too fast and flipped)...landed on the upturned and extremely hot engine block / exhaust - melted the skin away on my left knee and right hand, knocked two teeth through my lip, snapping them off inside the lip and split my chin open...not a happy day - especially as it was my first time back in the saddle after two weeks in bed with flu.
Not self inflicted as such, but have cracked ribs, broken nose and dislocated knee playing football (not at the same time)
Considering how many football matches I have played over the last 20 years in mens football I have been incredibly lucky. In what must be not far off 1000 games the worst ones I can remember are a broken foot, a broken nose & a torn thigh muscle.
But a little worse than that was the Eight teeth I had to have extracted in one sitting due to my new teeth not being able to push my Milk teeth out. I can still remember my mouth filling up with Blood every 2 or three minutes & not knowing whether to spit or swallow....oh dear I am sure someone is gonna edit this post to make it look worse :-)
never done any major self inflicted damage other than a dislocated toe during a 3000m steeplechase when I was 17.
I did a self-inflicted comedy accident once by cycling into a parked car. Was chatting to a mate whilst riding along and went straight into the back of it.
[cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]Considering how many football matches I have played over the last 20 years in mens football I have been incredibly lucky. In what must be not far off 1000 games the worst ones I can remember are a broken foot, a broken nose & a torn thigh muscle.
But a little worse than that was the Eight penises I had to have extracted in one sitting. I can still remember my mouth filling up with semen every 2 or three minutes & not knowing whether to spit or swallow
A whole bunch of scars on my head from falling over/drunk/ritolin child behaviour... Broke my hand after stupidly punching the back of some guys head at school... Hit myself in the face with a baseball bat when I was a nipper - it bounced of a football i threw it at and fractured my cheekbone.
But my mate was shagging his bird when we were in Thailand and he felt something "pop" down stairs...
He had basically ripped that bit of skin from his japs eye to his foreskin. He screamed, she screamed... more from the amount of blood than anything I think. After my bird and I went to investigate and stopped our hysterics, we took him to hospital. Not before getting a sticky panty liner that birds use when the painters are in to stick his 'piece' to his belly to stem the flow of blood. Hilarious! I've not seen a man walk in John Waynes footsteps quite so well before or since. For a good few days after he pi$$ed in absolute agony. I've just asked him by mail and he's still got a scar...
[cite]Posted By: fazza[/cite]
He had basically ripped that bit of skin from his japs eye to his foreskin. He screamed, she screamed... more from the amount of blood than anything I think.
I've done this and the amount of blood was horrendous. To be honest, i didnt realise as i was drunk and thought i was just partaking in some bloodsports. When i did realise it was a shock but no pain. Missus got a glass of water which i dunked the little fella in for an hour or so, then wrapped him up for a while.
no doctors or anything and its fine now, just a tiny bit of excess skin.
Thank you so much for that chaps, that was actually what I was after when I started the thread. Horrendous stories that make you shudder at the thought!
A mate of mine who is in the army and goes by a couple of mantras of 'fat chicks need lovin' too' and 'if I haven't pulled by two I'm going fat'.
This will explain how he ended up in a neck brace for a week or so after a larger lady say on his face and he found himself unable to breath. Being a pretty strong bloke he tried to lift her off usiong his neck. Hence neck brace and a great deal of pain everytime he moved his head!!
Cant really compete with any of the above, but here's my war wounds....
Fell off my bike when I was 13, broke both front teeth, broke my nose, and cracked 2 ribs, took most of the skin off the right side of may face and both hands.
14 or maybe 15, got my nose broken (again) on the train back from the Brighton game by one of our own...he was walking through the carriage nicking money off the lads and I refused to empty my pockets...(By the way...if youre out there sunshine...wanna try it again now?)
Went up the back of a Granada on my motorbike when I was a youngster...the bike landed on me and the engine was still running......my arm was trapped under the rear wheel....it did a really good job of stripping the skin off...
Took a slice out of my big toe...broke it at the same time and ended up with the most painful septic toe you can imagine and no way of being able to strap it up.....yuk...just the thought has made me nauseous.
