Driven to the pikiest part of Chatham to drop 3 of them off and have to return at about 1:45 to pick them up again.
No beer for Len today as driving here there and everywhere. My dearly beloved approved all this and then opts out and leaves me to deal with it! First rule of parenthood: present a united front so I'm obliged to go along with it even though I disapprove of the dens of iniquity that what were discos in my day have become!
I've always adopted the attitude with all of mine (3 girls) that if I take them and pick them up then the only real risk to their safety is inside the Club.
The thing is though from a really selfish viewpoint when I could really murder a drink I can't have one! I then see how other parents carry on not knowing where their kids are and wonder if I'm a bad parent because I'm over protective. I think I'd rather that than the other though.
Ah well back to Jimmy Cliff and another glass of water1
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And hopefully even if your girls are a bit embarrassed about it now, they'll certainly appreciate what you did when they are a bit older and wiser.
Good on you Len
Ps. Just pray one of them doesn't walk out with Carter on their arm !!
As a relatively junior parent, my eldest (son) is 9 years old but I do have some issues now about protection fo my son which is challenging my wife and I greatly at present. My son is adopted and he has problems associated with this called an "attachment disorder". This results in challenging behaviour because he has a heightened sense of fear which can be uncontrollable, this affects his ability to learn, to socialise and makes him very volatile at times. We have to try to keep him calm and stable otherwise we get "fight and flight" type behaviour. I have recently managed, after a very long period of negotiation, to have him moved to a private school (at the Council/Gov'ts expense) which has specialist facilities and staff to help him to learn in a "safe" environment. In the long run this will be very good for him but in the short term, the change has de-stabilised him and on some occassions recenlty, he has run off from home. Most of the time he stays close to the house and eventually comes back in. Last week he ran off about 8.00pm and didn't come straight back. I went after him and tracked him to the local park where I found him mingling with kids and teenagers, drinking, smoking and god knows what else. Whilst he hadn't been there for very long, I was concerned for his safety (and of course he went off without permission). He was out of control and full of bravado. He refused to come with me and kept running off. I decided that I had to make a stand and naturally I need to enforce some control on him. I told him he had a choice, either he comes with me now, or I ring the Police and he'll have to come with them. He refused to come (didn't want to lose face I suppose), and therefore I walked back to my car and rang 999. Eventually a Police Community Support Officer arrived and he finally decided to come back. The Officer then spoke with him for 10 minutes or so (with me in attendance) pointing out that he was unsafe and that his Dad and Mum were naturally right to be concerned for his safety and not to allow him to be out of the house and down the park alone etc. (I was extremely impressed with him). My son then said he was sorry and came home with me. Since then I have met with the Community Support team to give them more information about my son and his difficulties. I am away next weekend for three days and my wife is here alone with son and five year old daughter. The Officer has just rung my wife and is going to come round and have a chat with her and my son next week to try and re-enforce the message of safety and not running off.
I never thought in a million years that I would be faced with calling the Police to something my children have done but I just hope I did the right thing.
Len i never played my mum/dad up up but i was a total nitemare out of site .Remembering what i was like at 15 your 100% right to be "over" protective of your 3 girls.
good luck to you both . i really dont a envi todays parents 1%.
your a good parent and what refreshing attitude from the community police officer,who a lot of time get a bad press.
Great story bing, kudos to you and the community policeman, at the very least write to the local Chief Constable.
You could have solved the immediate short term problem physically but at incalculable damage to the trust you have gradually and carefully built up.
The way you handled it is likely to have made a lasting impression on a 9 year old and you have not breached any trust as you were straight with him throughout.
It is great that you found a supportive PCSO too to reinforce what you were trying to do.
I hope Mrs Bing sees it the same way as I think you've dealt superbly with a potentially very difficult situation.
I'm not sure I'd have done as well!
Thanks to all for the supportive comments above.
Well put steve!
Trouble with some of "todays" parents is that they regard it as a part time occupation. Oh and that's not at you Len- there are many who would have just let them get on with it..
Len, I had planned to discuss this with the Police Community Support Team in advance. Unfortunately events over took me somewhat. As has been said by others it's actually nice, for once, to recognise a real professional approach by one of our boys in blue. He immediately realised what I was trying to achieve and provided me with the re-inforcement I was seeking. My son is, at heart, a good lad stuggling to cope with life having been dealt a truely difficult hand in his very early life. As I write this, my wife is reading letters he has received this week from his half brother and sister who has never met . We recognise how hard these things are for him. Trying to keep him on the right side of things is difficult. At the end of things he has to learn to make good decisions for himself. The hardest thing as a parent is be able to step back and let children find their own solutions to lifes problems and yet somehow have enough "scafolding" in place to stop them falling down completely. I see the support I have had by the Police as a vital part of that. If that is mirrored elsewhere in the country then there is some hope for the future.
Your kids sound like they are very lucky to have you keeping an "arms length" eye on them.
Here’s my teenage story.
Yesterday my son represented Bromley at the London Youth games at Judo. As expected he didn’t do very well (understatement) but what really amazed me was the behavior and attitude of the kids and there hundreds from all backgrounds. Judo being the type of sport that it is requires self discipline. Not once did I see a kid lose his/her temper. Every bout keenly contested and ending with the kids bowing and shaking hands.
Good god no !
Len - this 'club' wasnt the Casino Rooms was it? One of Carter's regular haunts, so I wouldnt be dropping her off there if I were you... ;-)
Teenagers get a predictably bad press but your story tells the other side of things and its a really good tale to tell. My son belongs to a Korean martial arts group and all of the kids, from 4 - 18 are taught to show repect and self discipline. My son tries really hard to learn the lessons the martial art teaches and, in the main, this child who finds life and rules quite hard, manages to keep faith with what's required of him including respresenting his group at public displays. The man who runs his group, teaches the art in prisons, helping them to control their anger and channel it in a positive way. I'm all for this kind of activity.
With children I think one of the key points is not only to take an active interest in them but to find out what interests them. Pretty obvious I know but if you leave them to their own devices its little wonder what happens.
This afternoon, the original male Officer knocked on the door asked to come in, spoke to my Son for a few moments, checked with my Wife that he had stayed at home emphasised again how unsafe it was for him to be running out on the street and the produced not one but two Yorkies, one for each of my children. He emphasised that this was his reward for doing what he had been asked. (my Daughter got one so that she didn't feel left out) Corney it may be but hats off to both Officers. I will be penning a letter to the Chief of Norfolk Police tomorrow.