My brother (once again) being the only man i have ever met that gets prescribed a course of antibiotics that is to only last for 2 days, and even more curiously (once again) ends on a Friday night
Adventurous - Slut
Athletic - No tits
30 Something - 41
Fun - Annoying
Wild - Gets pissed easily
Beautiful eyes - Face like a robbers dog
Seeks knight in shining armour - Ex husband's a f***ing nutter
New age - Hairy with a smelly fanny
Headstrong - Argumentative
Enjoys pubbing & clubbing - Alcoholic
Curvy - Fat cow
Cuddly - Fat cow
Likes eating out - Greedy fat cow
Likes nights in - Lazy fat cow
6'4" girl in high heels walked passed my desk yesterday and fell over in front of the whole open plan office with a tremendous thud before hauling herself up and sprinting off quicker than speedy gonzales.
New girl in our office is an absolute stunner.....and single. So me and my mate have been giggling at ways to approach her, which has quickly turned into a cheesy chat-up line competition.
''Can i interest you in a fat Penguin?........something to break the ice with''
[cite]Posted By: ValleyGary[/cite]New girl in our office is an absolute stunner.....and single. So me and my mate have been giggling at ways to approach her, which has quickly turned into a cheesy chat-up line competition.
''Can i interest you in a fat Penguin?........something to break the ice with''
i dont think that would break the ice... it would leave a confused silence.
[cite]Posted By: ValleyGary[/cite]New girl in our office is an absolute stunner.....and single. So me and my mate have been giggling at ways to approach her, which has quickly turned into a cheesy chat-up line competition.
''Can i interest you in a fat Penguin?........something to break the ice with''
i dont think that would break the ice... it would leave a confused silence.
If she doesnt like the line then we clearly dont have a future together.
Ashley Cole was caught doing 130 mph... When asked by the officer why he was going so fast he replied 'I heard John Terry's car was parked outside my house'
[cite]Posted By: bibble[/cite]Last nights Mock the Week.
'My granded was very ill recently, so we covered his back with lard, he went down hill really quickly after that'
That bloke was pretty funny. Never seen him before.
I haven't got a telly any more (and dont miss it) but that sounds like Milton Jones. Saw him live in Wycombe a few months ago - very clever and very funny.
Tickets were cheap too - catch him when he's on tour.
Saw a pidgeon get on my train at Charing cross, thought sod this, i hope it dont start flying around the carriage (i hate pidgeons). Amazingly, it just sat by the door patiently. When we got to Waterloo east, the doors opened but he just sat their still. Arrived at London Bridge and it hopped off. Made me laugh.
Comments
The streaker's bum
:-)
Womens lonely hearts ads. What they really mean:
Adventurous - Slut
Athletic - No tits
30 Something - 41
Fun - Annoying
Wild - Gets pissed easily
Beautiful eyes - Face like a robbers dog
Seeks knight in shining armour - Ex husband's a f***ing nutter
New age - Hairy with a smelly fanny
Headstrong - Argumentative
Enjoys pubbing & clubbing - Alcoholic
Curvy - Fat cow
Cuddly - Fat cow
Likes eating out - Greedy fat cow
Likes nights in - Lazy fat cow
The streaker's bum[/quote]
That's mentally scarred you that eh!
This made me laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuMAiQQcNFQ
No idea why but it made me chuckle.
we've they've made me laugh !
''Can i interest you in a fat Penguin?........something to break the ice with''
i dont think that would break the ice... it would leave a confused silence.
If she doesnt like the line then we clearly dont have a future together.
THE. MILLWALL. RAP.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAc7H5mJBJ4
'My granded was very ill recently, so we covered his back with lard, he went down hill really quickly after that'
Break the ice ....... ?
She'd more like freeze you out, lol
That bloke was pretty funny. Never seen him before.
I said it was Cheesy, i didnt say it was good!!!!
;o)
there's always someone who spoils your holiday snaps.
REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MUM TOLD YOU NEVER TO ACCEPT SWEETS FROM A STRANGER.....
...THIS IS WHO SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT
Not as funny as the young guy who cycled into the back of a parked car a couple of months ago though.
Ashley Cole was caught doing 130 mph... When asked by the officer why he was going so fast he replied 'I heard John Terry's car was parked outside my house'
"MPs call for jobs blow to be reversed"
U-N-I T-E-D....that spells fucking debt to me,
with a knick knack paddy wack give a dog a bone,
Ocean Finance on the phone.
Also
The baby's not yours, the baby's not yourrrrrrrrrs,
Oh Wayne Rooney,
Its Adebayors.
(sung to 'the city is ours' song)
deliberate do you reckon?
I haven't got a telly any more (and dont miss it) but that sounds like Milton Jones. Saw him live in Wycombe a few months ago - very clever and very funny.
Tickets were cheap too - catch him when he's on tour.
This made me laugh earlier:
Not sure, doesn't seem so
http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/mps-call-for-jobs-blow.5919884.jp