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Best bit of advice you've ever been given when starting out in life?

My Uncle's tip to me was:

If in doubt, always pick the one with the big tits.

It's worked for me.
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Comments

  • Might as well, had, as wished you had.
  • Drink.............
  • "If your drowning them puppies, can I have the one with the brown nose?"
  • My old man said follow West Ham
    I said F*** off B******* You're a C***
  • Don't look so hard on everything.
  • When getting married...
    I asked a bloke at work, in his sixties, what his recipe for a long and happy marriage was.
    He told me that he had sat down with his wife and worked out a structure for decision making to avoid conflict.
    She said that she would decide where they lived, where he worked, when they would have kids and what car they would drive.
    He should deal with any really important decisions.
    I asked him what the really important ones could be.
    He replied 'fortunately, none of those have ever come up'!

    :-)
  • In all seriousness, always told my son some basic rules

    Respect your elders
    Be polite with people until they no longer deserve it
    Dont be a bully
    Dont drop litter
    Dont Thieve
    Dont eat yellow snow
  • Find a woman you don't like and buy her a house. In the long run it's quicker and cheaper than getting married and divorcing.
  • "Happy Eighteenth birthday son, get out of my house"
  • My mate's dad told him when he was in his mid teens "Remember son, everyone's a c*nt".

    He still stands by that opinion now, miserable sod.
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  • If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all
  • You've got two ears and one mouth.....

    Do as you would be done by...
  • There are several windows at the bookies that take-in money..but only one that pays the stuff out.
  • Never talk badly ('badmouth') anyone, it'll always come back to you and cause problems! Got that from the old man on my first day of work, along with: keep nails clean and boots shiny.
  • From when I was on teacher training - always be nice to the support staff (lab-techs, photocopy room, librarian, school secretaries etc). If they like you they're more likely to be willing to go out of their way to help you if you're having a last minute panic about something, and if you piss them off they have (plausibly deniable) ways of making your life hell. The same is true of most office jobs I think; piss off the receptionists, admin and IT at your peril.
  • edited August 2009
    Always get your round in
  • [cite]Posted By: Cuff[/cite]Always get your round in

    That's a good un, coming from the tightest man on earth!









    *steps back and waits for the bite
  • breathe you bastard!
  • Don't believe anything until is on the OS
  • You can do anything if you put your mind to it..

    My problem is that I don't know what my mind is.
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  • Don't eat yellow snow.....


    Also, if a ball runs into the road, slow down as a child usually follows it.
  • Exclude Off_it from all future rounds you buy!
  • [cite]Posted By: DA9[/cite]In all seriousness, always told my son some basic rules

    Respect your elders
    Be polite with people until they no longer deserve it
    Dont be a bully
    Dont drop litter
    Dont Thieve
    Dont eat yellow snow

    I got told most of the above except the snow bit and 1965jr is being told the same.
  • The late great Brian Clough was once asked this question by a schoolboy who wrote to a dozen or so celebrities at the same time via the News of the World (unknown to them). Cloughie's r
    written advice was, "son, if you expect a reply you should always enclose a stamp- addressed- envelope." You've got to love Cloughie.
  • Large advised me not to cry when I fell over:

    'You never see Derek Hales cry do you?'

    Couldn't argue with that.
  • It's nice to be nice- Advice given to me from a woman who could only speak 4 words of english
  • My dad told me when you get married volunteer to do the dishes and then break her best crokery

    Worked the first time round but this time I had to buy a dishwasher
  • Again on the marriage theme.

    My mate told me "never give a time when you'll be back home, then you can never be late".
  • don't ask people on internet boards for advice on girls
  • My uncle told me to HATE Arsenal HATE Tottenham REALLY HATE Chelsea and REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE Millwall. I listened to him a lot. He spoke a lot of sense
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