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Why is

life so cruel sometimes?

Today I've been to the funeral of a friend who died of cancer aged 46.

He was a decent, hard working, clean living completely devoted husband and father yet got taken at such a relatively young age. Although his death was expected it's still hard to come to terms with. It must be a thousand times worse for his wife, children and parents.

Sorry to post on such a sad topic but I just cannot focus on work at the moment despite being here.

Comments

  • sorry to hear your bad news A.

    There is no rhyme or reason as to why some go earlier than they should. Was with a friend today whose wife's funeral I attended last year. She died of cancer in her 40s leaving two early teenage children.
  • That is sad news, awful way to go cancer, i feel for the family. Sorry to hear this Len.

    On the flip side Len, he has gone to a better place, no more horrible world, that is how i cope with losing anyone who is very close to me.
  • sorry to hear of the loss len

    its a very cruel disease
  • This sort of stuff is always a "good" leveler.

    A couple of months ago, i went to the funeral of a guy i was at Music college with- he hardly drank, never smoked, was a devoted family man who's only reason in life was his two young children and his wife. Took him a year and a half to die of cancer aged 45

    Truly one of the nicest kindest people i have ever known.

    Your not alone Len, I couldn't concentrate on anything for several days after that.

    At least he isn't suffering anymore!
  • I lost my son aged 10 to cancer five years ago. Life is f*@kin cruel. Having the strength to go on is what sets you apart from the crowd. Speaking from my own experience, take solace in the good times and do the best you can to support your friends wife and children...
  • sorry to hear that Len. My best mate died of leukaemia aged just 32. His girlfriend then aborted his child although he was desperate to be a Dad. Brought back to me today as girl at work is doing the marathon for Leukaemia care.
  • [cite]Posted By: orpingtonaddick[/cite]I lost my son aged 10 to cancer five years ago. Life is f*@kin cruel. Having the strength to go on is what sets you apart from the crowd. Speaking from my own experience, take solace in the good times and do the best you can to support your friends wife and children...

    mate, my heart goes out to you, that must be the worst.
  • It is - hard for all of us - probably even harder for my remaining son - they were very close. I have to say that CAFC and the Junior Reds were absolutely fantastic during his illness - he spent a day at the training ground and we got to meet all the players (also, Keith Peacock - top man - mega respect). They also sent him loads of stuff and Ged (from junior reds) attended the funeral.

    Jonathan came into the church to 'When the Red Red Robins...'. Each home game is a great reminder of what a fantastic child he was...
  • Apologies Len - didn't mean to hijack the thread. Just meant to say that, whether its family or friends, they're still loved ones and still missed. It does get easier to handle, honest.
  • [cite]Posted By: orpingtonaddick[/cite]Apologies Len - didn't mean to hijack the thread. Just meant to say that, whether its family or friends, they're still loved ones and still missed. It does get easier to handle, honest.

    i think you will find that every thread gets hijacked on this forum, its what makes it good. ney worries i think

    rip to your boy and to your mate len
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  • Orpington, I've got tears in my eyes. I can't imagine how I could cope with that and can only hope that if I ever had to I'd have half the strenght that you've shown.
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]Orpington, I've got tears in my eyes. I can't imagine how I could cope with that and can only hope that if I ever had to I'd have half the strenght that you've shown.
    likewise Henry, my thought`s are with you all.
  • Thanks Henry - it is without doubt every parents worst nightmare. In fact our other son was the reason to keep going - the show must go on.

    No more now - good weekend to one and all - raise a glass to 'absent friends'.
  • too true. Live, love, laugh and be happy as the song tells us. Good weekend everyone.
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]too true. Live, love, laugh and be happy as the song tells us. Good weekend everyone.


    when i was watching the centenary dvd on me birfdee the other week, i noticed them words, and realised where the saying come from. I thought it was your saying henry dood. learn something new all the time
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]Orpington, I've got tears in my eyes. I can't imagine how I could cope with that and can only hope that if I ever had to I'd have half the strenght that you've shown.

    You took the words right out of my mouth henry,LEN KEEP YOUR CHIN UP HE WOULD HAVE WANTED YOU TO.
  • [cite]Posted By: MCS[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]too true. Live, love, laugh and be happy as the song tells us. Good weekend everyone.


    when i was watching the centenary dvd on me birfdee the other week, i noticed them words, and realised where the saying come from. I thought it was your saying henry dood. learn something new all the time

    MCS, you are joking! How many times have you heard that song?
  • yeah loads, but i cant explain in this thread. i'll start a new one
  • Orpington, I'm with Henry on the the tear in the eye stuff.

