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Footballers Who Return as Holy Men of Punditry

Yesterday I turned on the TV to watch the BBC Final Score programme for the first time in a long time. I think my life has changed forever through this simple act. My eye was drawn to a rotund,  shaven headed, hooded eyed figure sitting next to Matt Holland around the holographic table reserved for the wise men, a k a pundits of football. Good Lord, it's Buddah thought I, has the BBC  gone to the forbidden ends of the next world in search of new personalities with which to dazzle and enlighten us mortal viewers, but wait,  no, it's Garth Crooks, late of Happy Valley SE7 amongst other temples of sporting delight.  Is this a new AuntyBeebie religious experience I am undergoing? a message from the broadcasting heavens, has football finally taken over from drinking, chasing women and n'erdowelling in my unholy life?, has football succeeded in bringing joy and happiness to this miserable sinner who prostrates himself every weekend and sometimes even on a weekday evening before the beautiful and wonderous game? What other men who were at one time mere mortals gracing the holy arena between the four white lines have ascended into a far far better place only to return amongst us to impart wise counsel and words of wisdom just before the classified results are handed down to us on pixels of fire. Is Buddah Crooks alone in his ministry or are there other Holy men to be found on the telly who are blesséd with gurulike insight into the magic game. I have a suspicion that Alan Hansen is the reincarnation of Martin Luther and Mark Lawrenson the new embodiment of the hunchback of Notre Dame .. was the hunchback a holy man ?.. does his spirit hold the key to understanding the great and wonderous game we call f o o t b a l l ??  ..  will Robbie Savage ever achieve the divine sainthood denied him as a player yet open to him as a pundit ? Have other C/lifers been struck by a divine punditry experience that has changed their life for the better ?

Comments

  • Have you been at the cooking sherry?

    Having said that, I always thought mark pougatch looked like lord Vishnu
  • Have you been at the cooking sherry? Having said that, I always thought mark pougatch looked like lord Vishnu
    I think Mark Pugwash thinks that he actually IS Lord Vishnu .. and no, haven't had a drop for months
  • and Wayne Rooney as a pundit is something to look forward to.
  • McBobbin
    Have you been at the cooking sherry?
    Lincs...
    no, haven't had a drop for month


    Perhaps you should
  • I dislike Garth Crooks as a pundit with a passion. He would be better suited as a funeral director. Why does he take it so seriously and attach such gravitas to it?
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