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Predict what Parsehole will say in his first press conference....

I always liked this one from ours:

"I am very focused, my philosophy is very complicated with what I do and I need people who are good enough to be able to go along with that"

People's that's where you helped destroy our club pal, no one else was as good enough as you.
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Comments

  • will he ask Parkinson to be his number two?
  • might all be a bit too complicated for Parky. You got to be special to be on Parsehole's wavelength.

    I reckon it will have to be either Mourinho, Trapattoni or Shankly.
  • Will he ask the current players who are out of contract to meet them with their wifes before he decides if he should renew the exisiting deals
  • This will be a little add on after praising the saints:-

    I throughly enjoyed my time at Charlton, i feel that if you ask their fans they will tell you we was just a couple of more loans from being a good side. Unfortunately the board tied my hands at this point and i was not allowed to bring 78th player to the club. I just felt that had we got Ronny Rosential over the line we would have had a finisher.
  • I am the special one. I know, because I said so.
  • When I was at West Ham......... blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzz
  • 'From now on i will play my best team'
  • What do you mean I've got a big nose?
  • " I dont have to answer any of your questions mr chairman if you dont like it do something about it and you know how much that will cost"
  • DA9DA9
    edited July 2009
    Wibble, we are the knights that say ni
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  • "I will make signing Luke Varney my number one priority, he is the man to get us 25 goals this season"
  • I have a long time to reflect on my mistakes and how i f***ed up a great club in my previous employment whilst i was sitting on the beach for the last year in my speedos countiing my £1.3 million pay off, do you know i now only have £1 million left of that now
  • "Well there is only a limited amout I can do with the £2 Billion that has been made available to me, so I am going to have to get a few out before I can get the ones that I want in. There is an enormous amount that has to change at this football club and mine was the only Ferrari at the training ground this morning."
  • Do you know I used to manage West Ham United?
  • 'I pride myself on coaching teams to play good attacking football'
  • Following today’s press conference at St.Mary’s, Saints new manager Alan Pardew spoke to The Echo regarding his plans for the club and his previous experience at Charlton Athletic.

    ‘There can be no big egos at this club. If you go into games in this league with a flashy attitude and thinking you should have an automatic right to promotion, you’ll be dealt a nasty slap in the face.

    ‘There’ll be some big ugly players and teams in this division and the physical component is definitely a factor. But with this group of players we can keep the ball on the floor and play our way out of the division.

    ‘Sure at times we’ll have to roll our sleeves up and graft results but we’ll be one of the favourites, as we should be, and we must believe we can boss this league. Clearly we have the backing of the Chairman and I’d be lying if I said I won’t be strengthening across all areas.

    ‘That was the problem at Charlton. I came into a situation similar to what was going on here and I had to cut the cloth and move players around and juggle finances and we never had a settled side. I wish the club and the fans well but they were a club already on the slide when I went in. I’m proud of the efforts I made there but there were factors that made it very hard. I think the fans understood that and I believe I’d have turned it around if I had only been given the time.

    ‘The aim is to get into the Championship and I know that league well because I took West Ham through it and to the top level. It’s sad to see Charlton down here too but I’ve joined a big club with big ideas and we will move it forwards.

    ‘Sure we’ve got money and that helps but we can’t just get carried away and pay over the odds. We won’t be mugs.’

    Pardew refused to comment on a report he has posted a four million pound bid for winger Lloyd Sam at former club Charlton but confirmed former Pompey striker Svetoslav Todorov is training with the club.

    ‘He’s had his problems but he is great in the hole behind a front man and he offers something different to the other attacking options. In this league you need that bit of quality and he has it in bundles.’

    (Alan Pardew was speaking to The Echo from the Solent Solarium and Tanning Centre which will be sponsoring the team’s first game).
  • "I'm Nick Gray"
  • edited July 2009
    "I dont care if all our other strikers are out injured or misfiring, new signing Chris Dickson is not the answer even if he has been banging them in for fun at Gillingham. No we'll stick to hoofing it up to the big man up front in the hope that hell somehow overnight turn into Oliver Bierhoff and get something".
  • " I've found my level ".
  • "I don't like people who drain my time and energy. If you've seen the Harry Potter films, we use the term 'dementors' - people who can draw the life out of you in terms of your energy. So we'll eradicate the 'dementors', encourage the positive people, and that will spreads around to create the team spirit we want here."
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  • "I've had a look around the stadium and I've told the chairman there are a few things they need to change. It's not good enough for what I want or what the club should be aiming for. We have to work the players in the right surroundings and I was at Wembley a few weeks back for the play-offs and they seem to have it right. On the playing front, Marek Saganowski will be the first one that I shift out as his mrs is a real munter""
  • "The chairman's wife's fit, isn't she? Hey, love, what are you doing tonight? Want to help me polish my motor?"
  • edited July 2009
    shame it took so many people to realise he was wrong for the club,you would think we all new about him
  • Inspector - you are a very naughty boy. ;-)
  • I am gonna come here and absolutely rape the club of everything in its wallet.
  • [cite]Posted By: MrOneLung[/cite]I am gonna come here and absolutely rape the club of everything in its wallet.


    lol, brilliant.
  • What's with all the wife/motor/women gags ?
  • 'Sorry, not time for a press conference - I have 76 loan deals to sort out by 2pm - and I've just put a bid of 5 million in for Cory Gibbs'
  • "Welcome to the beggining of my era at St Mary's. Firstly I'd like to introduce you to my uniquely arrogant ways of sports science based practices for team selection called Pardology. I've just signed Nicky Weaver. No he can't catch and yes he is very slow off his line however... he's got the best car in the car park which clearly means he's a terrific player and it's a real coup to be signing someone of this quality"
  • "Just so you all know, when we win obviously it is because I am one of the best young managers around and my motivation and man-management skills are second to none. I will take full credit for wins and I'll speak arrogantly as if this level is beneath me.

    When we lose it will be because the team obviously didnt perform, I will specifically tell the boys to win every match so please understand right now, that if they lose it will be entirely the players fault. I will not be responsible for defeats as this level is beneath me."
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