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31 reasons why Mark Hudson is not on holiday.....

AFKABartramAFKABartram
edited June 2008 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
This time of the year is normally blighted by tabloid tales of drunken exploits by our footballing heros. But one player clearly not roasting his way around Vegas and Dubai is our very own Mark Hudson. You can't pick up a paper or click on a website without an exclusive interview with our new centre half. So why is he not swanning it in the sunshine, you tell me ?

1. Its asparagus season, and only a fool would leave the country now

2. He has balanced the last 12 months impressively by not only playing professional football, but studying a BTCE in Performing Arts at Orpington College. His exams begin on the Mon 16th June.

3. He is addicted to Grand Theft Auto, and being at home means he can play for up to 18hrs a day.

4. After telling Jordan he was leaving for us, Jordan arranged for his passport to be burnt, and he is still waiting the 6-8 weeks for a new one.

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    Oggy RedOggy Red
    5. He can't go anywhere yet. He's still looking to buy a wallet big enough for his signing-on fee.
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    trickytricky
    6. He couldn't afford it - once he had decided to leave Palace, moneybags Jordan stopped giving him £10,000 tips every time he headed it away in set piece training.
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    7. His parents are away and he is dog-sitting Pepsi and Shirley
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    8. He is first reserve on Big Borther, and will enter the house if the first two people evicted are male.
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    ShagShag
    8. He had to hand his passport in to the old bill during Euro 2008 as he is a known swiss hooligan
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    9. He don't like foreigners, which explains that when he signed, Bougherra was immediately linked with a move.
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    10. His band, Rock Hudson, are currently in the recording studios putting the finishing touches on their first album. They will be appearing live at the Danson Festival in early July.
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    nth_london_addicknth_london_addick
    edited June 2008
    11. He was so fed up playing for a no mark team in croyden that he wanted all to know that he hadnt wasted his career just blighted it by playing for a team of cheese rolls, and feels the need to spread the word of Hudson
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    GoonerhaterGoonerhater
    12. He is following in his name sakes foot steps and waiting fro the Gay Pride march in Sidney.
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    kigeliakigelia
    edited June 2008
    13. He actually suffers from severe agoraphobia. and spends most of his spare time on his sofa under a crochet blanket listening to old taped episodes of 'dick barton' that his great grandfather left him in his will,
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    adamtheaddickadamtheaddick
    14. He is trying his hardest to get used the vast difference in culture and language from croydon, he is currently taking speech lessons in Woolich-neese- and bexleyheathian. he hopes to be settled and fluent in time for august.
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    LedgeLedge
    edited June 2008
    15. before leaving palace he signed a 3 month contract with simon jordan to evenly apply piz buin fake tan
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    trickytricky
    edited June 2008
    16. He's far too busy collating evidence and statistics for his report and presentation to Steve Waggott in support of moving home fans to behind the goal in the Jimmy Seed stand.

    He said "Peter Varney couldn't be swayed, but I'm confident I can get through to Waggy. One of the main reasons I moved to The Valley was to put this motion through, and it was a big reason why Pards wanted me. I'm well known for my presentation skills because of my work with Iain Dowie. Advancing the Addicks was partly my idea, but Iain took all the credit. Thats why I rejected QPR in favour of Charlton."
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    kigeliakigelia
    16. He is a freelance copywriter and landed a job this summer writing slogans for a new ad campaign for a revolutionary new treatment for piles.
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    DaveMehmetDaveMehmet
    17. He's actually French and is waiting by the phone in case the national side's injury problem worsens.
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    GoonerhaterGoonerhater
    18. He is a mad keen gardener and has put his hols off waiting for the call from DA9 to sort his lawn out for him.
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    Oggy RedOggy Red
    20. Mark has just let me know that Steve Waggott will move home fans to the Jimmy Seed Stand, as hinted earlier - but don't let on to Peter Varney in his last couple of weeks.

    Mark said that it was vital that supporters continue to chant his name, as on his previous appearances at The Valley, he's always been cheered from that end only.

    Steve Waggot has confided to friends that the, ahem, South Stand will be renamed the "Mark Hudson Stand" as nobody on the Board or amongst current players & supporters of the club has a clue who this mythical Jimmy Seed is or was.
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    Red_Pete_in_DubaiRed_Pete_in_Dubai
    [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]12. He is following in his name sakes foot steps and waiting fro the Gay Pride march in Sidney.

    I never knew that Alan Hudson was gay?!?!?!
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    nth_london_addicknth_london_addick
    21. He was scared to death by the face of dowie during his talks to qpr and is unable to face the outside world without the chaperone of waggs
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    BlackForestRedsBlackForestReds
    22. After playing for Palace his move to Charlton feels like he's visiting a new country, hence no need to actually go abroad.
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    AFKABartramAFKABartram
    23. Because he is taking part in a new Channel 4 documentary called Life Swap, which a step further than Wife Swap and involves swapping jobs as well as partners.
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