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saying the wrong thing

AFKABartramAFKABartram
edited December 2010 in Not Sports Related
23.20 black cab tonight from Mary Jane's
Cabbie: where you from
Me: sidcup
Cabbie: I'm from bethnal green. You must be millwall then
Me: no mate, charlton. Round our way, if you've half a braincell or come from a half decent family you're charlton, and if you're a deliquant no good chav you're millwall. What are I you, I'm guessing west ham.
Cabbie: millwall

Not the greatest journof journey's after that ! What's the worst wrong thing at the wrong time you've said ?

Comments

  • Off_itOff_it
    Your missus not mind you going round this Mary Jane birds house then?
  • StigStig
    On hearing that our elderly neighbour's surname was Staines I said to her, "I used to work with a bloke called Staines, only his first name was Paul. What a stupid name to give someone called Staines".
    Neighbour, "My grandson's called Paul".

    A woman I worked with was particularly miserable one morning (more so than usual). Apparently her pet rabbit had just died. Another colleagued bowled into the office, took one look at her and said, "You don't look a happy bunny"!
  • oohaahmortimeroohaahmortimer
    Did you tip the cab driver?

    Where the scum are concerned I lose all sense of reality
  • oohaahmortimeroohaahmortimer
    edited December 2010
    How the hell (I presume drunk) did you construct a sentence containing millwall in it with out using the word c***s
  • stilladdictedstilladdicted
    edited December 2010
    Got rather a large selection, but most recent was at a hotel in Cairo. There was a wedding party in the hotel and it was a very grand but very Muslim affair. I was fascinated by the elegance of the women's beautiful bejewelled clothes and how they had been westernised yet still remained Muslim in character. The people on our Egypt tour were all watching and expressing their surprise. It rather contrasted with the wedding party men, who were dressed in very cheap looking and ill fitting suits with ties out of the 50's. I remarked to the woman next to me that the men looked like a bunch of creepy Jehovah's witnesses that you wanted to kick off your doorstep. She replied 'I am a Jehovahs witness'.
  • ValleyGaryValleyGary
    edited December 2010
    afka, in this case you said exactly the right thing.

    i hope you wiped bogies all over his seats.
  • AFKABartramAFKABartram
    Ha, this has. Just reminded me of it. Not had a lively one up the city for a very long time and forgot just what a bad idea jagermeisters are. When you're getting 4 hours kip and work the next day.

    Important lesson learned last night for a fellow short mate: never take the piss out of a 6ft 4 woman as there is a good chance she may be a man hating prison warden who enjoys showing off her restraining skills. Christ she beat the daddy out of him ! Very funny
  • AFKABartramAFKABartram
    Ha, this has. Just reminded me of it. Not had a lively one up the city for a very long time and forgot just what a bad idea jagermeisters are. When you're getting 4 hours kip and work the next day.

    Important lesson learned last night for a fellow short mate: never take the piss out of a 6ft 4 woman as there is a good chance she may be a man hating prison warden who enjoys showing off her restraining skills. Christ she beat the daddy out of him ! Very funny
  • Les Berrys TashLes Berrys Tash
    Walked into my local a few years back and said to the manager, that new barmaids a pig. He replied, that's my wife.
  • LenGloverLenGlover
    edited December 2010
    Opening my mouth and speaking usually does it with a wife and 3 daughters!
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  • Exiled_AddickExiled_Addick
    We had a new bloke start at the research company where I was working in the summers,whilst at Uni. When he arrived he told us he was married. I walked into one of labs about a week after he'd started and he was talking to one of my colleagues and looking a bit glum.

    Me: What's up Darren, your wife left you or something?

    Darren: Actually Matt, I was just telling Adam that she left 2 weeks before I started here but I was too embarrassed to tell anyone so I told you all I was married. I got the divorce papers through this morning.

    He was telling the truth too, she really had left him. I felt bloody terrible.
  • Folev the redFolev the red
    A few weeks ago i heard this boy complaining to what i thought was his mum about being dragged around the shops. To which i butted in and said "i used to hate being dragged around shops with my mum too." Then he goes, "erm mate, thats my missus not my mum."
    The saying 'if looks could kill' was appropiate with her right then
  • Stuart_the_RedStuart_the_Red
    Many moons ago I was doing a course at SELTEC in Lewisham and earning a few bob by working at McDonalds in Catford. Standing behind the grill I used to spend a lot of time with my mate discussing the merits of the various girls standing at the counter waiting to be served. One day we had a conversation that went like this:

    Me: I´d give her one!
    Him: which one?
    Me: that one over there!
    Him: That girl with the elderly couple?
    Me: Yeah, look at those tits, I´d really give her one!
    Him: that´s my sister with my parents!
    Me:.......................
  • nth_london_addicknth_london_addick
    One Sunny afternoon a few moons back i was in a kebab shop in enfield, In walks a blind man with stick and dog, the man was wearing an arsenal shirt

    After stroking his dog and helping him to a table

    Me " Big Arsenal Fan mate"

    Blind Man " all me life" You?

    Me " Charlton mate all mine"

    Me "did you see the back Heel Henry scored against us this season what a goal that was"

    Blind man " I aint seen anything since 74"
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