Adult Riddles
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
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Q What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
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Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
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Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
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Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
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Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
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Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
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Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
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Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh' and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
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Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
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Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
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Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 15 kilos.
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Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
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Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
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Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
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Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
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Comments
Coming home pissed, lipstick on your collar, smelling of womens perfume, slapping the wife on the arse and saying "your next fatty!"
> > 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing
> > Commentator - 'This
> > is really a lovely horse. I once rode her
> > mother.'
> > >
> >
> > >
> > > 2. Murry Mexted, New Zealand Rugby Commentator -
> > 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson
> > comes inside of him.'
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator
> > - 'And this is Gregoriava from
> > Bulgaria . I saw her snatch
> > this morning and it was amazing!'
> > >
> > >
> > > 4.
> > Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race
> > 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that
> > nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is
> > kissing the Cox of the
> > Oxford
> > crew.'
> > >
> > >
> > > 5.
> > US PGA
> > Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold
> > Palmer) is playing so
> > well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes
> > out his balls and
> > kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just
> > said??'
> > >
> >
> > >
> > > 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the
> > Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
> > 'You'd eat beaver if you could get
> > it.'
> > >
> > >
> > > 7. A female news anchor who, the
> > day after it was supposed to have snowed and
> > didn't, turned to the
> > weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that
> > eight inches you promised me
> > last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the
> > set, but half the crew
> > did too, because they were laughing so hard!
> > >
> > >
> >
> > > 8. Steve Ryder covering the
> > US
> > Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today
> > after a 69 yesterday.'
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo
> > hot dog on 'Look North' said:
> > 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage
> > inside you on a cold night like this. '
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on
> > 'Sky Sports':
> > 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's
> > misses every chance he gets.'
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa
> > Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth
> > during BBC1's
> >
> > UK eclipse coverage remarked:
> > 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing
> > each other and he's only come
> > in his shorts.'
> > >
> > >
> > > 12.. Ken Brown
> > commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie
> > Fanny Sunneson
> > lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some
> > weeks Nick likes to use
> > Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by
> > himself.'
Nothing to do with Curbs, then ..... ?
;o)