    Total respect to you and yours- i'm sure that your son will be stronger for his brother's fight.

    Len, hope you "come out the other side" soon, certainly, from my perspective, no apology neccassary- that's the beauty of a forum like this with such a diverse bunch of people but who ultimately have so much in common it seems!
  • Thank you all for your support.

    Orpington, I take my hat off to you for your courage and I'm glad that coming to The Valley reminds you of your son. I think a lot of us have Loved Ones who used to attend games with us and somehow you do feel closer to them. I certainly do. One reason I don't want the Club to leave The Valley.

    The one consolation with my friend is that he had a very strong faith and had come to terms with his fate.

    Was it Marvin Gaye who said only the good die young?
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  • Lost my 34 year old cousin (leaving husband and 4 year old son) in Dec 2005 and boss at work at 38 (leaving wife and 1 and 3 year old daughters) in June 2006 - both to cancer. Terribly sad and upsetting, even though I'm not a very close relative. As others have said, they need all the support you can give.

    Has since made me all the more determined to 'live, love, laugh and be happy' for as long as I can. Thoughts with you, Orpington and Len.
  • Crumbs, I feel choked reading this.

    It's stuff like this that makes you realise that all of the other crap in life is just that - crap. It just doesn't matter. Too often we lose sight of what's really important in life.

    I'm off home now to see my missus and son. Have a good weekend one and all.
  • Went to a funeral 2 weeks ago today, for a close friend whose baby was sadly stillborn. Makes no sense whatsoever.
  • My brother died at 38 of leukaemia nearly five years ago and I was there in his hospital room and watched him die. He never drank (well the odd beer - I never saw him drunk or heard stories of him being drunk), never smoked, kept himself fit (he was a SGT in the TA) and he left a widow and three young children. I had two blood tests to see if I could be a bone marrow donor, I was something like a 95% match and they were going to proceed with me as the donor, but via the Anthony Nolan Trust a woman was found "somewhere in the North of England" - they never tell you the donor's name, or exact location at least not for the first two years after a donor operation - and then only if both parties agree to a meeting, so I never got to the chance, and neither did my brother more importantly, to say "thanks". The 18 months between him being diagnosed and dying were long - living in Germany I'd be calling in every day, usually to speak to my father and while 99% of the time his trips to hospital were routine, but every now and again I'd detect a note of panic in my father's voice, even when he was trying to re-assure me that everything was really alright.

    One small consolation for me was organising his funeral, it might sound strange to say that but it was kind of a closure thing to send him off with his family and friends around him. There was one thing I always remember about the day that makes me smile ruefully. I'd left it to my nieces to pick out a piece of music to carry the coffin out the church to, his favourite band was Queen but I barred them from using Bohemian Rhapsody - after all you can't have "mama I just killed a man..." booming out during a funeral service. Unfortunately I didn't look any further down the Greatest Hits CD, otherwise I'd have put a block on them using "Don't stop me now". Kids eh?
  • Totally agree with you thoughts re the funeral - we did the same. We used it as a celebration of his life and tried not to make it too sad. Consequently, when I go I want people to have a smile on thier face - if cremated I will disappear to Light My Fire by The Doors.
  • I was only 5 when my Dad left us. He was 30 and Hodgkins took him so ealry that I barely remember him. I still go and have a chat with him now and again in the big cemetary at the top of Broad Walk.

    Bless your mate Len, I hope his 46 years were good ones.
  • I know how you fell Len my Father in law not long ago was diagnosed with mesolothomia cancer whihc is asbestos based on the lung and is terminal.

    the geezer has grafted all his life saved up for a happy comfortable retirement and has had 14 months retired then bang gets this god damned cancer.

    was given 3 months in december which i think was worst case scenario but we hope he'll fight it and stay with us for when the baby is born

    keep your chin up mate
  • Fingers crossed Arf/ Ledge.

    My Father in Law was diagnosed with terminal cancer whilst my wife expecting our second daughter, unfortunately he didn't make it, although, he wasn't given a prognosis.

    I'm sure you don't need reminding but look after your missus through this!!

    Good luck mate!
  • Sorry to hear of such cruel news,and without stealing any1's thunder,lets just say.....i know how u feel.
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