me and a mate hired bungle and george off of rainbow costumes for a new years eve party. didn't need a coat for the walk home, but got some weird looks.
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn`t know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear sir, Please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he received another parcel and note:
Dear sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Dear sir, Please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ar*e and go as a toffee apple.
Another man writes to a fancy-dress costumier stating he is going to a fancy-dress party, and would they please send him a medium fig-leaf as he wishes to attend as Adam with his wife as Eve !
Two days later a fig-leaf arrives which he returns as 'too small'.
This goes on for several days, with larger and larger fig-leaves being returned, until, in annoyance the man writes:
"I am totally dissatisfied with your company. Please send me a fig-leaf sufficient to cover my requirements !!"
A few days later, he opens a letter from the firm....
"Dear Sir. The last fig-leaf we sent you is the largest one we stock. If that does not cover your requirements, we suggest you stick the end of your requirements up your a*rse and go as a petrol pump !!!"
Comments
From what i've seen, it sounds like you've already got your costume on....... :-)
Actually, a picture might help.
My mate Harry always used to go in a comical Nazi costume. He's not worn it for a couple of years
Looking for a hot date, Badger? You'll be telling us next your virile, looking for fun, prefer blondes.
You won't fine the Personal columns on here.
Actually, why not, Barts?
Can't you set up a 'Charlton Life' dating agency?
Then, like Cilla on Blind Date, you could get invited to 'Charlton Life' weddings?
Havent you got one that he could borrow? One careful owner...
;-)
No, you go as Badger and I'll go as Toad of Toad Hall.
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn`t know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear sir,
Please find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he received another parcel and note:
Dear sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
Dear sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup.
Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ar*e and go as a toffee apple.
Another man writes to a fancy-dress costumier stating he is going to a fancy-dress party, and would they please send him a medium fig-leaf as he wishes to attend as Adam with his wife as Eve !
Two days later a fig-leaf arrives which he returns as 'too small'.
This goes on for several days, with larger and larger fig-leaves being returned, until, in annoyance the man writes:
"I am totally dissatisfied with your company. Please send me a fig-leaf sufficient to cover my requirements !!"
A few days later, he opens a letter from the firm....
"Dear Sir. The last fig-leaf we sent you is the largest one we stock. If that does not cover your requirements, we suggest you stick the end of your requirements up your a*rse and go as a petrol pump !!!"