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Joey Barton selected for Euro 2012

In a shock move which took the football world by storm, after Roy Hodgson had selected his team for Euro2012, Joey Barton was sensationally appointed manager of the England Thug OverSeas Supporters (or TOSSERS for short) who will travel with the team and will fight their Polish and Ukranian opposite numbers.

In making the appointment, Reggie Kray (dec'd) speaking through medium Derek Acorah said: "Over his career both on and off the field, Joey has shown himself to be a complete dickhead. Several convictions for assault and an ability to attack when the victim is unaware is the true mark of a c**t and in this regard Joey has excelled. His latest demonstration at the Etihad when his team needed him to stay on the field was a testament to his total lack of responsibility, which is what we expect in the 2012 Euro fights. His off-the-ball forearm jab to Tevez's throat, followed by a sneaky kick at Aguero were the hallmarks of a classic thug. Sadly his 'headbutt' at Kompany fell short of his usual standards but he has apologised and is already in training in order to rectify this deficiency in his game. As a bonus Joey has also shown his talent for vitriolic abuse of those who condemn him using Twitter (or in his case twatter). Friedrich Nietzsche (who is here with me) says Joey likes to quote him, so he asks me to remind Joey that 'One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear.'

In response Joey humbly replied: "You taking the piss?" before stubbing out a cigar in Mr Acorah's eye.

Comments

  • Sorry, but what was the point of writing this?
  • A bit of light-hearted satire that's all not to be taken seriously. If we only had posts which pleased everyone what a dull board this would be.
  • Each to their own, as they say, but I found it amusing, myself!
  • Sorry, but what was the point of writing this?
    What was the point of writing that?
  • I obviously didn't get it. I didn't, personally, find it funny, and I just couldn't see why someone would have written it when I read it in isolation.

    I guess I was trying to establish if I'd missed something and if I had what it was. Maybe it was in response to another thread, maybe it was a private joke between a group of members that didn't include me, maybe there was another reason for it. I just wondered.
  • I obviously didn't get it. I didn't, personally, find it funny, and I just couldn't see why someone would have written it when I read it in isolation.

    I guess I was trying to establish if I'd missed something and if I had what it was. Maybe it was in response to another thread, maybe it was a private joke between a group of members that didn't include me, maybe there was another reason for it. I just wondered.
    Surely you could have at least guessed that it was supposed to be amusing, even if you did not find it so?

  • Its because its not in the fun jokes & captions category
  • I thought it was funny Legal, nice one!?
  • I like how Joey Barton has the b#ll#ks to do thinkgs from the players of years ago but times change and he is a dickhead, however, this thread would suit him down to the ground and i wouldnt be surprised that when we see the Sky News cameras showing the fighting in the streets of Ukraine that they zoom in on a figure of Joey Barton!
  • I like how Joey Barton has the b#ll#ks to do thinkgs from the players of years ago but times change and he is a dickhead, however, this thread would suit him down to the ground and i wouldnt be surprised that when we see the Sky News cameras showing the fighting in the streets of Ukraine that they zoom in on a figure of Joey Barton!
    which ironically would then make him a folk hero to 90% of football fans

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