Oh, that is truly heartbreaking. It's always dangerous for us to come to any conclusions on the basis of so few facts, but it seems that days and events like this are far too prevalent for us to continue to bury our heads in the sand about the realities of mental illness.
Maybe this is hitting me at a bad time or place, but while one part of me wishes I'd never heard this story, and another is glad I did, to be reminded yet again about the need to sympathise with and offer support those who struggle.
Always a tragedy, but especially with a young family...
Maybe this is hitting me at a bad time or place, but while one part of me wishes I'd never heard this story, and another is glad I did, to be reminded yet again about the need to sympathise with and offer support those who struggle.
RIP
I know what you mean. I had some difficulties with stress / anxiety and depression last year and had to take a couple of months signed-off work - it's truly horrible when you don't know where to turn.
Outwardly I seemed fine - I was joking around, had a good job and my wife was pregnant - seemed everything was falling into place.
Inwardly I was petrified about being a Dad (it was planned pregnancy I was just nervous that I would be crap), I hated my job and was under a lot of pressure to succeed and travel with my job.
I had a few months to re-evaluate everything and it worked a charm. I now work for myself and have an incredible perfect healthy daughter whom I love dearly.
I honestly never contemplated suicide and to me it seems he must have been in a really dark place to have gone through with it and it must be heartbreaking for his wife who now has to bring up their adopted child alone.
Just goes to show that money doesn't necessarily being happiness!
[cite]Posted By: ColinTat[/cite]Terribly sad. Whilst I can't agree with anyone taking their life in this way, it's just real sad someone get's to this level of despair.
RIP
It's his wife i feel sorry for. Losing a child then a husband. Like you say it's sad he got to that level of despair to take his own life, but he clearly wasn't thinking of his wife at all.
Some times there are no out ward signs at all. Years back i was a Cheif Engineer of a hotel left to take up a better job. Two weeks after i had left i got a phone call, had i seen one or herd fom one of the engineers as he had gone missing. I knew where he use to play snooker and had his brothers phone number in Ireland--- they contacted both and no one had herd from him. I went over to the hotel one afternoon as his brother was coming over early that morning to check his flate. I got to the hotel 2 hours after they found his body , in his flate, he had taken his own life. It was a day later when i helped his brother open all his lockers at the hotel we found them stuffed full of empty whiskey bottles. None of us knew he had any sort of drink problem. As his boss i didnt have a clue, neither did his work mates or his brother, Micky always seemed to be a real happy YeHa sorta guy.Went to the mass for him although i thought the church wouldnt do it is someone took their own life.
Very sad and I am forced to agree with James that the Goalkeepers suffer more than anyone else. They are to blame when we lose and over-looked when we win.
[cite]Posted By: ColinTat[/cite]Terribly sad. Whilst I can't agree with anyone taking their life in this way, it's just real sad someone get's to this level of despair.
RIP
It's his wife i feel sorry for. Losing a child then a husband. Like you say it's sad he got to that level of despair to take his own life, but he clearly wasn't thinking of his wife at all.
Quite a judgement to have made when the reverse could have been the case. In severe depression, the person concerned is paralysed with fears and irrational beliefs which may include the notion that s/he is so worthless and useless that everyone would be much better off without them. I don't know how he got to this state but it's totally tragic for everyone concerned. RIP.
Unless you've suffered with severe depression, it's hard (if not impossible) to understand why they do it when it seems like their life is okay, if not brilliant. Don't mind admitting to taking a drive out to the woods with a rope in the boot a few years back. None of my friends or family had any idea how i was feeling as they saw me as the happy-go-lucky guy i normally am. You just put the mask on and carry on through until it gets to the point where it becomes too much. As i said, It's hard to undersatand because you're looking at it rationally but when you're in that frame of mind you don't. It's hard to explain but it was almost like i was a passenger in my body with no control over the actions i was contemplating, with a feeling of disorientation and confusion. Thankfully, i snapped out of it enough to realise what i was considering doing and managed to seek help and get to the root of the problems. All i will say to anyone who may feel this way is don't be afraid to ask for professional help sooner rather than later. Problems that cause this level of depression won't go away by themselves. It's no good shutting them out only for them to re-surface again.
hope your on the up now tango,i have the same problem but with substances i have not drank or taken drugs for five years but still have a fragile mind at times,was unable to see my child for many years and got into a madness if someone was to stop me seeing them again i would hope to be strong enough to deal with it better this time but im not so sure
[cite]Posted By: tangoflash[/cite]Unless you've suffered with severe depression, it's hard (if not impossible) to understand why they do it when it seems like their life is okay, if not brilliant. Don't mind admitting to taking a drive out to the woods with a rope in the boot a few years back. None of my friends or family had any idea how i was feeling as they saw me as the happy-go-lucky guy i normally am. You just put the mask on and carry on through until it gets to the point where it becomes too much. As i said, It's hard to undersatand because you're looking at it rationally but when you're in that frame of mind you don't. It's hard to explain but it was almost like i was a passenger in my body with no control over the actions i was contemplating, with a feeling of disorientation and confusion. Thankfully, i snapped out of it enough to realise what i was considering doing and managed to seek help and get to the root of the problems. All i will say to anyone who may feel this way is don't be afraid to ask for professional help sooner rather than later. Problems that cause this level of depression won't go away by themselves. It's no good shutting them out only for them to re-surface again.
I've been there and agree. I hope your back on the up as nolly said.
