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Offside Rule Explained For Girlies

Addickted
Addickted Posts: 19,456
edited January 2008 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.

Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also & is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you.If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong to be in front of the other shopper!

NOW DO YOU GET IT?!!

Comments

  • WSS
    WSS Posts: 25,070
    But what about if your other best friend is in front of the person in front of you but at the checkout next to you.

    Could it be argued that your other best friend could interfere with the catch?
  • Weegie Addick
    Weegie Addick Posts: 16,516
    But Addickted, you haven't described the shoes - what brand are they, how high are the heels, what colour are they? How can you possibly expect us to be interested unless we know all the important details?
  • C_f_W
    C_f_W Posts: 1,433
    What about, in the event the friend throws the purse too far and the shop assistant goes to catch it but doesn't, and she 'parries' it back to you?

    Or if the friend who throws the purse is standing between you and the shop assistant and/or the shopper in front of you?
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    What happens is the shop assistant goes out back, and is off the shop floor when the purse is thrown ?
  • WSS
    WSS Posts: 25,070
    Or what happens if the queue is really big and you are actually standing in the half of the shop that is not the actual checkout area when the purse is thrown?

    or

    If your best friend runs in front of you and throws it BACK to you?
  • Chris_from_Sidcup
    Chris_from_Sidcup Posts: 35,987
    [cite]Posted By: WSS[/cite]Or what happens if the queue is really big and you are actually standing in the half of the shop that is not the actual checkout area when the purse is thrown?

    or

    If your best friend runs in front of you and throws it BACK to you?


    Ha ha you are far too obsessed with this thread about womens shoes!!
  • WSS
    WSS Posts: 25,070
    you have to look at these things though Chris.

    Say for example your friend throws the purse but you just let it go and it goes striaght to the cashier, would they still accept payment?
  • C_f_W
    C_f_W Posts: 1,433
    edited January 2008
    [cite]Posted By: Chris_from_Sidcup[/cite]
    Ha ha you are far too obsessed with this thread about womens shoes!!

    Dunno what you're talking about
  • suzisausage
    suzisausage Posts: 11,502
    A good tip:

    Go into the shop that has a Miss Bramble as the shop assistant. The Cashier at the end of the shop will pass her the cash box for her to distribute through the rest of the outlet, however, she's not very good at catching, and will usually drop it, thus gifting you a direct route to the cashier. Cha ching.
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    [cite]Posted By: WSS[/cite]But what about if your other best friend is in front of the person in front of you but at the checkout next to you.

    Could it be argued that your other best friend could interfere with the catch?

    They'd both be in-active so the purchase wouldn't be disallowed.
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  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    [cite]Posted By: AFKA Bartram[/cite]What happens is the shop assistant goes out back, and is off the shop floor when the purse is thrown ?

    In-active again.

    Where's Ledge when you need him?
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    [cite]Posted By: WSS[/cite]Or what happens if the queue is really big and you are actually standing in the half of the shop that is not the actual checkout area when the purse is thrown?

    You can't be offside if you're not in the checkout half of the shop.
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    [cite]Posted By: WSS[/cite]If your best friend runs in front of you and throws it BACK to you?

    You can't be offside from a throw in.
  • WSS
    WSS Posts: 25,070
    Thanks addickted - i'm now off to Clarks
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Well done Addickted, they got you on the back foot but you never buckled....
  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,552
    my wife went into Clarkes in Bexleyheath last Thursday evening and within five minutes, yes five minutes, actually came out with a pair of shoes. She has now worn the said shoes and won't be returning them because they are too small/too big/wrong colour/too expensive/too cheap/too tacky/too tarty/too flat/too high. Is this some sort of record ?
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    [cite]Posted By: suzisausage[/cite]A good tip:

    Go into the shop that has a Miss Bramble as the shop assistant. The Cashier at the end of the shop will pass her the cash box for her to distribute through the rest of the outlet, however, she's not very good at catching, and will usually drop it, thus gifting you a direct route to the cashier. Cha ching.

    Ha ha! The Titus Bramble fck-up factor. :o)
  • Stu_of_Kunming
    Stu_of_Kunming Posts: 17,116
    Why are you explaining this to woman, shouldnt they be off ironing and cooking, rather than watching football?

    I'm off to hide for the next few weeks, cya.
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,203
    [cite]Posted By: LargeAddick[/cite]my wife went into Clarkes in Bexleyheath last Thursday evening and within five minutes, yes five minutes, actually came out with a pair of shoes. She has now worn the said shoes and won't be returning them because they are too small/too big/wrong colour/too expensive/too cheap/too tacky/too tarty/too flat/too high. Is this some sort of record ?

    Five minutes is normally the time it takes Lady Irving just to look in a shoe shop window when the shop is shut although I admit that I love buying shoes and I don't care who knows it.
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: LargeAddick[/cite]my wife went into Clarkes in Bexleyheath last Thursday evening and within five minutes, yes five minutes, actually came out with a pair of shoes. She has now worn the said shoes and won't be returning them because they are too small/too big/wrong colour/too expensive/too cheap/too tacky/too tarty/too flat/too high. Is this some sort of record ?

    Five minutes is normally the time it takes Lady Irving just to look in a shoe shop window when the shop is shut although I admit that I love buying open-toed sandals and I don't care who knows it.

    Edited for accuracy ;-)
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  • carlsberg
    carlsberg Posts: 1,383
    lol titus bramble fuck up this week nearly caused a charlton dan piss pant moment!! very funny!

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