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My night of passion with Bonnie Langford
3blokes
Posts: 4,610
I have read with interest the tales on here of celebrity punching and other encounters with both the great and good, and I feel it is now time for me to share with you all a memorable time I once had with that national treasure - Bonnie Langford.
It was a chance encounter at a busy London station that our paths crossed, it was a modern day Brief Encounter but with travelcards and a South London accent.
I was standing on an empty platform, when I turned and saw Bonnie next to me. Our eyes met but for an instant, and she turned away.
But I knew immediately.
She was gagging for it.
Maybe she had seen me playing at The Tramshed, the second to headline act, in a band on the brink of a residency in Chatham, maybe it was the irresistible lure of my mullet in the breeze that stirred a longing in her that she could barely contain.
There we were, her already a big star ( well hardly big- she had apparently walked under the ticket barrier) a household name who had shrieked and tap danced her way into a nation's affections, and me, a rising name barely just 15 years away from recording Santa is a Charlton fan.
It was inevitable.
We were a volcano ready to blow. She was the hot flowing magma, and I was the imminent urgent release of sulphur.
It was like Anthony and Cleopatra, Hart to Hart, Cannon and Ball.
And as explosive and powerful as it was, it could only be short lived.
We both knew it.
We would only burn ourselves out, it would consume us, if we did not walk away before it was too late.
We stood there, in silence, both caught up and lost in a simmering inferno of desire.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer I took a step closer to her.
I shall never forget the way she looked at me nor the urgent huskiness in her voice as she whispered
" If you come any nearer, I shall call security."
I stepped back a moment, my mind a whirl.
Already, Bonnie? I cried inside myself, hardly believing the heavy stench of betrayal in the air. Already, Bonnie, you want to introduce another man into what we have!?
In the end I looked away, lest she see the tears in my eyes.
We both knew it was over.
My last view was of her trying to clamber up the first step of the carriage.
I never saw her again.
I don't appear in her biography. Indeed it is almost as if I have been airbrushed out of her life.
If you asked her now, she would probably try to pretend it did not even happen.
But for a brief moment on that heady summer's day we were linked together at Euston Station.
Platform 4.
I fancy us to win 2-0. :-)
It was a chance encounter at a busy London station that our paths crossed, it was a modern day Brief Encounter but with travelcards and a South London accent.
I was standing on an empty platform, when I turned and saw Bonnie next to me. Our eyes met but for an instant, and she turned away.
But I knew immediately.
She was gagging for it.
Maybe she had seen me playing at The Tramshed, the second to headline act, in a band on the brink of a residency in Chatham, maybe it was the irresistible lure of my mullet in the breeze that stirred a longing in her that she could barely contain.
There we were, her already a big star ( well hardly big- she had apparently walked under the ticket barrier) a household name who had shrieked and tap danced her way into a nation's affections, and me, a rising name barely just 15 years away from recording Santa is a Charlton fan.
It was inevitable.
We were a volcano ready to blow. She was the hot flowing magma, and I was the imminent urgent release of sulphur.
It was like Anthony and Cleopatra, Hart to Hart, Cannon and Ball.
And as explosive and powerful as it was, it could only be short lived.
We both knew it.
We would only burn ourselves out, it would consume us, if we did not walk away before it was too late.
We stood there, in silence, both caught up and lost in a simmering inferno of desire.
Finally, unable to bear it any longer I took a step closer to her.
I shall never forget the way she looked at me nor the urgent huskiness in her voice as she whispered
" If you come any nearer, I shall call security."
I stepped back a moment, my mind a whirl.
Already, Bonnie? I cried inside myself, hardly believing the heavy stench of betrayal in the air. Already, Bonnie, you want to introduce another man into what we have!?
In the end I looked away, lest she see the tears in my eyes.
We both knew it was over.
My last view was of her trying to clamber up the first step of the carriage.
I never saw her again.
I don't appear in her biography. Indeed it is almost as if I have been airbrushed out of her life.
If you asked her now, she would probably try to pretend it did not even happen.
But for a brief moment on that heady summer's day we were linked together at Euston Station.
Platform 4.
I fancy us to win 2-0. :-)
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Comments
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brilliant0
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Funniest post I've read, nice one 3blokes!0
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I went to a restaurant on a date with that Rebekah Brooks the other week.
I said "Do you like Peppa Pig?"
She said "er.. Yes!"
I said "Waiter, could we have some pepper over here, please?"0 -
Nice one Jon. I always thought you were a dead ringer for Trevor Howard ;-)0
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I was just about to download American Psycho to my Kindle but I think I'll switch to some Mills & Boon now.0
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Different story to the one l hear, the encounter was with a bonnie tiler repairing the ceramics at glasgow airport.; )
Hiya Jon : )0 -
PMSL... superb 3blokes0
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Did you make her scream and scream again?0
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Enjoyed that more than the Notts County game..0 - Sponsored links:
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Bet it wasn't even close!
Enjoyed that more than the Notts County game..0 -
Certainly brought a smile to my face. The news about Steve Rann was a real kick in the bollocks and I needed something to smile about.
The ups and downs of football I get over quickly but not the passing of friends.0 -
You sure it wasn't Janet Krankie. There was a time when you went through that stage of refusing to wear prescription glasses. Similar whining accent?0
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It definitely wasn't Janet Krankie, Dave. She was on platform 3 ;-)
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Think it was a lie: Never read/seen it on the O/S.0
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Top post0
