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Kevin Nolan's message to Charlton Lifers . . . and others

edited February 2009 in General Charlton
Kevin Nolan writes:

23 devoted years and they canned me. Is there no justice? Well, maybe there is. But I've never been so insulted since the last time I was sacked. They'll pay for this. Well, probably not, but catch me buying the Mercury ever again. Or even reading it in the library. I know you'll show solidarity and do the same. Though possibly you won't.

Anyway, thanks for blogging on in such numbers. As I gaze down on your expectant faces, bless you all, I see how much I mean to you. Er, it's Kev.. Nolan.. y'know Kevin Nolan, I used to write in the local paper. Blimey, how quickly they forget. Nah, I'm only pulling your plonkers because we're welded together by common misery and modern technology. Those Luddites don't know what they're missing. Mind you, I'd quite enjoy getting stuck into a machine or two. My Hazel made a personal stand a couple of years ago when she dropped our mobile down the lavatory. Easy mistake to make. Could have happened to anyone. We managed a brief snatch of "For Those In Peril On The Sea" then slid it over the side of our recycle bin. They made 10 bookies' pens out of it, we heard later.

Hello, looks like I've hit a bit of a technical snag early doors. A glitch, as we cyber jockeys call it. It's happened before. So stay blogged-on while I sort it. Shouldn't take a minute. Apparently, my web browzer is not configured to run the script required by the validation process. I hate it when that happens. What I need to do is download the required plug-in and continue with the validation in order to launch the alternate validation process which is optimized for browsers unable to run the original validation script. It's important also to extend the functionality of the Mozilla-based Web browser and,er, turn the machine on properly. Another easy mistake to make. Could have happened to anyone.

I'm well up for that Evening with Kevin Nolan wheeze by the way. Hazel does it regularly in front of the soaps and swears by it. What about that Norris out of Corrie? I love Norris. Only the other day he revealed that Oldham was "The Home of the Tubular Bandage." Different class. You don't get that on Eastenders. Speaking of which, I know that's you out there, Dean, hiding behind West Sussex Addick. And I didn't like that crack about my driving though I will admit that old cove mowing his lawn got a nasty turn that time I used his front garden to turn round in near Elm Park, Reading. Yet another easy mistake to make. Could have happened to anyone.

I blame my brother Tony for all this. He started my decline all those years ago in San Francisco when he confided in me, without being bloody asked, that the whole world was fixed. "Not just a fight or a ballgame, Kev", he murmured,"the whole lot's fixed." I didn't know what he meant then and still don't but I was hugely impressed by the curiously enigmatic smile playing around his lips. I don't mind admitting I was intrigued and lost no time in replacing my usual gormless expression with a brooding new look which combined seamed, grizzled, rugged, narrow-eyed, mysterious, dangerous and, needless to say, enigmatic. You'll recognise it. A bit of a Jean Paul Belmondo without being French. I never fancied that. All that wobbly singing through the nose. That Edith Piaf bird. Given half a chance, I'd give her something she'd really regret. Mona Lisa too with her dopey smirk. She's not technically French, I know, but well...

Anyway, I was touched by your reaction to my misfortune, including that Portuguese bloke who stood by me during previous unpleasantness at Barnsley, where me and Adrian Spalding ended up in shackles after a misunderstanding involving half-time refreshments. He knows how I languished until Gareth Peirce showed up and claimed Habeas Corpus.
And, of course, there was that time when I led Matty and Del out of Maine Road in a massive group sulk after Kit Symons scored and missed Steve Jones' equaliser. I'm not proud I lied about it to Dean and Mark later but I was in a corner and lying has always come naturally to me. There's a million stories, in none of which I'm the hero. But where are all those sods now? I'll be at Swansea tomorrow. None of them will. But I must fight this bitterness. It will serve only to demean me. Bastards.

Comments

  • "That Edith Piaf bird. Given half a chance, I'd give her something she'd really regret"

    lol. Very good.
  • Superb, made my Friday afternoon. Thanks Kevin.
  • Wonderful stuff Kev....oh what we're going to miss...or are we????
  • Kevin who?











    :-)
  • What one of the sisters was Kev ?
  • Don't let the b*stards grind you down Kev.

    Nice line about Piaf. I gaurantee that I will steal that at some point in the future.
  • PMSL, cheers Kevin, LEGEND.
  • " ......What about that Norris out of Corrie? I love Norris. Only the other day he revealed that Oldham was "The Home of the Tubular Bandage." Different class. You don't get that on Eastenders."


    Oldham "The Home of the Tubular Bandage ....!



    LMAO !
  • so now i no longer need to buy the Mercury you'll be posting the Swansea match report on here then?

    Well might as well, nothing to lose eh Kev?
  • I wouldn't pretend to know Kevin, but I had the pleasure to meet him a few times in the Selhurst Park days.

    But from the little I do know, he is a man of the people & a very fine journalist.

    Respect.
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  • Nice one Kev, you should sign up for CL. It'd save Airman Brown some work :-)
  • Dan, can you get the legend that is Kevin Nolan to write a weekly article? This had me in stitches and I'm sure it would be appreciated by many more out there in the world wide community
  • Genius......the best Local Sport Journo in the country...... can we get him write the CAFC Programme....would be a scream.
  • edited February 2009
    [cite]Posted By: PeteF[/cite]Genius......the best Local Sport Journo in the country...... can we get him write the CAFC Programme....would be a scream.

    I'd love him to start a new fanzine in conjunction with Rock_Spectacle.(Ian).
  • "Free the Barnsley two..."
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: SoundAsa£[/cite][quote][cite]Posted By: PeteF[/cite]Genius......the best Local Sport Journo in the country...... can we get him write the CAFC Programme....would be a scream.[/quote]

    I'd love him to start a new fanzine in conjunction with Rock_Spectacle.(Ian).[/quote]



    Oi !!

    &.................
  • P...I thought it was Ian's baby and that you wrote a column in there every week for him/The Anorak Addick...sorry if I've got that wrong!
  • Rock Specticles pregnant ?
  • edited March 2009
    nice one Kevin
  • I've been trying to organize " An evening with Kev Nolan".
    Spoke to him on Sunday and said he'd think about it, but phoned on Monday to say Thanks,but no thanks.
    Dunno if I'm being "out of order" here, but was wondering if enough people say they would be interested on here he may change his mind.
    The date "pencilled" in was Thursday 26th March at the Golden Lion in Sydenham, Sydenham Road, SE26, for 8pm.

    Kevin;
    If I'm out of order, I apologies.
    P.
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  • Not being funny MOG, but if he has thought about it and said no, that should be it really, shouldn't it ?

    Not too sure how many you would attract over that way to be honest.
  • Good point AFKA.
    May invite him out for a drink, who knows who'll turn up................

    ;-)
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Roland Out!