[cite]Posted By: tangoflash[/cite]Unless you've suffered with severe depression, it's hard (if not impossible) to understand why they do it when it seems like their life is okay, if not brilliant. Don't mind admitting to taking a drive out to the woods with a rope in the boot a few years back. None of my friends or family had any idea how i was feeling as they saw me as the happy-go-lucky guy i normally am. You just put the mask on and carry on through until it gets to the point where it becomes too much. As i said, It's hard to undersatand because you're looking at it rationally but when you're in that frame of mind you don't. It's hard to explain but it was almost like i was a passenger in my body with no control over the actions i was contemplating, with a feeling of disorientation and confusion. Thankfully, i snapped out of it enough to realise what i was considering doing and managed to seek help and get to the root of the problems. All i will say to anyone who may feel this way is don't be afraid to ask for professional help sooner rather than later. Problems that cause this level of depression won't go away by themselves. It's no good shutting them out only for them to re-surface again.
i echo nollys words mate and by the fact you can speak about it seems to suggest that you have found a coping method, i am glad you found the strength to face up to your issues, keep the faith and keep your chin up and i hope the darkness never overpowers you again.
[cite]Posted By: nolly[/cite]hope your on the up now tango,i have the same problem but with substances i have not drank or taken drugs for five years but still have a fragile mind at times,was unable to see my child for many years and got into a madness if someone was to stop me seeing them again i would hope to be strong enough to deal with it better this time but im not so sure
mate i have been there too fortunately before the kids it aint a great place to be glad your strong enough to keep clean, they can be such a knut to get through
This is a heart wrenching thread. One of my friends who like me was on the path of a highly successful marketing career which like mine became derailed had a breakdown and depression,after a couple of failed suicide attempts his wife asked him why he did not think about them and he replied that in that moment he could think of nothing just ending the pain in his head, a blackness / darkness and there was only one way to relieve it. He left marketing and worked as a call centre operative and all was well. After a year he left work in good spirit,he phoned his wife and told her he would be home late and went to the top of a car park in Reading drank a bottle of spirits and was found at the bottom. I don't know what went through his head if anything, the saving grace was that no one saw him and he left no note so his insurances were still valid, otherwise his family would have lost house and home. He was one of my closest friends.
I don't think you ever stop feeling depressed once you end up on that slope, you just learn to deal with it better. I suffered with it a few years ago & contemplated ending it just to stop feeling like you're worthless - as people have posted, you put on a mask so people around you believe that you're fine.
Now, I'm very happy with my lot, and have learnt to deal with things better - if I feel like I'm in a rut again, I now know that I need to change something rather than letting the feeling overwhelm me or you learn to cope better.
Thanks Dazzler & nolly. Things are much better these days. Maybe this aint the best club to be supporting if you suffer with depression :-). Some people see it as a sign of weakness or selfishness but it can happen to anyone. It is an illness, but not one that can be easily spotted. I myself used to think that those who take their lives were weak and always considered myself to be strong in mind, but i realised that we all have a breaking point and it's not something that happens all of a sudden, but slowly builds up without you realising until you reach the point where you can no longer cope. I must stress again, do not be afraid or embarrased to seek professional help. It was what saved me. Only about a month after my "incident", my younger brother (who was also one of my best friends) died suddenly at the age of 33. My counsellor who had said to call him anytime, day or night was awoken by me at 3am. Not only did he talk to me but got in his car and drove over to me straight away. I owe that man my life.
Comments
His daughter died two years ago of a heart defect.
RIP.
RIP
RIP
Maybe this is hitting me at a bad time or place, but while one part of me wishes I'd never heard this story, and another is glad I did, to be reminded yet again about the need to sympathise with and offer support those who struggle.
Always a tragedy, but especially with a young family...
RIP
RIP
R.I.P.
I know what you mean. I had some difficulties with stress / anxiety and depression last year and had to take a couple of months signed-off work - it's truly horrible when you don't know where to turn.
Outwardly I seemed fine - I was joking around, had a good job and my wife was pregnant - seemed everything was falling into place.
Inwardly I was petrified about being a Dad (it was planned pregnancy I was just nervous that I would be crap), I hated my job and was under a lot of pressure to succeed and travel with my job.
I had a few months to re-evaluate everything and it worked a charm. I now work for myself and have an incredible perfect healthy daughter whom I love dearly.
I honestly never contemplated suicide and to me it seems he must have been in a really dark place to have gone through with it and it must be heartbreaking for his wife who now has to bring up their adopted child alone.
Just goes to show that money doesn't necessarily being happiness!
RIP
It's his wife i feel sorry for. Losing a child then a husband. Like you say it's sad he got to that level of despair to take his own life, but he clearly wasn't thinking of his wife at all.
Was only reading his name on Sunday on the team sheet Hannover v Hamburg.
RIP Micky Foye.
Very sad and I am forced to agree with James that the Goalkeepers suffer more than anyone else. They are to blame when we lose and over-looked when we win.
I love you Robbie!
Quite a judgement to have made when the reverse could have been the case. In severe depression, the person concerned is paralysed with fears and irrational beliefs which may include the notion that s/he is so worthless and useless that everyone would be much better off without them. I don't know how he got to this state but it's totally tragic for everyone concerned. RIP.
i echo nollys words mate and by the fact you can speak about it seems to suggest that you have found a coping method, i am glad you found the strength to face up to your issues, keep the faith and keep your chin up and i hope the darkness never overpowers you again.
mate i have been there too fortunately before the kids it aint a great place to be glad your strong enough to keep clean, they can be such a knut to get through
Now, I'm very happy with my lot, and have learnt to deal with things better - if I feel like I'm in a rut again, I now know that I need to change something rather than letting the feeling overwhelm me or you learn to cope better.