Now, I know some of you must have done this and a lot more of you have sat and cringed while your new Father-in -Law tried to entertain the assembled masses. Well, it's my turn to have a go for the first time in a few weeks time. Any hints, ideas, suggestions to help things along would be welcome. I've had to promise to keep off the drink until after the speechifying, after what happened at my 60th. do a while ago! Some people still aren't talking to me!
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find something very mildly embarrassing in the groom's past (check with him first) and make one small joke about and say that despite that you think he's great.
Find one very very mildly embarrassing story from your daughters life (preferably when she was under 5 and check with her mother first) and make a little joke about that.
Say they are a great couple, thank every one and sit down. Everyone will think it was great as it was short, to the point and not too cringe worthy and people will still be talking to you.
Avoid stories/jokes from books or the internet. Everyone has heard the good ones at another wedding.
And congratulations to you and them
NO YOU CAN'T.
No one under 35 will know who they are. ; - )
If you want some jokes then start but saying could everyone hand in their place settings as there are 150 MPs who need some evidence to back up their expenses claims.
went surprisingly well
"Ladies and gentlemen and friends of my daughter.
There comes a time in every wedding reception when the man who paid the for the damn thing is allowed to speak a word or two of his own.
And I should like to take this opportunity, sloshed as I may be, to say a word or two about Martin.
As far as I'm concerned, my daughter could not have chosen a more delightful, charming, witty, responsible, wealthy, let's not deny it, well-placed, good-looking and fertile young man than Martin as her husband.
And I therefore ask the question Why the hell did she marry Gerald instead?... because Gerald is a sort of man we used to describe at school as a complete prick!
If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire family may be likened to a compost heap (and I think they can) then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it.
I think he's a sort of man people emigrate to avoid.
I remember the first time I met Gerald, I said to my wife (she's the lovely woman propping up that old lush of a mother of his) either this man is suffering from serious brain damage or the new vacuum cleaner's just arrived.
As for his family, they are quite simply the most intolerable herd of steaming social animals that I have ever had the misfortune of turning my nose up to.
I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog.
I would like to propose a toast to the caterers. And to the pigeons who cr@p on the groom's family's limousine at the church.
Er....as for the rest of you around this table not directly related to me, you can f*ck off.
I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat."
Actually, on second thoughts, maybe you should stick to Henry's suggestion. Have a great day, congrats and enjoy!
Handy for the structure of the speech and help make sure you dont forgot something that you are meant to include. I have had a look prior to my wedding on saturday.
His family and mine have been pals for years, I could of dragged up millions of stories and I would not have given a shit, his family would of loved it. Hers though are a different gravy, I would of had to recite something off the interweb because you can't just both stand up do a little short speech and sit down, but I appreciate you don't want to bomb like I have seen a couple of my mates do trying to be a stand up comedian. No sir I felt a few old stories would not hurt and they would of brought (half) of the house down.
For a father of a bride, I found the ones that affectionately rip the groom about his choice of football team and the first time he caught her climbing on his little princess always bring a smile but try to tell a story like how your little girl has grown up from the time you held her in your arms for the first time all those years ago blah blah blah and you should keep everyone from hating you.
I'm here to help
You might want to change this babe as people might think you are going to give away your daughter when infact it's my Dad giving me away to you!
Yeah, what Maria said - I meant that I have my Father-in-Law's speech to look forward to