How to fix the economy

DA9

Just been sent this, quite funny.



How to fix the financial crisis - fast and painless!


Dear Mr. Brown:


Please find below my suggestion for fixing the British economy.

Instead of giving billions to Banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. 10 million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new CAR. 10 million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!


If more money is needed, then get all members of Parliament and their mates to pay their proper taxes...

Friend Or Defoe

What they should do is get the banks who they've lent money to to lend it to their customers. 90% mortgage (if you search hard...) are unrealistic for first time buyers in London, bring it up to 95%.

Goonerhater

im game SHOW ME THE MONEY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

razil

at a cost of....

£10,000,000,000,000

UK Bankrupt..

Goonerhater

we are bankrupt now

razil

ok more bankrupt

leftbehind

sounds good to me

Addickted

The easiest solution is to invade France.

razil

also there aren't 10 million unemployed let along 10 million who are trained to fill those vacancies.. mostly bnq though aren't they?? ;)

StrikerFirmani

[cite]Posted By: Friend Or Defoe[/cite]What they should do is get the banks who they've lent money to to lend it to their customers. 90% mortgage (if you search hard...) are unrealistic for first time buyers in London, bring it up to 95%.

Cheap easy mortgages,thats what helped cause the problems in the first place. Make money harder to lend and house prices will be forced down to sensible levels then youngster will be able to afford them with out being in debt for the rest of their lives.

leftbehind

[quote][cite]Posted By: razil[/cite]also there aren't 10 million unemployed let along 10 million who are trained to fill those vacancies.. mostly bnq though aren't they?? ;)[/quote]

could be with all that are working and claiming dole money

DA9

[cite]Posted By: Addickted[/cite]The easiest solution is to invade France.

I'm with you, see you at Dover with a Tin Hat (Collander), and a staff (spatula)...tally ho......

Salad

we're running up a big debt but asa propotion of GDP I think it is going to be less than countries like Germany, Japan and the US

randy andy

also there aren't 10 million over 50s currently in employment. The population of the UK is only around 60 million, so I'm guessing there are probably only around 10-15 million over 50s in total, a huge number of whom will be unemployed or retired already.

Goonerhater

Germany,Japan,and USA have economies that are larger than ours and have the ability to recover quicker than ours.


taling in billions and hundreds of billions of pounds in debt and still ging deeper into it --- what does it actually mean as a figure ? they know we dont know and they also know we will pay by higher tax, VAt,bank,charges,intrest rates -----------------we didnt cause the mess but we (and our children) will be paying for years.

razil

[quote][cite]Posted By: randy andy[/cite]also there aren't 10 million over 50s currently in employment. The population of the UK is only around 60 million, so I'm guessing there are probably only around 10-15 million over 50s in total, a huge number of whom will be unemployed or retired already.[/quote]

over 50s are the second largest group in actively in or seeking employment the total of which is about 35mil, can't find the actual figure for that group though

Goonerhater

i can confirm im over 50 and actively seeking large amounts of cash-----yngr women with large chaests--------fame (again)--------glory------and a European tour with CAFC.

aim high.

pilchard

why not indeed!

T_C_E

I'm with GH on this one, give me a million and I'm off.

Oggy Red

[cite]Posted By: T.C.E[/cite]I'm with GH on this one, give me a million and I'm off.

Yep, just a million ...... and I could change my life.

Goonerhater

£ 250,000 will do ta.

Dazzler21

250,000,000 will do me absolutely fine!