I have often announced, while in the birds company, my opinion on that fool Simon Jordan. The bird has or had no idea what or who SJ was. Thats all changed now after watching that show on ITV last night, dunno what its called..'Give me Money, I'm a ponce' or something like that. Anyway old orange skin was on it being a 24 carat 'A' hole. 'Who's that twat?' the bird says looking up from her magazine, 'Thats Simon Jordan, Crystal Palace Chairman" was my reply, 'You were right, what a complete c*nt' she said before returning to reading Good Housekeeping & Spanking Monthly.
I dont know what surprised me more, the language she used or the fact that now and again she listens to me!!
Mind how you go!
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"On the panel are Duncan Bannatyne (who I quite like), Jeffrey Archer (who I don't), two women who look the same and Simon Jordan - who performs a mind-boggling miracle each week by coming across as a bigger, smugger arsehole than Archer.
He looks like a cross between Gérard Depardieu and a thick waiter, and is one of those people you instinctively dislike the moment you clap eyes on them, presumably due to some weird, primordial twat-detector lurking in the evolutionary backwaters of the brain. Consequently, everything he says and does fills you with revulsion. Everything. Last week he raised an eyebrow and I vomited blood for an hour."
I'll just whip out and get one........;-)
Coat please!!!!
"..the biggest fart-stinking coinville has to be this massive waddling chunk of frig, Simon Jordan, a massive fucker who looks like a young Gerard Depardieu with the haircut of a nine-year-old girl. He's the resident meanie which is just as well because he radiates unlikeability like a - well, like a prick."
quality, thats made me larf, 'waddling chunk of frig' quality!
pardon my ignorance