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Sunday Morning Headlines - Back Once Again (for the renegade master)

WSSWSS
edited February 2008 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
PARDEW COOKS UP A MASTER SAM

Selling Andy Reid on deadline day seems to have had no effect on Pardew's troops as they march on in their promotion quest. After deciding to rest Tuesday night's matchwinner Lloyd Sam from the starting line up, some people questioned Pardew's tactics. However after a double subsititution of Sam and new boy Cook for Ambrose and Thomas, the effect was almost immediate. Cook set up Varney with a sublime free kick on the 65th minute and Lloyd Sam sent in a fizzing cross on 72 minutes from the byline to give Andy Gray his first Charlton goal.

Comments

  • Putting the C*** in Scunthorpe

    scunthorpe Manager Nigel Adkins was fuming yesterday after being banished to the stands within 3 minutes of the game starting. He was incensed by the decision to award Charlton an early penalty and left the fourth official, the linesman, and to be honest anyone within two square miles, in no doubt what he thought. Adkins suggested that the referee whas a blind C*** and should stick his whistle here the sun doesn't shine.
  • edited February 2008
    CHARLTON SURVIVE THORPE PARK AND RIDE

    Alan Pardew was thanking his club's loyal fans in more ways than one following this scrappy affair at Glanford Park. Roared on by an enthusiastic and inebriated away following, it was the supporter efforts before the match that brought the bulk of the praise.

    "Our coach arrived in Scunthorpe in plenty of time, yet we hit bad traffic around the station area and sat there for an hour without moving" informed the Addicks boss. "At first a few fans emerged waving their beers, and finding the whole thing amusing, but after a while even they started to look concerned !"

    What followed next will go down as legend status in SE7 however.

    "The next thing i know, we're being waved by the fans to get off the coach" enthused Pardew. "Before we know it, we're being hoisted over the shoulders of these big fat drunken herberts who decided they would trot the two miles to the ground. It was like an alcoholic version of It's A Knockout."

    "Not only did it get us there just in time, the players were so relaxed from laughing so much. One drunken fan was insisting Madjid Bougherra was called Cutiegal or something, while everyone agreed they were thankful i sold Andy Reid !!"
  • ha ha ha ha
  • Snowy Scunthorpe stops Super Al soaring skywards
  • edited February 2008
    GRAY BALLS OF FIRE

    New signing Andy Gray showed exactly why Charlton boss Alan Pardew was will to fork out up to £2m for a 30-year old, with a stunning brace that secured Charlton the three points at Glanford Park.
  • edited February 2008
    YOUGA TO BE KIDDING ME

    Former Scunthorpe loanee Kelly Youga lashed in from 25 yards five minutes from time to take all three points back to South East London.
  • G'REIDY'

    Big bad Keano was forced to make a very early 1st half sustituition when the referee ruled that due to former charlton fat boy Andy Reid's ever expanding waste line the famous Sunderland stripes had actualy turned into one very large vertcal stipe of white reulting in a clash of colours with Saturdays opposition.
  • edited February 2008
    Weaving a Web of Woe

    Charlton snatched defeat from the jaws of victory yesterday as they fell to a 2-1 defeat at Scunthorpe. Keeper Nicky weaver was at fault for both goals. The Addicks were cruising when with five minutes to go Weaver inexplicably threw the ball into the net after claiming it at a corner. Two minutes later he did exactly the same thing. Alan Pardew refused to blame Weaver, saying that the keeping had very bad Arachnaphobia and the cross bar of the goal they were defending was home to a particularly hairy spider. Weavers actions were a result of the spider dropping down off the crossbar leading to what can only be described as a major freak out.
  • SCUNTHORPE IRONED OUT!!

    Charlton took a poor Scunthorpe to the cleaners on a bitterly cold afternoon at Glandford Park yesterday.They took the lead after 5 mins when Andy Gray was allowed to turn on the edge of the box to fire home.Charlton increased their lead in the 44th minute when Varney played a neat one-two with Lloyd Sam to rifle home from 10 yards out.

    And the scoring was complete when Ambrose fired home a free kick from 25 yards after Sam was brought down.
  • SNOW JOKE.

    Alan Pardew was speechless last night after Charlton's match at Scunthorpe was abandoned at half time, after seeing his team romp to a 4-0 lead.

    Cheered on by 1200 vociferous fans, goals from Youga, Ambrose and a brace from new boy Gray had put the Londoners into a commanding position.

    Pardew could only manage a stern "Boll*cks" at the post match press conference.

    Several fans were admitted to Scunthorpe general suffering from the effects of alcohol poisoning. They had apparently been awaiting the 19:00 train to London in a local hostelry.
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  • HEADS,SHOULDERS, VARNEYS AND TOES

    Luke Varney scored an incredible 4 goals in Charlton's 5-0 romp yesterday. He scored from a towering header after a pinpoint Ambrose corner and casually shouldered in a Andy Gray cut back. Somewhat luckily for his hat trick goal, Varmey's initial shot rebounded off of the post and hit him on the knee and went in. His fourth and final goal was a long reaching toe poke after an excellent run and cross from Kelly Youga.

    Cory Gibbs scored the fifth goal.
  • [cite]Posted By: WSS[/cite]HEADS,SHOULDERS, VARNEYS AND TOES

    Luke Varney scored an incredible 4 goals in Charlton's 5-0 romp yesterday. He scored from a towering header after a pinpoint Ambrose corner and casually shouldered in a Andy Gray cut back. Somewhat luckily for his hat trick goal, Varmey's initial shot rebounded off of the post and hit him on the knee and went in. His fourth and final goal was a long reaching toe poke after an excellent run and cross from Kelly Youga.

    Cory Gibbs scored the fifth goal.


    It was all believable until that last line......
  • edited February 2008
    REID ALL ABOUT IT!

    Charlton shrugged off the loss to Sunderland of their tubby midfield maestro and gave Scunthorpe a footballing lesson at a chilly Glanford Park yesterday afternoon.

    Zheng Zhi and Matty Holland grasped the midfield mantle left by Reid to inspire Charlton to a comfortable 2-0 victory.

    The first goal came after 30 minutes of sustained Charlton pressure and involved a flowing 5 man move down the left leaving Varney with a simple tap in from Ambrose's slide rule pass.

    Charlton continued to dominate but did not score again until the 75th minute, ironically after Weaver had made a brilliant save from Hayes with what proved to be Scunthorpe's best chance of the match. Kelly Youga scored against his former club* with an unstoppable missile from 25 yards out after playing a one two with the increasingly impressive Andy Gray.

    On this form Charlton will take some stopping in a very even Championship.


    *I know Scunthorpe is not Youga's former club but we are pretending to be journalists here!
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