From the Five Year Plan fanzine. Bless em...
Hudson - My Clown Hell
His career was on the up. His prospects were bright. His earnings would increase.
It all looked so great for Mark Hudson when Charlton announced his signing, but dark clouds were forming.
“That was when it all changed,” he says. “It just hit me like a rampaging elephant escaped from the Circus (or Svetoslav Todorov, as we call him).”
Hudson had been recruited for his ability, but it was only after the player put pen-to-paper that he finally found out the qualities the manager admired most.
“They told me that the liked the way I performed,” says Hudson, tears rolling down cheeks, leaving streaks in his face-paint. “I just never expected them to ask me to perform like this.”
Mark can now be seen making cameo appearances in Charlton’s defence, but it is outside the ground that he is at his most popular.
“The kids love me,” says the former Palace defender. “They have to ship in fans from all over South England, so it’s good for the club to have someone dressed as a traditional Charlton fan to greet them as they step off the bus.”
Alan Pardew, Charlton’s manager, claims that it is Hudson’s ball juggling and convincing falling-over which attracted him to the player.
“He was exactly the kind of person we were looking for to supplement the entertainment,” Pardew told journalists. “We were looking for someone the fans would perhaps not take so seriously, a bit like how the world views us.”
“I’m hoping that the cub can find a place in defence for me,” Hudson added. “But if this doesn’t work out, I gather McDonalds are looking for a new mascot.”
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Comments
But at least we have fans to ship in 'from all over the south of England'!
They really aren't bothered by us are they............
looking forward to tuesday
F*** off you palace w*****s!!!
We stole your manager (even though he was crap) then we stole your captain, so stop crying about it!!!
Bring on Tuesday!!!
Anyway it is quite clear they don't care about us and they are not miffed about us nicking Hudson.
err....
Still..... not in the slightest bit humourous!!!
Of course they have the better end of the deal and have been glad to see the back of him. Thats why he has been rock solid this season, scored a goal on his debut (not bad for a defender), and that's why the Nigels will be frothing at the mouth and abuse him relentlessly next Tuesday evening
Oh Mark Hudson Is Wonderful
You would think they would turn their hard biting satirical guns onto the "real" rivalry that they have with the footballing giant that is Brighton and Hove Albion.
Ersatz laughter from an Ersatz football club.
What K. said.
Laugh, I almost did.