With the Winner failing turn up on his first day of work, whats the best excuses you have used ot herd to get the day off, when i start a new job i get at least 4 days of with death of grand parents, so they have been dead for at least 10 years now, but when you ring the boss and say my grans dead, there is not alot they can say. Cold i know but god somedays u just need to do it. How many people chucked one yesterday.
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or maybe you just dont understand what respect means .
If you want a dodgy one tell them you have the shits, no one wants details and no one will want you in.
I sometimes use the ex wife playing up regards the kids, ie not come back from a weekend away etc so I have to keep hold of them.
"How low can you get"
"Yorkshire Terrier"
"How Sick?"
"Im in bed with simon Jordan a midget and trained donkey"
I dont know who was more embarrassed when i eventually got in about midday - my boss or me - i did say ill spare you the gory details for which he thanked me.
Save you clueless men looking it up... here is one of the main causes of cystisis
"In women physical damage or bruising often caused by vigorous or frequent sex can also lead to cystitis this is sometimes known as 'honeymoon cystitis'."
PMSL......we know what you were allegedly doing
The Security Manager was there and says "you have 5 mins to clear your gear before i throw you on the street" he would have done it as well.Me i sat there stunned. So what do u do the next time some one really has a problem like that.
er well could i just point out i didnt actually have it. I spent the night at mates after missing my ferry home...a hangover and a half. to make matters worse i had to borrow her clothes and she was a size 8... her wraparound skirt wasnt quite wrapping around me - ahhh memories tho.
PS Greewich beer festival on ? u and Mr T ?
he's talking of going on friday with the Oak lot and we're going on the sunday.
I'd been at the dentist the week before so told them that the filling I'd had done had come out and so I had to go back and get it fixed. Feeling chuffed about how clever I was, went back to bed for a bit, then jumped on the train to waterloo and was in by 2.
Got collered by my boss as soon as I walked in and reminded that the office phones have caller ID and asked how long my dentist had been in Dorset??