Got my feet sunburnt in France....was so bad I couldnt wear shoes or walk more than a few paces for nearly a fortnight.
Tore the ligaments and tendons in my right forearm whilst plastering some walls in my house many years ago...ended up in a plaster cast for 9 weeks and to this day cant grip things very well with my right hand...no rude comment please :-)
crashed a quad bike in zante a few years ago come off it took all the skin off my arm from my knuckles up to my shoulder and cut my eye open had 12 sitches all done by a lovely greek nurse.
the biggest damage was the cost of the bike and the medical fees.
Comments
Crashed my push bike into an upturned car on a blind corner (he'd taken it too fast and flipped)...landed on the upturned and extremely hot engine block / exhaust - melted the skin away on my left knee and right hand, knocked two teeth through my lip, snapping them off inside the lip and split my chin open...not a happy day - especially as it was my first time back in the saddle after two weeks in bed with flu.
Not self inflicted as such, but have cracked ribs, broken nose and dislocated knee playing football (not at the same time)
But a little worse than that was the Eight teeth I had to have extracted in one sitting due to my new teeth not being able to push my Milk teeth out. I can still remember my mouth filling up with Blood every 2 or three minutes & not knowing whether to spit or swallow....oh dear I am sure someone is gonna edit this post to make it look worse :-)
I did a self-inflicted comedy accident once by cycling into a parked car. Was chatting to a mate whilst riding along and went straight into the back of it.
you're so disgusting Ketman
(sorry girls and guys)
Broke my hand after stupidly punching the back of some guys head at school...
Hit myself in the face with a baseball bat when I was a nipper - it bounced of a football i threw it at and fractured my cheekbone.
But my mate was shagging his bird when we were in Thailand and he felt something "pop" down stairs...
He had basically ripped that bit of skin from his japs eye to his foreskin. He screamed, she screamed... more from the amount of blood than anything I think.
After my bird and I went to investigate and stopped our hysterics, we took him to hospital. Not before getting a sticky panty liner that birds use when the painters are in to stick his 'piece' to his belly to stem the flow of blood. Hilarious!
I've not seen a man walk in John Waynes footsteps quite so well before or since. For a good few days after he pi$$ed in absolute agony. I've just asked him by mail and he's still got a scar...
no doctors or anything and its fine now, just a tiny bit of excess skin.
thought i'd share.
A mate of mine who is in the army and goes by a couple of mantras of 'fat chicks need lovin' too' and 'if I haven't pulled by two I'm going fat'.
This will explain how he ended up in a neck brace for a week or so after a larger lady say on his face and he found himself unable to breath. Being a pretty strong bloke he tried to lift her off usiong his neck. Hence neck brace and a great deal of pain everytime he moved his head!!
Tuesday 22nd May 2007 - CL Charity Match at The Valley
Worst injury I've ever had purely because of its timing, I was gutted :-(
Fell off my bike when I was 13, broke both front teeth, broke my nose, and cracked 2 ribs, took most of the skin off the right side of may face and both hands.
14 or maybe 15, got my nose broken (again) on the train back from the Brighton game by one of our own...he was walking through the carriage nicking money off the lads and I refused to empty my pockets...(By the way...if youre out there sunshine...wanna try it again now?)
Went up the back of a Granada on my motorbike when I was a youngster...the bike landed on me and the engine was still running......my arm was trapped under the rear wheel....it did a really good job of stripping the skin off...
Took a slice out of my big toe...broke it at the same time and ended up with the most painful septic toe you can imagine and no way of being able to strap it up.....yuk...just the thought has made me nauseous.
Got my feet sunburnt in France....was so bad I couldnt wear shoes or walk more than a few paces for nearly a fortnight.
Tore the ligaments and tendons in my right forearm whilst plastering some walls in my house many years ago...ended up in a plaster cast for 9 weeks and to this day cant grip things very well with my right hand...no rude comment please :-)
the biggest damage was the cost of the bike and the medical fees.