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Common Sense Obituary

edited September 2009 in Not Sports Related
Obituary printed in the London Times

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair;
and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place:
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools required parental
consent to administer sunscreen or an Aspirin to a student; but were
not allowed to inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault..

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.
She spilled a little in her lap, sued the restaurant (McDonald's) and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust;
by his wife, Discretion;
by his daughter, Responsibility and
by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers:
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To blame
I am a Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on.
If not,
join the majority and do nothing.

Comments

  • Oh dear.very brave post
    You'll be in trouble with the lily livered liberals ;

    Their reply will along the lines of :
    a. This belongs to a different age
    b. Things must change. or you must be a nazi
    c. We need to look after the poor unfortunates who can't work and don't know any better.
    d. Those that work should do so for the common good and the general will.

    or

    e. They might agree and say nothing , scraed to admit they may have gone to far but can't say they were wrong .
  • or f:

    What is the "London" Times?
  • Spot on Clivey
  • did you mean London Lite.
  • As opposed to the hypochondriac's self-written obituary:


    I told you I was ill.
  • Lily Livered Liberals?

    Liberalism is a broad camp, along with Conservatism & Socialism, Communism, Libertarianism and Fascism.

    So called 'Liberals' can be said to fight for human rights, economic Liberals fight for a free and fair market.

    Myself, (as a liberal) agree with much of the sentiment in the post, I dont think any of it goes against Liberalism.

    Indeed surely statist control rather than Liberalism surely is the cause of such 'overbearing regulation'.

    Many people seem to enjoy tarring unwashed liberals, socialists and communists with the same brush.
  • [cite]Posted By: Stuart the Red[/cite]As opposed to the hypochondriac's self-written obituary:


    I told you I was ill.

    One of (Sir) Spikes many...............
  • It's worth remembering that "lily-livered" liberals fought for most if not all of the freedoms that we enjoy now. The NHS - check out the Beveridge report. Trade unions, working hours legislation, safety in the workplace, the right to pensions and equal rights pay and opporunities, education for all and even the right to vote etc etc- none of which were gifted to the nation by conservatives but fought for by liberals. Every single leap forward over the last couple of hundred years has been the result of liberal and progressive policies, positions and goals. Every step backward is the result of Conservative policies, positions and goals.
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: BlackForestReds[/cite]It's worth remembering that "lily-livered" liberals fought for most if not all of the freedoms that we enjoy now. The NHS - check out the Beveridge report. Trade unions, working hours legislation, safety in the workplace, the right to pensions and equal rights pay and opporunities, education for all and even the right to vote etc etc- none of which were gifted to the nation by conservatives but fought for by liberals. Every single leap forward over the last couple of hundred years has been the result of liberal and progressive policies, positions and goals. Every step backward is the result of Conservative policies, positions and goals.[/quote]

    Id agree with most of that BFR although I think the Fabians and Socialists would lay claim to the Beveridge report and Trade Unions!

    Plus dont forget the minimum wage and freedom of information rules
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  • [cite]Posted By: clivey_hero[/cite]Oh dear.very brave post
    You'll be in trouble with the lily livered liberals ;

    Their reply will along the lines of :
    a. This belongs to a different age
    b. Things must change. or you must be a nazi
    c. We need to look after the poor unfortunates who can't work and don't know any better.
    d. Those that work should do so for the common good and the general will.

    or

    e. They might agree and say nothing , scraed to admit they may have gone to far but can't say they were wrong .

    You're just one of many who idiotically attach the word 'liberal' to any instance of health & safety litigation. They have no link.

    And as for people spending more than they can earn, what on earth has that got to do with liberalism? Thatcher's Right-to-buy was probably the biggest cause of that attitude.
  • As you said liberalism etc is a broad church...

    The Chartists were radical by the standards of their day - demanding universal manhood suffrage and free ballots etc, but these things (fought against by the conservatives of the era) are considered normal today to all but the most reactionary conservatives.

    Not long before that lily-livered liberals were being killed because they demanded the right to vote:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peterloo_Massacre


    And who first led the fight against fascism in Europe? I don't recall there being many stories of how conservatives and readers of the "London" Times joined the International Brigade in Spain, there are though plenty of stories of trade unionists etc doing so. Most on the right at that time were either appeasing Hitler - like Chamberlain and Lord Halifax and of course the King, or were lauding Hitler (Alfred Harmsworth referred to Hitler as "Adolf the Great" and was proud to call his paper the "The official organ of the British Union of Fascists").

    And who beat up the Blackshirts in Cable Street? Yep more lily-livered Liberals...
  • depends on what we are calling "liberalism"


    Thatchers mob are Neo Liberalist

    The Liberal Party --- Social Democratic

    The Labour rabble -----------anti english twatism
  • edited September 2009
    [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]The Labour rabble
    anti english twatism

    True that. Anyone linking 'liberalism' with the current Labour party, or in a way like clivey_hero was "trying" to needs to pipe down and read a bit more than the bold bits in the Sun.
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]depends on what we are calling "liberalism"


    Thatchers mob are Neo Liberalist

    The Liberal Party --- Social Democratic

    The Labour rabble -----------anti english twatism[/quote]

    short of the English democrats is there any credible party that's is pro-English. Seems way off the agenda for the big three
  • Agree with the OP, although I doubt it ever appeared in The Times.

    But also agree that conservatism is just that. If they had their way, there would be no unions, no right to vote and no NHS amongst other things. Remember, they used to shoot democratic protesters - remember the Peterloo massacre etc. They still would if they could get away with it.

    As for the OP, we badly need some common sense in this country, but no political party has the courage to actually bring about change in this respect, even today's Tories! As such we will continue to meekly put up with PC bullshit that we all hate, but will not criticise for fear of being labelled... [insert modern thought crime label here]
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