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Eulogy advice

kigeliakigelia
edited February 2009 in Not Sports Related
I have to stand up at my father in laws funeral tomorrow and speak. I generall have no problem speaking in public and am happy with what I wrote but I am absolutely shitting myself. I think mainly because I am speaking about memories other people had of him as well as a few anecdotes of my own.

any of you folks had to do this before? Any advice would be welcome as I suspect I will be wanting to hit the bottle by this time tomorrow.

Comments

  • ElthamaddickElthamaddick
    mate, just speak from the heart, everyone will appreciate what you are doing trust me....good luck
  • DA9DA9
    There's no right way or wrong way, I do a lot of public speaking, if you get emotional, you get emotional, just go with it.

    Good luck
  • BDLBDL
    [cite]Posted By: Elthamaddick[/cite]mate, just speak from the heart, everyone will appreciate what you are doing trust me....good luck
    [cite]Posted By: DA9[/cite]There's no right way or wrong way, I do a lot of public speaking, if you get emotional, you get emotional, just go with it.

    Good luck

    Can only agree with the lads. Just think of the good times.
  • Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    Feel for you.

    Sometimes it works to focus on one person at the back of the room and just speak to them. Your voice will carry but it becomes more like 1 person telling the stories to 1 other rather than to a big group.
  • DA9DA9
    Sounds daft, but I would try and inject some sense of humour into it, will make you feel better, and help comfort some of the congregation, something quirky, like his personality trait.
  • ShrewShrew
    edited February 2009
    I would get a sense of where four or five people you know are sitting so you can make some eye contact with them. Take your time, breath. Dont worry if you well up for a bit, everyone else will be too. Take a moment then carry on. Dont take a wriiten speech in with you, just key words that matter to you, the rest will come naturally.Really think about the memories as you talk about them. (dont read them). Im sure the love of your father in law will shine through along with some good memories.
  • _MrDick_MrDick
    Make 'em laugh. A friend of mine gave a eulogy and talked about the time the deceased had a mid-life crisis and walked out on his wife and kids after twenty five years of marriage. He got himself a dolly bird, an earring, leather trousers and a medallion. Six months later after the dolly bird had spent his life savings and kicked him out, he went home, put the key in the door, walked in and asked if anyone wanted a cup of tea as if nothing had happened. The whole conregation were in tears and it soon took away the sadness.
  • adamtheaddickadamtheaddick
    just imagine your in the pub talking to your mates ignore the crowd, always helps me. or as someone said earlier focus on the back of the room and remeber to breath!! i know this might not sound best advice but if your really nervous a wee nip od somthing before hand will steady the nerves, i know most of the funerals i have been to there is always a hip flask going around. Good luck mate, hate to do it my grandads when i was 15, really hard but glad i got to say goodbye properly and meant alot to my family too.
  • GoonerhaterGoonerhater
    Did it at my Dads. hated idea of someone who didnt know him saying anything and felt it was my duty. as the Yanks say you get in the "zone" and go for it. I wrote it down timed mysef-- pause at each sentance----it aint easy .
  • kigeliakigelia
    All went well in the end, when we first got in to the chapel I thought there was no way I would get through it. I tougher it out and it went better than I could have expected.

    Didn't cope very well afterwards but I guess holding it all in to get through my bit had something to do with it.

    Thanks for the advice
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  • WilmaWilma
    [quote][cite]Posted By: kigelia[/cite]All went well in the end, when we first got in to the chapel I thought there was no way I would get through it. I tougher it out and it went better than I could have expected.

    Didn't cope very well afterwards but I guess holding it all in to get through my bit had something to do with it.

    Thanks for the advice[/quote]

    Glad to hear you got through it okay.
  • LoOkOuTLoOkOuT
    Good on you kigelia, that's not an easy position to be in.
  • ShrewShrew
    well done. I'm glad it all went well
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